Learning to live again
by gothina234
Summary: Sequel to 'Return of a White Mask'. Reid is haunted by the trauma that he has been through and is trying to get back to the man he used to be, the man he wants to be. Will Reid be able to recover from all the pain or will the nightmares win? With the team behind him, only time will tell.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone, here is the follow on to 'Return of the white mask'. Please read the three other fanfics if you are new to this fanfic as it won't make a lot of sense if you haven't.**

**I hope you enjoy this and I hope that many of those who follow this particular line of fanfics find this okay. **

**Italic is for dreams.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**Please review**

**Five days after leaving the cabin**

_Reid shivered as he found himself back in the the basement where Jay Henson had first tried to kill him, he found himself in the basement where all the hell he been through had started. Reid looked around the basement, he stopped when he saw another version of himself sat on the chair near the noose that Reid recognised all too well. Reid noticed this version of himself was bloody and had a dark severe bruise around his throat. The thing that disturbed him the most was the fact he could see blood dripping from the spot where his little finger had been cut off on this other version of himself. He could hear the dripping noise as drops of blood hit the floor._

_"Hello," the bloody version of Reid said coldly._

_"What the hell is going on here? This has to be a dream," the real Reid said, his voice shaking slightly. He instantly knew then that he was dreaming. He could speak properly in his dreams while in the real world he couldn't._

_"Duh," the bloody version mocked._

_"Don't mock me," Reid snapped back._

_"Why not? I'm just the part of you that knows you should have died in this basement all that time ago. I'm the part of you that wishes when that chair was kicked out from underneath you by Jay that it had broken your neck. You know that you wouldn't have suffered so much pain and abuse if you had just given up in this basement," the bloody version said angrily._

_"Stop it, I don't want to listen to this," Reid shouted before he pressed his hands over his ears and turned away from the beaten version of himself._

_Reid yelped as he felt a wet hand grab his hair, he tried to grab the hand but failed to as he was dragged over to a blank computer screen. He jumped slightly when a video started on the screen. Reid realised then that it wasn't any ordinary video, it was one of his memories. An array of images came across the screen one after another, memory after memory being shown._

_The video stopped on a memory that he didn't want to see._

_"No! Don't make me watch this," Reid begged the beaten version of himself that was forcing him to watch the memory. The memory in front of him on the screen was of his attack in his apartment by Jacob._

_"This is why you should have died in this basement, your team are going to keep pushing you into danger and you are going to keep getting hurt. Just do us both a favour, next time someone has a gun to you, let them pull the trigger. Let them end your life, at least this way you won't be used and fucked like an object," the bloody version whispered into Reid's ear._

_"Leave me alone!" Reid yelled._

Reid jolted up up from his bed, his breathing heavily and erratic. Reid scrambled across his bed and switched in the light on his bedside table. Reid felt relief when his room flooded with light. Reid collapsed back into the wall of pillows he had been asleep on, he wiped stray tears from his face.

Reid calmed himself down as best as he could by thinking of good times he had had with the team. He closed his eyes and thought of Garcy, he remembered dancing with her in the kitchen and laughing with her. He remembered the cupcake icing fight they had had after his rescue from Jay Henson.

"Just c-calm down, d-don't lose control," Reid whispered to himself over and over.

Reid opened his eyes and looked around the the room he had been staying in for the last five days. He had felt safe staying at Rossi's house. The security system allowed Reid to look at CCTV on any television in the house, including the one on his room. The doors had multiple locks on them which Reid checked every night before he went to sleep at night and he kept most of the doors lock when Rossi had to go into work.

The nightmares had continously haunted him every night. Rossi had rushed into his Reid's room when Reid had been screaming to wake him up and calm him down.

Reid remembered the incident that had happened two days ago. Reid had woken up screaming, his throat raw and dry from the screaming. Rossi had struggled to calm him down. Rossi had had to call Morgan to help him. Reid had only calmed after Morgan had arrived and calmed him down. Reid had fallen asleep in Morgan's arms, he awoke to find Morgan sat on a chair next to the bed asleep. Reid knew that Morgan was the only one that could understand how he was feeling.

Reid pulled the covers off of himself and made his way to the kitchen. He switched on every light on his way, he couldn't face walking in the dark. He couldn't trust the dark, it had made him victim to so many evil people in the world. Reid grabbed a glass and poured himself a glass of water. He greedily gulped down the liquid before he placed his glass in the sink and made his way back to his room.

He switched off the lights he had turned on, he closed his door and stopped at the bottom of his bed. Reid stared at the bed and felt images of Jacob attacking him trying to force their way to the front of his mind. Reid struggled to push them back, he knew then that he couldn't fall go back to sleep on the bed.

Reid grabbed the lamp and put it on the floor. He knew this way going to be the only way he was going to sleep tonight. He didn't care if it made him looked like a child.

**Morning**

Rossi awoke to his doorbell ringing, he already knew who was at the door. Rossi quickly got out of bed and made his way to his front door. He opened it to see Garcia, Hotch and Morgan standing there.

"You guys are way too early," Rossi chuckled slightly before letting them into the house.

"Sorry if we woke you Dave, Garcia just really wanted to see Reid," Hotch said to Rossi.

"No need to apologise," Rossi smiled. "He isn't awake yet. Come with me and we'll wake him up."

Hotch, Morgan and Garcia followed Rossi to Reid's bedroom.

Rossi opened the door, he felt slightly panicked when he saw that Reid wasn't in bed. Garcia and the others walked into the room and felt the same panic.

"Rossi, where is he?" Garcia said, her tone worried.

"I think I know where he is," Hotch sighed before he walked over to the side of the bed, he knelt down on the floor and looked underneath the bed. Garcia walked to the side of the bed and knelt down by Hotch's side.

"Oh Reid," Garcia said as she saw Reid asleep underneath the bed, his head on a pillow and a large cover over his body. Reid looked so peaceful underneath the bed.

"Let's leave him alone. The more sleep he gets the better," Hotch said quietly before he helped Garcia get up off the floor. The four walked out of the room and closed the door. They walked into the kitchen.

"Why is he underneath the bed?" Hotch asked.

"After his attack at the mental hospital by Jacob, he stayed underneath his bed," Morgan told them. "Something must have scared him last night."

"I wish he wouldn't be scared anymore, he deserves to be happy," Garcia said.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews, you are all super amazing. I don't know what I did to deserve such great reviewers. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. Namira, thank you for your long review. I decided to put in some Morgan and Reid for you. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid groaned as woke up, he opened his eyes sluggishly. He slowly shuffled out from under the bed, he pulled his cover and pillow out with him and placed them on top of his bed. Reid picked up the lamp from the floor and placed it on the bedside table. Reid began to make his bed, he didn't want to leave his room in a mess.

Reid opened his bedroom door and made his way out to the kitchen, he stopped himself from turning around the corner when he heard Rossi talking.

"He is getting better but he is still scared. He has barely left the house since he came here and when he does he has trouble being around large crowds or other people, he just needs more time to recover," Rossi said. Reid listened silently from around the corner, he wasn't surprised that the team knew he was so scared. He had tried to hide it when he was awake but he knew he was failing miserably. Reid stayed around the corner as they continued to talk.

"Maybe we should take him out for a day, have a picnic with all the team," Garcia suggested.

"We'll have to ask him, it just-" Hotch began to say before he stopped.

"Just what?" Morgan asked.

"Everytime we go on a picnic with Reid, I can't help but remember when he was recovering from his first kidnapping. I can't help but flashback to the moment he tried to wheel himself into the large pond. I'm always keeping an eye on him to make sure that he doesn't try to hurt himself again," Hotch explained.

Reid bit his lower lip and winced as he remembered what they had been talking about. He remembered when he had tried to wheel himself into the pond when no-one has been looking, when he had been so depressed that ending it all seemed the only option. That had been the first time he had felt like that, the second time he had felt so depressed he had almost succeeded in killing himself.

Reid covered his mouth and took a deep breath so the team couldn't hear him. Reid knew that he had to pull himself away from the bad memories inside of his mind. He couldn't think like that anymore. He had to look forward to life, he couldn't think of life being something bad. Reid continued to listen to the team.

"That is back in the past, he isn't like that anymore. He is trying to get back to normal Hotch," Morgan said. "He needs us to be there for him and I'll be damned if I let him fall back into the depression that he felt when he tried to kill himself. He needs us with him to keep him safe, he needs us there to keep him from going over the brink. Trust me when I tell you that-that after what he has been gone through, after what Jacob did to him, he is going to struggle a lot."

The room became silent for a moment as they understood what Morgan was saying.

"We know that he is struggling. Maybe he should talk to someone professional therapist, someone that isn't connected to him personally so that they could help him without getting emotionally involved," Hotch suggested.

Reid snapped back into reality at the mention of seeing a professional. It was then that he decided he needed to speak up.

"Don't m-make me see a p-professional," Reid begged them with a small voice as he stepped out from behind the corner. All four of them turned to see Reid.

"How long have you been there sweetheart?" Garcia asked him as she walked over to his side.

"L-Long enough, I'm trying t-to get better, I really a-am. Pl-please don't make me professional, I d-don't want anyone else k-knowing what happened to m-me, especially a-a stranger," Reid said, his voice wobbling as he was beginning to get himself worked up.

"Hey Reid, its okay. Don't get upset. You don't have to go see anyone that you don't want to. We know that you are trying to get better, we can see that you are getting better," Garcia smiled gently at him. "You make the choices in your life now. Just remember that you have all the time you need to get better."

"I'll try h-harder to get b-better, I'm sorry i-if I'm being a hassle. It is j-just hard to feel s-safe outside after g-going through so much. I feel safe in here b-because I-I can see e-everything, I k-know where everything is and who h-has access to t-the house."

"Reid, you are not a hassle," Rossi spoke.

"Are you s-sure?"

"Yes, I am. How about we stop talking about bad, negative things and we do something for the day. The team has the day off," Rossi said.

"How do you feel about a picnic at the park?" Garcia asked Reid.

Reid bit his lip nervously but decided that some fresh air would be good for him.

"S-Sounds good," Reid smiled gently. Garcia clapped her hands together with excitement before kissing Reid on his cheek.

"Rossi and Hotch, would you help me get a few things together for the picnic?" Garcia said as she knew that Morgan wanted to speak with Reid. The two men nodded and followed Garcia out of kitchen.

Morgan

Morgan walked over to Reid and looked at him. Morgan immediately noticed that Reid was scared.

"Hey Reid, what's wrong?" Morgan asked.

"I-I had a nightmare l-last night, it f-freaked the hell out of me. There was another m-me in my d-dream, a bloody version and b-beaten v-version. He said things, things that really scared m-me," Reid admitted to Morgan.

"What things was this other version saying to you?" Morgan asked with concern in his voice. It worried him that Reid was having such disturbing nightmares. Morgan had to admit that he wasn't surprised by Reid's nightmares, he knew that they would still keep happening. He didn't dare tell the others what dream Reid had had the other night, the night he had had to come and calm Reid down.

"He said th-that he was the p-part of me that wished when J-Jay had kicked the chair from underneath m-me that t-the roped had broken m-my neck. H-He told me the next t-time some-one has a gun to m-my had I-I should just let t-them pull the trigger and e-end it all. He pulled me o-over to a screen and all the bad things that h-have happened to m-me came on the sc-screen. The other version of m-me made me w-watch Jacob when he was attacking m-me," Reid said quickly to Morgan.

"Oh Reid," Morgan sighed. "You don't feel like that, do you?"

"No, I d-don't. I-I just want to f-forget Morgan but I-I can't. I'm tired of dreaming about e-everything," Reid said.

"It's harder to forget things that cause us pain, violent things scar us when we are a victim of them. We just have to let the scars heal to the point where they are almost invisible. Healing takes time and that is what you need. You can talk to me whenever you need, you know that I will always be there for you. Okay, little bro."

"You haven't t-told them the nightmare I-I had that night y-you had to come over. Please d-don't ever tell them, especially G-Garcy," Reid panicked.

"Reid, I won't tell them. I promised that I wouldn't."

"T-Thanks Morgan, thank you for being h-here to talk, t-to understand."

"Anytime kid," Morgan smiled.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for all you amazing readers.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, I just need to point out that due to the timeline that this particular line of fanfic follows that Henry would be about 5 or 6, I may have it wrong. **

**Thank you for the reviews, they mean so much to me, you have no idea. Thank you again.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid kept silent in the car on the way to the picnic, he stared out of the window, he looked at all the people walking on the streets. Reid wondered about each and every person that he saw, he wondered what it would be like to be like them. There were times when he wondered what his life would have been like if he had never become a profiler, he wondered how different his world would be compared to the one he was living in now. Reid leaned up against the back of his seat and closed his eyes, Reid didn't even feel the soft embrace of slumber engulf him.

_Reid opened his eyes to find himself looking up at the night sky, he tried to move but found himself paralysed. Reid felt confusion as he realised that he wasn't even breathing. Reid felt a jolt of happiness when he heard Morgan's voice. He soon found his joy short lived._

_"This looks like a nasty one," Morgan's voice came from far away._

_Reid watched as Morgan leaned over into his vision. Reid could see that Morgan was studying him, he recognised the way that Morgan was looking at him all too well. It was the look that all the team members had on their faces when they studied a victim. Reid knew then that he wasn't breathing and couldn't move because he was a corpse._

_'Why am I dead?' Reid thought as he struggled to understand what was happening._

_"He fits the victimology to the detail, he has some defensive wounds so it shows that he struggle with the unsub. What is his name?" Morgan said as he turned his head up and looked to the side._

_Reid felt a strong feeling of pain inside him when he heard Morgan ask for his name. Why didn't Morgan recognise him?_

_"His name is Dr Spencer Reid, I had Garcia look him up," Emily's voice echoed. Reid couldn't see her, he could only see in front of him._

_"I guess he just wasn't strong enough to fight back," Morgan sighed before disappearing out of Reid's line of sight. Reid felt a sense on emptiness until he saw another version of himself walk over to him. This version of himself had multiple stab wound covering his stomach and chest, each wound leaking blood down the white shirt this version was wearing. The other him looked down and smiled at him._

_"No matter where you go in life or what direction you take, you will always be the victim. You will always be the one with the blood pouring out from you. Profiler or not, violence and horror will always find you."_

Reid jolted awake and flew forward in his seat only to be pushed back down by Morgan.

"Woah, Reid. You okay?" Morgan asked as he saw Reid's panicked expression and took in his heavy breathing.

Reid looked at Morgan, he looked around the car to see that Hotch had pulled the car over. Reid steadied his breathing and calmed himself down as he realised that he was awake again.

"I-I'm okay, I just fell asleep a-and had a bad d-dream. Can w-we just get to the park, I need s-some air," Reid told them as he ran his hands through his hair and took a few deep breaths. Morgan nodded before he turned to Hotch.

"He's fine Hotch, just drive to the park," Morgan said calmly before turning back to Reid.

**Fifteen minutes later**

Reid felt comfort as he walked across the grass in the park with Garcia holding his hand. Garcia had been talking to him since they had left the car, she had tried to get him to talk about his dream but he had refused. He didn't want to tell Garcia about his nightmares especially the one he had had the other night.

He never wanted her to know about that dream.

Reid wanted to keep Garcia away from the horrors of the world, especially the ones that resided within his mind and nightmares. Reid looked up as Garcia waved, he looked forward and saw JJ, Will, Henry, Jack and Emily sat around a picnic table.

"Uncle Spence," Henry laughed happily before running over to Reid and hugging him around his legs. Reid leaned down and gave Henry a small proper hug.

"H-Hey Henry, y-you are getting so big n-now," Reid smiled at him. Reid had not seen Henry in a long time, he hadn't realised how big Hnery was getting now. He still hated the fact that he couldn't remember anything about Henry before Jay Henson had kidnapped him.

"Mummy says as long I eat my peas I will grow big and tall," Henry smiled before pulling at Reid's shirt to come over to the table. Reid walk forward with Henry, he gave Will and JJ an awwkward 'hello' wave before he sat down on the bench.

"Hey Reid," Will said as he sat across from Reid.

"H-Hey Will," Reid said.

JJ could see how nervous Reid was and decided to get the picnic started.

"Time to eat," JJ said happily before she began to pull food out of a picnic basket.

**One hour later**

Reid had retreated from the group, he just wanted to some time alone, he wanted some space to just be himself for a little while. Reid was sat on the grass and against a tree, the team could still see him, he had promised them that he wouldn't wander off out of their sight. Reid smiled gently as he felt the sun on his skin, he also smiled at the fact that park wasn't busy.

"Hey uncle Spence."

Reid looked to the side and saw Henry standing next to him. The young boy had a small box of crayons and paper with him.

"Hey H-Henry, you okay?" Reid asked as he wondered why his godson had wandered over to him.

"Aunty Pen told me to come over. Wanna draw?"

Reid let out a small laugh at the fact the Garcia had sent Henry over to keep him company.

"I-I'd love to draw," Reid said. Henry smiled and sat down next to Reid, he handed Reid some paper and put the crayons on the grass in between them. Henry began to draw. Reid watched Henry draw for a moment before he also started to draw. Reid decided to draw the park. He couldn't think of anything else to draw. The two drew for about ten minutes before Henry pulled at Reid's sleeve to get his attention.

"Are you okay uncle Spence?" Henry said in a small child like voice.

"I-I'm okay Henry, did your mommy a-ask you to a-ask me t-that?"

Henry shook his head.

"You look sad, mummy tells me that you should help a person when they are sad," Henry smiled sadly.

"You are one smart child Henry," Reid said, he didn't know how Henry was able to tell that he was sad. He tried to look strong in front of Henry.

"Mummy and daddy say I am smart, mummy me wants me to go to Yale. What is Yale?" Henry asked with a curious look on his face.

Reid dropped the crayon and grabbed his head as a group of images rush across his head. Reid didn't know what was happening, all he knew was that his brain didn't like it. He faintly heard Henry scream for his mummy. Reid whined slightly as he felt a rush of memories come forward.

'You want to go to Yale Henry, that was your godfather's safety school. Don't worry I can get you into Caltech with one phone call' a voice echoed in his mind, a voice that Reid recognised as his own.

It was then that Reid remembered the first time he ever held his godson, the first time he had ever truly felt needed by someone.

He remembered everything.

Reid jolted awake to find JJ and Will above him with worried faces. Reid sat up from the grass against JJ's wishes for him to stay down.

"Reid, are you okay?" JJ asked as she checked him over frantically.

"Where i-is Henry?" Reid asked.

"He is fine, he is over there with Garcia," JJ said before she pointed over to Garcia who was holding a slightly upset and scared Henry.

Reid quickly scrambled to his feet and rushed over to Garcia, JJ and Will were right behind him.

"Uncle Spence, you okay?" the young boy sniffled.

"I-I'm fine, I-I'm happy," Reid laughed softly before he brought his hands out to take Henry. Henry immediately went into his godfather's arms. Reid gave Henry a big hug as he held him. He could tell that the others were staring at him but he didn't care. He was just so happy that he remembered Henry again. He couldn't even stop the small tears of joy running down his cheeks.

"Reid, is everything alright?" Garcia asked as she noticed that Reid was crying. Reid looked up from Henry and then looked to Garcia with a smile on his face.

"I-I remember, I-I remember H-Henry," Reid told Garcia. Garcia smiled at the news that Reid had remembered his godson. Reid hugged a giggling Henry again.

"How could I-I have e-ever f-forgot you?"

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	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter, enjoy!**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews on the last chapter and I am happy that a certain reviewer enjoyed the henry and Reid moment. Thank you again. Also thank you for pointing out my mistake, I have fixed the names on the last chapter so it should be fine now. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Warning, this chapter is darker than than the previous chapter**

**Later that night**

Reid felt happy as he rested down on his pillow in bed, he had remembered something good, he had remembered his godson, he was glad that he had regained the memories of Henry that he had had before his brain damage. Reid smiled as he thought how the rest of the day had gone. He and Henry had played a little football with Morgan and Hotch, he had enjoyed his day out with the team. The best part of it was seeing how happy JJ had become, Reid had not seen her stop smiling all day.

Reid felt the smile on his face fall when he thought about going to sleep, he knew that the good he had enjoyed during the day could not stop the darkness he was about to face in his dreams. Reid tried to force his eyes to stay open but he knew he was losing the battle as he felt the sandman's song pulling him into a slumber. Reid let out a small whine as he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

_Reid felt fear engulf him as he realised where he was. Reid knew he was back at the mental hospital, he also recognised the reek of alcohol that filled the air. Reid felt tears running down his face, he could feel his body shaking as he felt shame at being used. Reid looked up to see Jacob Harris dressing himself. Reid didn't want to be in this nightmare, he didn't want to be experiencing this nightmare again._

_"At least you are useful for something," a voice said next to Reid. Reid closed his eyes as he recognised the voice that had spoken, the voice had been his own. Reid looked to side and saw that the bloody and beaten version that had been haunting his other nightmares had returned. Reid looked back to Jacob Harris to see that he had stopped moving, it was like time had been stopped._

_"What did you say?" Reid said, his voice shaking. Reid tried to sit up but found his body refused to move again._

_"I said at least you are useful for something," the beaten version sighed. "You have been a waste of space since Jay Henson. When will you except that you are only good for being used? Look at me, I'm the part inside of you that knows you are never going to get back to normal. You are never going to be the man you used to be, although let's be honest, you were never really much of a man were you."_

_"I will return to the man I used to be, just stop speaking. Just shut up!" Reid shouted. Reid yelped when the other bloody version of himself climbed on top of him. Reid tried to shout out but couldn't as the other version of himself clamped his hand over his mouth._

_"See how weak you are!" the bloody version screamed at him. "I know that you are still full of shame. You won't even tell Morgan what Jacob Harris truly took from you. Face it, you are just a whore. A filthy disgusting whore!"_

_The beaten and bloody version removed his hand and smiled down at Reid._

_"Shut up! Morgan doesn't need to know that. I'm not a whore. Jacob forced himself on me, I tried to fight back but he overpowered me. I'm not filthy, I'm not filthy," Reid screamed. Reid jumped slightly when the other version of himself let out a roar of laughter._

_"You keep telling yourself that. No matter how hard you scrub, you will be a filthy little whore. You can trust me, I'm you," the bloody Reid laughed._

Reid gasped for air as he jolted awake in his bed, he stuggled to move the covers of himself as he found himself entangled in them. Reid threw the covers off himself and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He sat up and tried to calm himself down. Reid wiped the sweat from his forehead before running his hands through his hair.

Reid brought his hands out in front of him and looked at them. Reid ran towards the bathroom in his room, he knew what he needed to do. He needed to feel clean again.

**Rossi**

Rossi wasn't sure what awoke him but he pulled himself out of his deep sleep and sat up in his bed. Rossi looked around the room and saw that nothing was different. Rossi felt his entire body go on high alert when he heard the rush of water, he realised that a shower was on. Rossi quickly scrambled out out of his bed and half jogged back to Reid's bedroom. Rossi opened Reid's door to find Reid wasn't in his bed.

Rossi took a few steps into Reid's bedroom, he looked to the side to find the bathroom door was open. Rossi walked forward, he stopped outside the door and knocked on it.

"Reid, is everything okay?"

Rossi waited to a response, he opened the door when he didn't recieve one. Rossi walked into the bathroom to see something that made shock run through his body.

"Reid, stop it," Rossi yelled as he rushed over the shower where Reid was sat still fully clothed. Rossi quickly turned off the shower and knelt down next to Reid, he ignored the wet feeling on his knees. Rossi felt sick as he saw the blood on Reid's arms. Reid continued to scrub the raw and bloody skin on his arms, he continued to hurt himself. Rossi was even more disturbed by the fact that Reid wasn't showing any signs of being in pain. He was completely unresponsive.

Rossi snatched away the scrubbing brush and threw it out of the shower. He quickly brought his hands to the side of Reid's face, he made Reid look him in the eye.

"Reid, why would you do this?" Rossi asked with concern in his voice.

"I-I'm a whore, I'm al-always going to be that way. I have t-to scrub away the filth, only w-way to me again," Reid whispered.

"Reid, you are not a whore. Why would you think that? You are still you, you are still Spencer Reid," Rossi said as he tried to get through to Reid.

"I can never b-be me again, I can never b-be the m-man I use to be," Reid mumbled as he began to pull away from reality again.

"Yes you can Reid. You will get stronger, you are already getting stronger. You are still the strongest man I know," Rossi said.

"S-Stop lying to m-me! You d-don't know w-what he did, y-you don't k-know what Jacob took from me," Reid shouted before he pushed away Rossi's hands. Rossi tried to help Reid but Reid kept hitting his hands away.

"I-I need Morgan," Reid gasped. Rossi didn't bother to argue, he knew that Reid was scared. Rossi quickly grabbed any items that Reid could use to hurt himself and rushed out of the room, he grabbed his cellphone and dialled Morgan's number.

**Twenty minutes later**

Morgan pulled into Rossi's drive quickly, he had raced over to Rossi's house in his car when Rossi had called him about Reid. He was sure that he broken a few speed laws. Morgan quickly knocked on Rossi's door, he barely kept still as he waited for Rossi to answer. Rossi whipped open the door and Morgan bolted through the door towards the bathroom. Morgan stopped at the bathroom door when he saw the condition that Reid was in. Rossi quickly came to Morgan's side and stared at Reid as well.

"What the hell happened?" Morgan asked Rossi quietly.

"I woke up and I heard the shower on, I came in here and he was scrubbing his skin raw. I tried to put something on his arms but he won't let me touch him, he refuses to let me near him. He said that Jacob took something from him, that he did something to him," Rossi explained to Morgan.

Morgan took a deep breath and walked over to the shower, he walked into the small shower and kneeled on shower floor in front of Reid. Reid slowly lifted his head up as he registered that Morgan was there.

"M-Morgan," Reid said in a small voice.

"Hey Reid, I'm here. Everything is okay," Morgan said as he took Reid's arms and lowered them down, he let out a small gasp at how bloody Reid's arms were.

"I-I had to scrub them, I need to be cl-clean again. I c-can't be a filthy whore anymore," Reid cried gently to Morgan.

"You are not a filthy whore, why the hell would you think that?"

"I d-didn't want to tell you a-about what J-Jacob took from me. I was a-afraid that you w-would think less of me," Reid cried.

"Reid, what did he take from you?"

"P-People say that w-when you are first w-with someone th-that person is supposed to be special, I-I had never been w-with anyone b-before in that way. He took the last thing I truly h-had that was innocent."

"Oh god!" Morgan said as he realised what Reid was saying. "Reid, were you a virgin?"

Reid nodded his head before he burst out crying. Morgan looked over to Rossi, both of them were shocked. They had had no idea that Reid had been hurt in a such a way. Morgan rushed forward and hugged Reid, Reid gripped onto Morgan's jacket and rested against Reid's chest.

"I am so sorry kid."

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you amazing and super wonderful readers. **

**Thank you all so much for the reviews and adds, my email inbox is having a meltdown with all the adds and reviews. I hope this chapter is okay for you all. Thank you again.**

**The italic part is a past memory.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan held onto Reid and let him cry. It was twenty minutes later when Reid collapsed again Morgan's chest. Morgan lifted Reid's face up to see that Reid had managed to cry himself to sleep. Morgan carefully lifted Reid up and carried him out of the shower, he put laid Reid on the bed and looked up as Rossi came into the room carrying a first aid box.

"Should we take him to hospital?" Rossi asked Morgan as he handed the first aid box over. Morgan examined Reid's arms for a few moments, it frightened Morgan to know that Reid would do this to himself.

"No, I can wrap this up. As long as he keeps it clean he should be fine. I don't think that taking him to a hospital would be a good idea. Reid wouldn't forgive use if we took him to the hospital without his permission and the doctors would ask questions. The doctor would take one look at his mental history and try put him away again. I am never ever putting him through that again," Morgan said as he began to wipe antiseptic wipes across the large area on one of Reid's arms where Reid had scrubbed it raw and bloody.

Morgan heard small whimpers of pain from Reid, he stopped for a moment and looked at Reid. He noticed that Reid was still asleep and decided to continued treating Reid's wounds. He covered the raw area with a dressing before wrapping a bandage around Reid's arm. Morgan then moved to the other arm and repeated the process. Morgan sighed when he had finished bandaging Reid's wounds. He put bloody wipes and used medical items in the bin before he returned to the bed. Morgan carefully got Reid changed into some dry clothes, he couldn't help but stare at the scars that littered Reid's body. He could see the small scars of Reid's stomach from where Jay Henson had pressed metal spikes into his stomach. Morgan was most disturbed by the carving of a tic tac toe game in Reid's back.

Once Morgan had dressed Reid's unconcious form, he pulled him up the bed till his head rested on some pillows. Morgan covered Reid over with a large cover. Morgan knew that he needed to get Reid to eat more, he could see that Reid was took skinny. He knew that Reid would not recover if the nightmares continued.

Morgan sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Reid slept. Morgan couldn't help but remember the weekend before Reid's first kidnapping by Jay Henson. The weekend before everything changed for Reid.

_Morgan laughed as Reid did a shot of tequila, Morgan had managed to talk Reid into doing the shot. Reid almost dropped the shot glass as the effects of tequila hit him. Morgan let out a loud laugh when he saw Reid's face contort. Reid put the shot glass on the table._

_"Argh! That is rough," Reid coughed before he shook his head to try and get Reid of the feeling that the tequila had left behind._

_"That was brilliant pretty boy, your face when that tequila hit you," Morgan chuckled before taking a small sip of his drink._

_"You talked me into it!" Reid said._

_"Was that seriously the first time you have ever had tequila?" Morgan asked as his curiousity won out. Morgan wondered what Reid had missed out on during his life._

_"Yeah, I don't really drink alcohol. I like my brain cells and alcohol can dramatically affect your reaction times, most auto accidents are a direct result of alcohol consumption. Most people don't understand that you can still fail a breath test the next day if you have consumed a large amount of alcohol the night before. Did you know-" Reid said before Morgan interrupted._

_"Reid, stop with statistcs for tonight. Just enjoy yourself," Morgan smiled._

_Reid let out a small laugh before he took a sip of his soda._

Morgan came back to the present when Rossi walked into the room and tapped him on the shoulder.

"You okay Morgan," Rossi asked as he noticed how sad Morgan looked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just remembered the night out I had with Reid before he was first kidnapped. He had just had his first shot of tequila. He wasn't going to come out that night but I managed to convince him to come out. It actually hurts to think about Reid before he was first kidnapped, he was so normal and innocent back then. He didn't have nightmares about being attacked, he wasn't scarred all over his body. I just want him to get back to a good place but I know that is going not going to happen anytime soon. I don't know how he does Rossi, I don't how he is still standing. All I know is that he is a stronger man than I am," Morgan said before he got off the bed and rubbed his hand over his head as he tried to calm himself down.

"He is stronger than any of us. It hurts me as well to think about Reid before he was attacked. Back then he seemed so full of hope and he was looking forward to so many things. He was finally coming out of his shell. Everytime I look at him now all I see in my mind is him hanging from a rope, all I see is his limp body after he had taken all those pills. I know that he is strong enough to get better, we just have to keep supporting him. Morgan, he needs you the most. You are like the big brother that he never had and you understand what he is going through. Morgan, with time he will get better. We just have to be there for him till he is ready to face the world again," Rossi replied back to Morgan.

"What if he is never ready"? Morgan said quietly.

"We will still be there for him, we stay by his side and we take care of him," Rossi said before he looked to Reid's sleeping form.

**Morning**

Reid awoke and smiled slightly at the sight in from him. He sat up against the headboard, he ignored the pain in his arms. He didn't want to remember the night before. It had been a night of shame for him. He wanted to have few moments where he didn't feel any shame.

"Morning baby boy," Garcia smiled at him before she ran her hand through his hair repeatedly to soothe Reid. Garcia knew what had happened the night before, Morgan had explained to her although she knew deep down that Morgan had not told her everything. Garcia was okay not knowing everything. She knew that Reid entrusted Morgan with secrets. She wasn't interested in those secrets, all she was interested in was the health of best friend.

"Garcy," Reid whispered happily.

"You okay?" Garcia asked as she sat next to Reid on the bed.

"I-I'm okay, I don't feel too good t-though, f-feel weary," Reid admitted, he knew he couldn't hide anything from Garcia.

"It's okay, I can stay and look after you. It's my job to look after my little genius," Garcia smiled. "Do you want to go and get some breakfast?"

"No," Reid sighed before he looked at Garcia. "C-Can we just sit here for a while? P-please."

"Of course we can," Garcia said before she wrapped her arms around Reid and hugged him.

Reid rested against Garcia and felt warmth and happiness as she hugged him. Reid felt he could ignore the world around him at the moment.

And that was exactly what he did.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone, sorry for the late update. Okay so my other laptop is currently being fixed and I am borrowing one right now so updates are going to be a bit spaced out for the next few days. Hopefully no longer than that. **

**Thank you all for the reviews, they were amazing and I must as always thank you for them.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid stayed with Garcia for twenty minutes before they were both called out called out of the room. Reid didn't want to move but the rumbling of his stomach told him that he needed to go and eat something.

"Come Reid, let's go get you some breakfast," Garcia smiled at him. Reid gave her a small smile back before he withdrew from their hug. He pushed the covers off himself and sat up on the ledge of the bed. He looked down at his arms and remembered the night before, he remembered what he had told Morgan.

Reid worried about what Morgan was going to think of him now. Reid hated how pathetic he felt, he hated how pathetic he looked but he just couldn't help it. He missed being his old self. He missed walking into the bullpen every morning and joining the team. Reid winced as moved his arm but he ignored the pain after a few seconds. He had worse on his arms. Reid pushed away memory of himself in the hospital as Jay Henson's apprentice carved into his arms before trying to strangle him.

Reid refused to back to that point in his mind. Reid looked up to Garcia holding her hand up in front of him. Reid let out a small smile as he took it, she lead him into the kitchen where a delicious smell hit Reid's senses.

"T-That smells d-delicious," Reid said Garcia sat down at the table.

"We are having pancakes with anything you want on top and on the side. We have strawberries, sugar, honey, and bananas and chocolate. When that pancake hits your plate I want you to tuck in," Garcia ordered in her best motherly voice.

"Okay," Reid said.

Reid felt nervous when Morgan walked into the room. Reid watched as Morgan made his way to the table and sat down next to him.

"Morning Reid," Morgan smiled happily.

"H-Hey Morgan I j-just want to say t-thank you for what you d-did last night. I'm r-really sorry I-I woke you up," Reid apologised. Reid felt like he was disturbing everyone's lives, he felt like a problem and that was the one thing he didn't want to be to the team.

"Garcia, could you help Rossi with the pancakes?" Morgan asked politely. Garcia nodded and made her way over to help Rossi. Garcia knew that they needed to talk privately.

Reid bowed his head slightly when Morgan looked back at him.

"Reid, don't be sorry. You needed someone to come and help you and I'm happy with that someone being me. Reid, you were in a bad shape last night. You had scrubbed your arms till they were raw and bloody. You don't need to feel any shame for what you told me last night. I'm so sorry about what Jay Henson did to you, I'm sorry that he took that from you. Reid, I am here for you whenever you need me. You can always call me, I will always come and help my little brother," Morgan said calmly to Reid.

"You don't think l-less of m-me," Reid asked with surprised evident in his voice.

"No I don't. Reid, I need to ask you something. I need to know what triggered what happened last night," Morgan asked.

Reid bit his lip nervously; he decided that he needed to tell Morgan. He knew that Morgan would understand better than anyone else and he knew if he kept his dreams to himself they would destroy him.

"The dream was j-just a-after Jacob had f-finished…when he had f-finished using me t-the very first time," Reid said steadily. "H-He was getting d-dressed and then h-he just froze. I was l-lying on the g-ground and t-then another v-version of myself, a bloody and bruised version o-of myself was laid next to me. He said that a-at l-least I w-was useful for something, he said t-that I have been a w-waste of space since J-Jay first hurt me."

"Reid I want you to-"Morgan tried to say before Reid interrupted him.

"Please l-let me f-finish," Reid said, he knew he was on the verge of losing it again but he had to tell Morgan. He knew he had to.

"H-He said I was never really much of a man. I argued and said t-that I would be the man t-that I once was. He climbed o-on top of me and p-put his hand over m-my mouth, he s-shouted at m-me and called me w-weak. He said I w-wouldn't tell you what J-Jacob truly did to me, w-what he took from m-me. He said no matter h-how hard I scrub I will b-be a f-filthy d-disgusting whore, " Reid said as his voice shook, he was trying to keep himself from crying but it difficult as a flood of memories from both Jacobs attacks came to the front of him mind.

Reid began to breathe faster and faster causing Morgan to jump out his chair and go to Reid's side. Garcia also ran to Reid's side when she saw how distressed he was.

"Reid, stay calm. Don't go back to anywhere bad," Morgan ordered Reid.

Reid began to shake and cry in front of them. Morgan knew that Reid had succumbed to a flashback by the lack of response from him. Reid began to scream and screech more wildly know, he began to move his arms around violently. Rossi had now also rushed over.

Morgan quickly moved Reid off the chair and onto the floor; he sat behind Reid and wrapped his arms around Reid as if to restrain him. Garcia had tears in her eyes as she watched Reid relive hell in his mind.

"I w-won't tell, I-I gave him exactly w-what h-he needed. H-as to be a s-secret, I-I was bad I-I didn't keep it a-a secret. I'm a w-whore, I'm a filthy w-whore," Reid said quietly through the broken sobs and tears.

"Reid, its Garcy. Can you hear me? Come back to us sweetheart," Garcia said as she grabbed the sides of Reid's head and made him face her. It made her scared to see such a vacant look on Reid's eyes.

Everyone froze as Reid stopped moving and stared in front of him. Reid began to rock slightly.

"Reid, everything is okay. Can you hear us?" Morgan said.

Reid continued to rock and stare in front of him. Morgan released Reid and made his way to kneel in front of him. Reid just stared; he didn't register anything going on around him.

"What is wrong with him? Why isn't he talking to us?" Garcia panicked.

"I'm calling a friend of mine, he is a psychiatric doctor. He won't try putting Reid into a hospital but he'll be able to tell us what to do. This isn't normal," Rossi said as he grabbed his cell phone.

"Rossi, Reid would never forgive us if we called a doctor. He would hate us for it," Morgan argued.

"Morgan, look at him. He is locked away so far in his mind right now that we can't bring him out of it. I'm calling my friend so he can help and that is final."

**Please review**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone, I'm sorry for the delay. Just been crazy busy and only just got my laptop back. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, they are great as usual. Thank you again.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid couldn't stop the images from rushing to the front of his mind, he couldn't move or speak. Reid wanted to cry as he remembered Jacob forcing him to do things that he didn't want to do, as he remembered the pain. Reid was aware of his surroundings, he heard the team telling him to come out of the memories but he couldn't obey them, everything inside of him was keeping him locked away. Reid heard footsteps walk away from him, he knew he was alone now.

Reid felt his heart fill with fear as he saw someone sit in front of him, he felt fear because he knew this person couldn't be real. The man sat in front of him was the beaten and bloody version of himself that haunted his nightmares. Reid was afraid that the last sane part of himself was now gone. He wondered if he had finally gone crazy. Reid tried to move but found himself still trapped in his own mind.

"Don't worry, the memories will stop soon. I'm only here for a few moments to show you that I was right all along. Do me a favour and listen to the voices in the other room, I know you can hear them. Guess where crazy is going back to?" the bloody hallucination of himself smiled.

Reid concentrated on trying to hear the voices in the other room. It took a few moments but he found the voices and listened to them intently.

"Rossi, you can't do this," Reid heard Morgan say angrily.

"He needs help, the doctor will be able to get him out of whatever is happening to him. He needs help," Rossi said back. Reid froze inside as he heard the word doctor. The bloody version of himself laughed in front of him.

"We're going back to the mental house!" the bloody hallucination of himself laughed hysterically. "I wonder who will use you this time. The team is already sick of looking after you, can you blame them? You are nothing but a hassle to them, they want to get on with their lives. They don't have room for you."

The hallucination of himself disappeared in front of him. Reid blinked a few times and let out a small breath. Reid shook his head as he tried to remember where he was. Reid looked around and remembered that he was in the kitchen. Reid stood his feet unsteadily, he swayed for a moment before he stopped and found himself being more steady. Reid could hear the others in Rossi's study. He knew what they were planning to do with him. They were going to put him in another mental hospital. He couldn't go back there, he couldn't be trapped again.

Reid knew that there was only one way that he was going to stay out of the mental hospital. He knew that he had to run. Reid ran over to the side, he searched Morgan's jacket that was on the side. He felt a surge of happiness as he found a set of car keys. Reid grabbed Morgan's jacket in case he needed one. Reid carefully ran to the front door, he found his shoes and slipped them on. Reid opened the door as quietly as he could and stepped outside. Reid unlocked the SUV that Morgan has been using, he quickly climbed into the car and started it.

**Morgan**

Morgan was furious as he listened to Rossi try to justify calling the doctor. The inside him dulled as he heard an engine being started from the drive.

"That's my car," Morgan interrupted Rossi. Rossi and Morgan looked at each other for a second before bolting of the room, they ran outside to find Morgan's SUV driving fast down the road. They barely registed Garcia till she spoke.

"Reid's gone! His shoes and your jacket are gone. He took the car," Garcia panicked.

"Why would he run away like this?" Morgan said in shock. A look of horror came across Rossi's face making Morgan turn his attention to the man.

"Do you think he heard us talking?"

"Oh no, he probably thinks we are going to put him in a mentla hospital. We have to track him down, it isn't safe for him to be driving," Morgan said before he picked up Rossi's house phone and dialled a number.

"Who are you calling?" Garcia asked.

"I'm going to call Reid on the spare phone I have in the car, I always have a handsfree in my car in case of emergency," Morgan explained. Morgan waited as the phone started to ring.

**Reid**

Reid didn't care where he was going, all that mattered to him was getting away. Reid jumped as the small cellphone wired into the handsfree set began to ring. Reid recognised the number as Rossi's house phone. Reid pressed the answer button before returning his attention back to the road quickly.

"Reid, it's Morgan. Reid, please just turn the car around and we can talk," Morgan pleaded. Reid could hear the worry in his friends voice. He couldn't trust the voice.

"Y-You lied t-to me!"Reid yelled. "You s-said that you w-would never m-make me go to a-a hospital, I h-heard you t-talking. You think I'm crazy. Morgan, you fucking p-promised m-me that I would never go back t-to a place l-like that. I c-can't go back."

Reid began to cry as he felt as if the world was falling apart around him. Everything he had worked so hard to rebuild was falling away again.

"Reid, we are not sending you anywhere. Rossi wanted to call a friend of his when you wouldn't come out of it back in the kitchen. Rossi's friend is a doctor. Reid, I promised you that you would never ever go back to a mental hospital. I promise you that you are not going to a hospital. Just come back to the house Reid," Morgan begged again.

"No, no, no. I'm n-not seeing a d-doctor. He will just p-put me back into a p-place where I get used. That is all I-I am good at. Just leave m-me alone, I w-want to be alone!" Reid shouted before pressing the disconnect button.

Reid kept driving till he got onto the highway, Reid didn't want to stop. He knew deep down that if he stopped he was going to lose his freedom again.

**A few hours later**

"Garcia, are you sure that the car has stopped?" Morgan asked as he raced towards where he hoped Reid would be. Morgan cursed the rain as it thundered outside of Rossi's car, he could barely see anything.

"Morgan, I tracked your car and it has not moved for the last ten minutes. How close are you to it?"

"I'm about two minutes away. Babygirl, I hope he is okay. It's all my fault, I should have stayed with him. I should have stopped Rossi from calling the doctor," Morgan said as he felt a wave of guilt run through him.

"None of this is your fault. Reid is scared and frightened right now, if you want to blame and feel angry at someone feel angry at the bastards that hurt my junior g-man. Blame them," Garcia said angrily down the phone. Morgan was concerned for Garcia. Morgan turned the corner and saw the SUV parked at the corner of a long road with trees at the side. Morgan parked behind the SUV.

"Babygirl, I'm here. I'll call you back in a minute," Morgan said before disconnecting the call. Morgan opened his car door and ran to the SUV, he tried the door handle and cursed when he found that the car was locked. Morgan looked into the car and couldn't see anyone inside, he couldn't see any sign on Reid. Morgan hit the car in anger and turned around to go back to his car. He stopped when he saw a small figure sitting under a tree.

Morgan ran across the road and kneeled down next to Reid. Reid was shaking from the rain being so cold, his teeth chattering and his hands shaking too hard. Reid was staring ahead again, Morgan wasn't even sure if Reid had registered his arrival. Morgan knew that Reid had been sat in the cold for too long. His hair was soaking wet and Reid's skin had gone a deathly pale.

"Reid, can you hear me?" Morgan said gently.

"I-I was g-going t-to d-do so much i-in my l-life, I d-don't h-have a life a-anymore. I c-can't do anything a-anymore," Reid said through chattering teeth.

**Please review**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone, firstly let me apologise for the delay in updating. I had to do some training at where I work so I haven't had a lot of time to write. Finished that now so updating will return to normal. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, they are amazing and awesome as always. Your reviews helped me shrug off a quite rude review I got on Hangman. Thank you for keeping my writing spirits up. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan sat next to Reid, he didn't care about getting soaked by the rain, all he cared about was making sure that Reid was okay. Morgan decided to see if he could get Reid out of the rain.

"Reid, you are freezing cold. Let me help you to my car, we can talk there and get you warmed up," Morgan said before trying to put his hand on Reid's shoulder. Reid moved away from Morgan's touch.

"I-I like c-cold, I-I don't feel anything w-when I-I'm cold. T-The car ran out o-of f-fuel," Reid said through chattering teeth. "I-I don't w-want to go to a-a hospital. I-I don't w-want be b-back i-in t-that p-promised me that y-you would never p-put me b-back there. I can't b-be used a-again."

Morgan could see the pain on Reid's face, he could see Reid's tears mixing with the rain that was hitting his face. Morgan shivered slightly as he felt the cold from the rain.

"Reid, we were just worried when we couldn't snap you out of your flashback, you wouldn't react to us. It was like you were locked inside your own mind. We would never ever put you into a mental hospital, we never wanted you to go the first time. We couldn't stop it. I didn't want to call the doctor, Rossi was just afraid. We all care about you so much and we only want what is best for you. We will never do something that you don't want us to do. Please Reid, just come home," Morgan said to Reid.

"I-I was r-raped and b-beaten in my own home, I-I c-can't ever go back there. I-I don't have a h-home anymore," Reid moaned softly before closing his eyes.

"You always have a home Reid, you have a home with the team," Morgan said. Morgan looked at Reid to see that he had closed his eyes. Morgan waited for a response but didn't get one. He realised that Reid had fallen asleep. Morgan quickly jumped to his feet, he carefully touched Reid's face and was shocked at how cold it was. Morgan already knew that Reid was going to feel sick for the next few days with a cold. Morgan scooped Reid into his arms, he still hated how light Reid was. Morgan quickly made his way into his car with Reid in his arms.

Morgan bent down and opened the passenger side door with difficulty, he placed Reid in the passenger seat. Morgan pushed the back of the seat down as far as it would go. Morgan ignored the rain soaking his t-shirt as he quickly made his way to the trunk of his car. He grabbed a bundle of blankets before slamming the trunk and ran to the passenger side door. He quickly covered Reid up with blankets, he didn't stop till Reid's entire body was wrapped within the comfort and warmth of the blankets.

Morgan quickly closed the door and made his way into the driving seat. Reid took one last look at Reid before he made his way down the road and back towards Rossi's house.

**Two hours later**

Morgan pulled into Rossi's driveway, he had been blasting the heater in the car since he had picked up Reid. His clothes were still slightly damp. The rain had stopped an hour ago. Morgan turned off the engine, he jumped slightly when he heard Garcia calling his name as she bolted out of the front door towards the car. Morgan quickly jumped out of the car and walked around to the passenger side door. He caught Garcia as he she tried to open the door.

"Garcia, he is sleeping. We need to get him out of his damp clothes and into a warm bed," Morgan told her calmly. Garcia looked at Morgan with confusion.

"Why are his clothes wet? He was in a car," Garcia asked as she tried to open the car door again, Morgan stopped her again.

"I found him sitting against a tree in the rain, he is having a difficult time right now. We need to get him inside and warm, he is definitely going to have a cold. Garcia, I need you to keep him calm when he wakes up. Can you do that for me?" Morgan asked her.

Garcia nodded and Morgan finally let her open the door. Garcia quickly opened the door and knelt down to check Reid, it broke her heart to see looking so frail again. She had hoped that he was finally on his way to a good place. Garcia ran her hand through Reid's hair. She wanted so much for her junior g-man to get better. She wanted Reid to be normal again, she wanted Reid to be like he was when he danced with her in Gideon's kitchen at the cabin.

She wanted him to be happy.

**One hour later**

Reid moaned slightly as he came awoke. Reid felt so comfortable as he felt a large cover wrapped around him. Reid opened his eyes and realised that he was back in his room at Rossi's. Reid remembered sitting in the cold rain, he remembered letting his skin turn to ice so he wouldn't feel anything.

Reid turned his head to the side and found Garcia staring at him. Reid smiled slightly at seeing her, he could never be angry at Garcia. He knew that she would never put him back into a mental hospital. Reid knew deep down that the team would not put him into a mental hospital but he knew a doctor would not give the a choice. He refused to see a doctor. Dr Green had put him away in hell. He was not letting a doctor try and fix him. He wanted to try and do it himself.

Reid didn't feel too well, his head was pounding and he felt exhausted.

"Hey Reid," Garcia smiled at him as she sat down on the bed next to him. Reid let a smiled spread across his face as Garcia ran her hand through his hair.

"How are you feeling?" Garcia asked. Reid decided he couldn't lie to Garcia.

"I d-don't feel w-well. Headache a-and I-I feel weak," Reid said in a small voice. Garcia gave him a small smile before she took Reid's four fingered hand and held it, she stroked her thumb over the back of it.

"Don't worry sweetheart, Garcy is going to make you all better again."

**Please review**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone, thank you the reviews. You are lovely reviewers. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review. Also sorry for short chapter!**

**Enjoy**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Two days later**

Reid felt awful as he sat in bed, his entire head felt foggy, his nose was blocked and he had a temperature. Reid hated feeling so ill but the pain was eased slightly by Garcia looking after him, he didn't have the energy to refuse her help. He hated keeping her away from life but he also loved having her around. He loved how happy she always was around him and how she always knew what would make him feel better. The rest of the team were away at a case, Garcia was working as well but she was able to do it remotely.

Reid barely paid attention to the television as it played Doctor Who. Garcia had sat him against a wall of soft and comfortable pillows. He enjoyed the feeling.

Garcia walked into the room with a tray, she placed it across Reid's knees before sitting in front of him. Reid felt his stomach churn slightly as he gazed at the food. He had barely been able to keep anything since his cold had kicked in. He also knew that he wasn't going to have a choice on whether he ate. Reid looked down and saw a bowl of steamy chicken soup, he picked up the spoon and scooped a spoonful.

"Careful Reid, blow on it first. It is hot," Garcia smiled at him. Reid nodded before he blew on it, he put the soup in his mouth and swallowed it. His stomach fought against the soup but he managed to keep it down.

"You still having trouble keeping food down?" Garcia asked.

"Y-Yeah," Reid admitted, he knew that lying to Garcia would do him no good, it wouldn't do him any good to lie to her.

"I put some crackers on your tray, eat one of them and it may help keep you from bringing up your food again. Are you feeling any better?"

"A-A little bit, everything s-still feel really f-foggy and I-I'm a little hot."

"You've always been hot Reid," Garcia joked playfully before she placed the back of her hand to his forehead. She frowned slightly at how hot Reid was. She knew she couldn't give him anymore medicine for a while. Garcia hated seeing Reid so congested and pained.

Garcia also knew that Reid's cold was helping Reid at the moment. He had not had a nightmare in two days, he was so congested and ill that his mind wasn't dwelling on the horrors that he had experienced. Garcia took her hand away from Reid's forehead and stroked it through his hair.

"I'm going to get you a cold pack to put on your forehead. Try and eat as much of that as you can while I'm in the kitchen," Garcia ordered in a soft motherly tone. Reid nodded gently before he grabbed a cracker and took a small bite.

Garcia quickly left the room and made her way to the kitchen, she opened a cupboard and pulled out a ice pack. She was about to crack it when her cellphone began to ring. Garcia grabbed her cellphone and answered it.

"Hello, goddess of all technology and nurse to baby genius,"Garcia said playfully. Garcia smiled as she heard Hotch laugh on the other end of the line.

"Hey Garcia, how is Reid?" Hotch asked.

"He has a temperature but nothing too high, he can't keep anything down and he feels awful. He hasn't had any nightmares, he has slept through the night for the last two days."

"That is great news about the nightmares. Just keep an eye on him Garcia, he is still fragile after the other day. I called you to ask about the suspect list and background checks," Hotch said.

"I already sent it five minutes ago. Anything else you need. I have a few minutes while Reid is eating."

"How are doing Garcia?" Hotch asked with concern.

"I'm fine Hotch. Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. You are doing a lot for Reid and sacrificing a lot for him. Does he know what happened with you and Kevin?"

Garcia sighed at the mention of Kevin.

"No and he isn't going to till he is ready. He will think it was his fault when it isn't. Kevin was jealous of me always looking after Reid. Kevin wanted things to move faster than I wanted and I couldn't stand his jealousy and controlling attitude," Garcia sighed. "Reid is my best friend, he is like a little brother to me and he is my family. Reid will always be there for me and I will always be there for him."

"As long as you are comfortable doing it, keep looking after him. Just keep doing what you are doing Garcia," Hotch said down the phone.

"Yes sir," Garcia laughed, she stopped laughing when she heard Reid being sick.

"Hotch, I have to go. Reid is throwing up."

**Three hours later**

Reid smiled as he sat on the bed with Garcia behind him, he felt safe and he barely even registered his cold as he watched television with Garcia. Garcia was stroking her hand through Reid's hair making Reid feel calm.

"Thank you f-for b-being there for m-me Garcy."

"Always," Garcia smiled as she stroked his hair.

** Please review**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone, I am so so so sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. I have had a rough and difficult few days and it has been hard for me to write. I am sorry for this and hope you can all forgive me. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, they are all amazing. Thank you!**

**I will be posting another update later tonight so look out for that. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own **

**Two days later**

Garcia watched happily as Reid slept, she knew that Reid was starting to feel better and that was all she wanted. She wanted him to be happy, healithy and comfortable. Garcia closed the door to Reid's room, she glanced back for one last look before closing the door properly. Garcia walked to the kitcehn where the team were all sat eating takeout food. They had been back a few hours from their latest case which had ended well.

"How is he doing?" Morgan asked.

"He is doing better, his cold is almost gone and he is sleeping. He should be fine in by tomorrow," Garcia smiled happily at them before taking a seat at the table with the team. Morgan passed her a box and chopsticks, she gave him a playful wink before grabbing her chopsticks and digging into the food.

"Any nightmares?" JJ questioned.

"He hasn't had any nightmares over the past few days with his cold, I think his mind was so focused on trying to make him feel better that it surpressed them. They are coming back though, I'm worried about him having such violent dreams," Garcia told the team.

"How bad are the nightmares?" Hotch enquired. Garcia sighed and put down her chopsticks.

"He had two last night, he was screaming for help. When I woke him up he was honest with me about what he had dreamt. He told me that he was dreaming about Jay Henson attacking him in his car. He told me that it wasn't only Jay Henson attacking him. Jacob Harris and Jason were there too. He is so scared when he wakes up," Garcia told them sadly. "I had to hold him till he fell asleep. The second nightmare he had was earlier this morning, he dreamt that we had all been hanged and he had been forced to watch us die."

"Oh my god," JJ gasped before she put down her food, her appetite disappearing.

"Is he still refusing to talk to a professional?" Rossi asked.

"Rossi, don't start up with this again," Morgan snapped angrily.

"I'm just saying that he could speak with my friend, we can't talk to him properly because we know him too well. We let our own emotions get in the way when talking to Reid about what he went through. We see horrific images and scenes everyday, we need to try and get him to speak to a professional. He can't handle what is going on and he isn't going to recover till he can learn to trust other people. I love him like a son, I want him to get better," Rossi defended.

"Rossi, he finds it hard to trust people because when he has they have betrayed him. He trusted Dr Swann and the guy attacked and stabbed him. He has trusted He-" Emily stopped, she took a small breath and continued. "He even trusted us to keep him safe and we failed to keep him out the mental hospital. The Reid we know is hanging on by a thread, we need to do what he wants, not what we want."

Emily turned and looked at Morgan.

"Morgan, he trusts you the most. I think that Morgan is the one that can help Reid get better. Morgan is the only person that can being Reid back from the brink," Emily said.

"I agree with Emily," Garcia said.

"I know he trusts me but I'm not sure I'm the right person to bring him back from the brink in his mind, I will be there for him. Do you really think I can bring him back?" Morgan asked with uncertainty in his voice. Garcia took Morgan's hand and held it, she stroked her thumb over the back of his hand and gave a smile that made Morgan's heart melt.

"Of course you can my sweet chocolate adonis, you are the sweetest and kindest man that I know. Reid trusts you better than any of us, he trusts you because you connect with him on a level that we can't. You will and can help him Morgan, you've helped all of us before because you are strong. Don't ever doubt your ability to be there for us," Garcia said kindly to him.

"I have some saved up vacation time. Reid could stay with me for a while if he wants, I have a good security system and my house is closer to the BAU. Do you think he would want that? Rossi, would you be okay if Reid moved out?" Morgan asked, he knew that the only way he could help Reid was by having Reid stay with him.

"It is up to Reid but if he is okay with living with you so am I. I haven't been able to help him properly, you have," Rossi said.

**Reid**

Reid jolted awake from his bed, his forehead dripping with sweat. Reid ripped the covers off himself and sat on the edge of the bed. Reid quickly lifted up his shirt and checked his stomach, he felt relief run through him when he saw no blood but stared at the scar on his stomach from where Dr Swann had stabbed him with a knife. Reid got to his feet and made his way outside, he still felt woozy and he wobbled slightly as he walked. Reid walked down the corridor, he stopped dead when he saw the team sitting at the table eating chinese food.

Reid felt sad when he saw how normal they looked sitting at the table.

How normal they looked without him to cause them hassle or pain.

**Please review**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone, sorry for delay with this chapter. Real life just keeps getting in the way. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, you are all fantastic and amazing. I have no idea what I did to deserve such amazing readers. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan got up from the table and decided that he was going to check on Reid. Morgan made his way down the corridor towards Reid's room. Morgan stopped dead when he turned the corner and saw Reid sitting against the wall with his knees to his chest. Morgan could see Reid was upset.

"Hey Reid, what's wrong?" Morgan asked with concern, Morgan gently walked to Reid's side and sat on the floor next to him and leaned against the wall. Reid brushed some hair from his face and looked up to Morgan, he bit his lip nervously before he started to talk.

"Y-You all look like a f-family out there. Y-you seem happy when I'm not a-around. I d-don't want to cause y-you all anymore trouble," Reid whispered.

"Reid, why would you think that? You know that you are part of the family, we were talking about you. You don't cause us trouble and you never have. We are happy when you are around. Reid you will always be family to us and we would never abandon you. Reid, I need to talk to you about a few things," Morgan said.

"W-what do you need t-to talk to me about?" Reid panicked slightly.

"Calm down, it is nothing bad. The team was talking with me and we have decided that you should move in with me till you feel more comfortable and ready to face the world. I have some vacation time saved and the team thinks that this is what would be best for you. You don't have to, it is up to you what you want to do. The choice is yours," Morgan explained.

"Have I done s-something wrong? Is R-Rossi angry at me? I can get a-a place of m-my own, I won't cause y-you any more t-trouble."

"Reid, Rossi isn't angry with you. You haven't done anything wrong. You won't speak with a professional about what you have been through and we don't want to force you to speak with a professional. It will be better if you stay with me because I understand what you have been through. I know that you wake up everyday wondering why you were hurt in such a personal and horrific way and that no matter how hard you try to forget what happened to you, you just can't. Reid, I want to help you get better and the best way to do that is for you to live with me. I can't keep driving here in the middle of the night, I can calm you down better if you are nearer. Are you up for having a new home?" Morgan said to Reid.

"I-I can't face talking with a-a s-stranger about what h-has happened to me. I c-can't trust anyone, I-I have trusted people b-before and I-I have been hurt b-by then...even almost ki-killed by them. I want t-to be normal again but it i-is just so hard. I'm tired of f-feeling so weak and I'm t-tired of feeling so useless. I-I'm not a baby, I-I shouldn't need y-you or the team t-to look after m-me," Reid sniffed before he started to cry, he pulled his knees up to his chest tighter.

"Reid. Hey Reid...shhhh. It's okay," Morgan said as he tried to calm Reid down, he put his arm around Reid and held brought Reid's head onto his shoulder. He felt Reid shake as Reid sobbed into his shoulder.

"You are not a baby Reid. You are a strong person, most people would have given up if they had gone through what you had to endure. Not everyone in the world is bad and I understand why you are so afraid of putting you trust in other people other than the team but you will have to trust other people eventually. You won't be able to get to normal if you don't. I know it is going to take time but you will get back to normal. You got back to normal after Jay Henson, you can do it again," Morgan said.

"Jay Henson d-didn't t-tie me to a b-bed and-" Reid began to say before stopping himself, his crying had stopped and replaced with small anger.

"Say it Reid. You need to talk about it, I know you told me about it before but the more you talk about the better you will feel. Its dangerous to keep it all in," Morgan urged Reid.

"Jay H-Henson didn't t-tie me a b-bed and make me w-want to kill m-myself. I-I really w-wanted to die after t-the attack, I d-didn't feel even human a-after he used me t-that way and t-there was so much pain. W-When I first t-tried to kill myself, I did it because I thought everything would be better that way. T-There would b-be no m-more pain or t-torture and the team could m-move on with their l-lives. I know t-that I was wrong to t-think like that but after Jacob a-attacked me in my apartment I wanted to die. J-Jacob even offered to do it," Reid gasped with his eyes open wide.

Morgan grabbed Reid by the shoulders with a tight grip.

"W-What did you say?" Morgan shouted angrily, he ignored the screeching of chairs that came from the kitchen.

"D-During the attack, after he shut the phone off, he put a k-knife to my wrist and asked m-me if I wanted h-him to f-finish what I n-never could," Reid whimpered gently. The rest of the team had come to the corridor, Morgan signalled them not to come any closer.

"What did you say Reid?" Morgan asked. Reid pressed him lips together.

"What did you say Reid?" Morgan shouted at him causing Reid to jump.

"I said yes!" Reid yelped. "I thought h-he was going to d-do it but t-then he just laughed in m-my face and p-put away the knife. He beat me harder a-after that."

"Reid, don't ever think like that ever again!" Morgan said as he brought Reid into a hug and held him tightly. Garcia quickly kneeled on the floor next to her two boys. Garcia ran her hand through Reid's causing Reid to come away from his hug with Morgan and go to Garcia. Garcia wrapped her arms around Reid and brought him into a soft embrace. Morgan gave her a thankful nod before he got to his feet and rushed outside.

"It's okay Reid. Shhh..." Garcia soothed.

**Please review**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone, I'm sorry for the delay again. I'm having a weird week, I keep going from tired to happy and it is messing with me a bit. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews , they are amazing and wonderful. They keep me going and they make me so happy. Thank you again.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**The next day**

Reid felt strange as he entered the Morgan's house, he wasn't used to Morgan's house and knew that it was going to take a few days before he was able to sleep properly. Reid stood in the middle of Morgan's living room.

Morgan walked through the door a few seconds later and saw Reid standing nervously in the middle of the living room. Morgan knew that it was going to take Reid a while to get comfortable and Morgan was ready to be there for Reid while he recovered. Morgan put down the bags he had been holding and went over to Reid. Morgan put his hand on Reid's shoulder, Reid jumped at Morgan's touch before Reid relaxed slightly.

"Hey, this is your home now. Make yourself comfortable. Let me show you to the room that you will be staying in," Morgan smiled before he began to guide Reid to his room. Morgan opened the door and led Reid into the room.

Reid looked around the room and smiled slightly as he saw that the room had been filled and decorated with his own stuff. Reid smiled more when he walked over to the bookshelf and trailed his fingers over the books on it. He instantly knew that they were his own books, they were the books that had been sitting his apartment that he had vowed never to return to. Reid carefully looked around the entire room and recognised items from his old room from his apartment.

"T-These are my t-things," Reid laughed softly before his eyes began to water.

"The team thought that it would be nice to bring some things from you apartment, all your books are here and we brought your clothes over. Reid, like I said before, this is your home. Are you okay with us bringing all the stuff here?" Morgan asked as he began to see Reid's eyes water. Reid nodded before letting out a small smile. Reid walked over to side of his bed to see a blue tardis model on it. He picked it up and found a note on the back of it. The note read:-

**_Smile my Junior g-man,_**

**_Garcia_**

"Why d-do you all care a-about me so m-much? I know t-that you say I'm p-part of the f-family but I've never k-known family to care this m-much," Reid said softly to Morgan as he put the tardis model down gently.

"Reid, we care about you because you are family to us, you always have been and always will be. Reid, there is no such thing as a perfect family and I know that it was only you and your mother growing up. You are like a son to Hotch and Rossi and they care about you so much. In my eyes you are my little brother and its my job to protect you because that is what big brothers do, they protect their little brother. Emily and JJ see you as a brother and they will always be there for you. Garcia is more difficult to explain," Morgan said.

"Why is Garcy m-more difficult t-to explain?" Reid asked confused.

"Garcia means a lot to both of us, that is why she is more difficult to label," Morgan explained. "Garcia isn't just like a sister to me, she is a lot more. She's my babygirl and I love her but in my own way. Tell me right now, what is Garcia to you?"

Reid didn't need to think, he already knew how much Garcy meant to him.

"S-She make m-me smile and she calms m-me down when I'm upset. I-I love her too but not in a r-romantic way, we have a special c-connection, we have ever since I-I was first k-kidnapped. She makes me feel safe a-and I-I'm never afraid around her b-because I know s-she will never hurt me. She is my G-Garcy," Reid said to Morgan.

"She's a special women to both of us," Morgan laughed gently.

"She is amazing i-in every s-single way," Reid smiled.

"Yes she is," Morgan agreed.

"Come on Reid, let's get something to eat."

**A few hours later**  
**Garcia**

Garcia let herself into Morgan's house with her spare key, she couldn't wait to see Reid. She had been worried all the time she had been at work about him. She had a bag full of goodies for Reid and Morgan, her two special men.

"Hello, it's babygirl," she said happily before using her foot to close the door. She took a few steps into the hallway before she jumped at the loud voice that filled the room.

"Reid, I swear you and your mario helper are cheating," Morgan laughed. Garcia walked to the living room and smiled when she saw that Reid and Morgan were each on WII board playing a game. Garcia let out an loud giggle as she watched Morgan do a little wiggle. Morgan quickly jumped off the board and paused the game. Reid also stepped down from his board and walked over to Garcia. Garcia instantly grabbed Reid and hugged him. She brought Reid away from her and looked at him with a smile on her face.

"I have goodies," she said happily before picking up her a large bag and putting it on the sofa.

"First thing though, pink or blue cupcakes," Garcia giggled as she opened up a box to reveal delicious looking cupcakes.

**Two hours later**

Garcia was happy as she sat on Morgan's living room floor with a glass of wine in her hand. She was estatic as she watched Reid laughing and smiling with Morgan. A small knock came at the door causing the laughter to stop.

"I'll get it," Garcia said before she got to her feet and walked to the front door. Garcia opened the door and felt her heart drop at who she saw.

"Kevin," Garcia gasped gently.

"I knew you would be here," Kevin slurred.

**Please review**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for all you amazing readers. I hope that you enjoy the chapter. **

**Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate them. Remember always feel free to tell me some feedback for the story. Thank you again for the reviews. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**Sorry chapter is so short but bit strained for time.**

**All mistakes are my own**

"Kevin, what the hell are you doing here? Have you been drinking?" Garcia said angrily, she hated Kevin at that moment ruining her night, she thought that Kevin was in the past now.

"I knew you would be-be here," Kevin slurred again. "You led me on, you were never in love with me. You-you spend all your time with Reid, you been s-screwing him."

"Kevin, you are drunk. Go home and we'll talk when you are sober enough to make sense. Reid is my friend and he has been through an ordeal, an ordeal most people wouldn't survive. We broke up because you were a controlling and jealous man. Go home," Garcia snapped back. Garcia winced as Kevin grabbed her wrist and began to pull her forward.

"Kevin, let me go!" Garcia yelled.

Kevin began to turn back to face Garcia when a fist collided with his face. Kevin fell to the floor, his hand releasing Garcia's wrist. Garcia whipped around and felt surprise at who she saw cradling their hand. She turned around to see Reid cradling his hand with Morgan just behind him.

"Reid!" Garcia gasped as she ran to Reid and held his hand. "Are you okay?"

"I-I'm f-fine. He was hurting y-you, the punch i-is worth the pain. Are you okay Garcy?"

"I'm fine," Garcia smiled at Reid gently before turning back to Kevin. She watched as Morgan hauled Kevin who now had a bloody nose, to his feet and began to march him down the driveway. Garcia turned her attention back to Reid, she knew that Morgan would take care of Kevin.

"Come on g-man, let's get some ice on that hand."

Garcia walked back into the house with one hand holding Reid's and her other arm around onto his shoulder.

**Ten minutes later**

**Reid**

Reid winced slightly as Garcia pressed the ice pack down. Reid had no regrets about punching Kevin but he felt guilty over the fact that Garcia and Kevin had split up because of him. A part inside of him felt incredibly happy at the fact he had summoned such courage. Reid didn't think that part of himself was still there, the part that fought to protect. The part of himself that was strong. It was still a small part but it was bigger than before.

Reid was just happy that Garcia was okay, he never wanted her to get hurt. Reid always promised himself that he would protect Garcia, he promised that he would protect her at all costs. Reid heard the door open turned around to see Morgan walking through the door.

"Kevin is in a taxi on his way back to his apartment," Morgan told Garcia before looking to Reid. "He also has a broken nose thanks to Reid's punching him."

"I broke his nose!" Reid said with shock. Morgan nodded before letting out a little laugh.

"I'm proud of you Reid, you protected my babygirl. I just wish I had been the one to hit him. How is the hand?" Morgan asked as he came to Garcia's side.

"It is bruised and swollen to hell and I want him to go to the hospital. Junior g-man here is refusing to go though," Garcia sighed.

"I-I don't want t-to go to the h-hospital, I-I have spent too much t-time in hospitals. L-Last time I was in hospital w-was after Jacob h-had attacked me," Reid said before putting his head down.

Morgan took the ice pack off Reid's hand and looked at it, he sighed and knew that Reid had probably broken his hand.

"Reid, look me in the eye and tell me that your hand doesn't hurt," Morgan said before lifting Reid's head up and looking him in the eye.

Reid bit his lip nervously knowing that Morgan was going to see straight through his lie.

"My h-hand doesn't hurt," Reid said, his voice shaking slightly.

"You are not a good liar. Come on Reid, we are going to get that hand an x-ray and I am not taking no for an answer. I can't kick your butt on the wii if your hand is busted."

"I-I'm fine, I-I don't want to go," Reid said loudly.

"I'll do you a deal," Garcia said before she leaned down and whispered into Reid's ear. Morgan watched as Reid let out a small smile, Garcia leaned away from Reid and put her hand on her hip.

"Do we have a deal?" Garcia smirked before putting her hand out. Reid used his good hand and shook her hand.

"Deal."

**Four hours later**

Reid sat in the car with brace now securing his hand. Morgan had been right, he had broken his hand. He knew he had broken it due to the way he had hit Kevin, he had not clenched his fist properly. Reid looked over to Garcia, he leaned forward and tapped her on the shoulder.

"I'm k-keeping you to t-the deal we made."

"A weekend of Star Trek and movies. A deal that I am more than happy to honour."

"G-Garcy, you are amazing," Reid smiled.

"Thanks Reid."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone, sorry for the delay again. Life is just hectic right now. Sorry again. **

**I am very nervous about how this chapter turned out and would love to hear feedback about it. I'm not used to writing for the characters below. **

**Thank you again for all the reviews, they were awesome as ever and I love you all for them. Thank you again.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Three days later**

Reid felt slightly scared as he sat in Morgan's house alone, Morgan had had to pop out to the store for some groceries and supplies. Reid was on the window ledge peeking out Morgan's front window, being alone was something that he didn't like. Reid heart jumped when he saw a car pull up outside Morgan's house, Reid didn't recognise the car and quickly sat on the floor before he could be seen. Reid sat against the wall with his knees pulled up tightly to his chest. He listened intently as footsteps made their way to the door. He froze as someone knocked on the door.

Reid could make out what the visitors were saying, he knew that there was something familiar about the voices though, he just couldn't place them. Reid heard a rustle before the door was unlocked.

Reid quickly crawled behind the sofa as he heard the the door creak open, his fear overwhelming him. He ignored the pain running through his hand. Reid felt confusion mix with his fear as he heard a group of female voices.

"I told you I had a spare key," a woman said happily. Reid didn't recognise the voice completely but he knew he had heard it before.

"I can't wake to surprise Derek, it's been too long since we have seen him Mum," another female voice spoke.

"You know how busy he gets Desiree, Penelope told me that he had some vacation days coming up when I last spoke to her. This is the best time to pay him a visit, I haven't spoken with him for a few weeks. I hope everything is okay," a more mature female voice came.

Reid took in a deep breath and leaned around the sofa cautiously and risked a glance at the new visitors, he knew deep down that the women were not a threat. Reid looked around the corner and recognised the women immediately, he recognised them as Morgan's mother and his sisters. Reid whipped back when the front door opened again.

**Morgan**

"What the hell?" Morgan voice came in surprise.

"Morgan!" the group of women squealed happily.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Morgan said, his voice still full of surprise.

"I have a spare key, you gave it to me ages ago, I almost forgot I had it," Sarah said happily.

"It is great to see you all. So Reid didn't let you in?" Morgan asked.

"No, we didn't even know Reid was here sweetheart," Fran said to her son.

Morgan quickly went into the kitchen and looked around before he walked into the living room, he stopped when he saw Reid sat behind the sofa nervously biting his lower lip.

"Hey Reid, you okay man?" Morgan asked.

"I didn't s-see them a-at first, I h-heard the door u-unlock and hid," Reid smiled back sadly.

"I didn't know that they were coming Reid, I'm sorry that they scared you," Morgan said.

"I'm g-gonna go to m-my room," Reid mumbled before quickly getting to his feet and running to his room. Morgan let out a small sigh before turning back to face his family.

"Is he alright?" Fran asked.

"I'm glad you are here Mum, I need to ask you a few things. He is having a rough time and I don't know how to handle it well," Morgan said before walking over to his mother and giving her hug. Morgan felt a rush of warmth in his heart as he hugged his mother.

**One hour later - Reid**

Reid lifted his head up from the book that he was reading when he heard a small knock at his door.

"C-Come in," Reid called. Reid thought Morgan was the one behind the door but was surprised when Reid saw Morgan's mother Fran come through his door with a glass of water and two bottles that Reid recognised as his medication.

"Hello Spencer," Fran smiled gently as she sat on the edge of Reid's bed. Reid wasn't scared of her, she had a calming sense around her which Reid liked.

"H-Hello," Reid said nervously as he put his book down. "Where is M-Morgan?

"He is currently being the centre of attention with his two sisters, it has been a while since we have seen Derek," Fran said before putting down the glass and popping open one of Reid's medication bottles. "Derek told me that it was time to take your medicine. Reid nodded and took his pills from Fran. Reid put both of the pills in his mouth before Fran handed him the glass of water. Reid gulped the glass down till it was empty. Reid put the glass on his bedside table, he quickly hid his unbraced hand. He didn't want Morgan's mother to see his missing finger.

"T-Thank you," Reid said.

"Spencer, Derek already told me about your hand, you don't have to hide it. Your hand is nothing to be ashamed about. Derek wanted me to come in here and talk to you."

Spencer suddenly became more alert.

"I know my h-hand isn't anything t-to be a-ashamed off, some people j-just get scared from it. W-What do you need to talk to me about?"

"Derek is just worried that he isn't doing well, he always worries that he isn't doing enough. Spencer, I need to ask you this because Derek is worried about it and it hurts me to see my son worried. Do you feel that Derek hasn't protected you?" Fran asked nervously.

Reid jumped off the bed causing Fran to get to her feet quickly. Reid ran his uninjured hand through his hair in fustration.

"How can he think that?" Reid said in shock. "M-Morgan protects me, he t-tried to p-protect me e-even when I was trying t-to push e-everyone away. H-He is only one t-that understands and h-he never gives u-up on me. H-He saved m-me when Jacob was g-going-."

Reid stopped himself, he didn't want Fran to know about that. Reid took a deep breath and continued.

"He p-protects me and h-he always has. He's m-my big brother."

Fran felt tears in her eyes at hearing Reid's word. Fran walked over to Reid and enveloped him a hug. Reid tensed at first before he wrapped his arms around Fran carefully. Reid felt strange hugging Morgan's mother but he felt warmth in his heart, a warmth that only a mother could give. Reid looked up to see Morgan looking back at him. Morgan gave Reid a small smile.

Reid knew then that he had answered Morgan's question.

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	15. Chapter 15

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter. Okay so this popped into my head and I wanted to throw it into the fanfic. It focuses on the fact that Reid's past has been catching up with him and haunting him, what if Morgan's past came back to hurt Reid? **

**I am really nervous about this chapter and would appreciate feedback. **

**Thank you for the reviews. They are awesome, they make me smile and I literally do a happy dance when I see them.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**A few hours later**

Reid sat nervously on the sofa as he sat down with Morgan, Garcia and Morgan's family to watch a movie. Reid became less nervous when Garcia came and sat next to him, she took Reid's unbraced hand and held it gently to reassure him. Reid watched as Morgan was teased by his sisters. Reid was confused when Fran sat next to him, he had expected her to sit with Morgan. Morgan gave a small smile at his mother and Reid knew immediately that this had been planned.

"Everyone comfortable and ready," Garcia giggled happily as she grabbed the remote for the dvd.

**One hour later - Morgan**

Morgan was enjoying himself as he sat with his family laughing at the antics, he took a brief glance at Reid and noticed that Reid had fallen asleep against his mother, he noticed that his mother had put her hand around Reid to comfort him.

"Is he okay?" Morgan whispered causing Desiree and Sarah to both look round at Reid.

"He's fine, I think that he is just tired," Fran whispered back. Reid moved for a moment causing everyone to freeze but settled again into a slumber. Morgan decided to put Reid in bed, he knew that the sofa wasn't the most comfortable place to fall asleep on. Morgan gently got up from his seat and walked over to Reid, in one swift gentle motion he picked Reid up and began to make his way to Reid's bedroom. Garcia was in front of him within seconds and opened Reid's door. Morgan carefully placed Reid into the bed and covered him up while Garcia gave Reid a kiss on the forehead.

"How has he been doing?" Garcia whispered to Morgan as they made their way out of the room. Morgan left the door open a crack before making his way back to his family with Garcia at his side.

"He has been doing okay. He got spooked by my family using their spare key to get into the house, he hid behind the couch and was scared to hell when I found him. I think that it is going to be a while before he is ready to live on his own and a long time before he is ready to return to work. Come on lets get back to movie," Morgan said.

**One hour later**

Morgan was putting away some dishes before his cellphone started to ring, he quickly pulled it out of his pocket and answered the call.

"Hello."

"Morgan, I have some bad news," Hotch's voice came down the phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Carl Buford escaped jail two days ago."

Morgan's heart stopped at hearing the name of the man that had made his life a living hell, the name of the man that had made him feel disgusting as a child.

"How the hell did he get out?" Morgan growled angrily.

"He was in the hospital wing and managed to attack a nurse. He used their identification card to get through all the doors. Morgan he may be coming after you and your family, they didn't inform us till now because they didn't want the press getting wind of an escaped convict. I want you and your family in protective custody now."

Morgan felt undescribable fear as he thought about Carl Buford coming after his family, he knew that Carl Buford was the one man that made him feel defenseless.

"I'll get my family to the BAU," Morgan said before he slammed his phone shut. He took a few deep breaths before he made his back to his family and Garcia.

"Derek, what's wrong?" Fran asked. Morgan quickly grabbed Garcia's key's and put them into Garcia's hands. He knew that Garcia knew something was wrong.

"Garcia, I need you to take my mum and sisters to the BAU. Don't argue or anything, just go straight there," Morgan ordered before he ushered his family out of the house.

"Morgan, what's wrong? What about Reid?" Garcia asked frantically.

Morgan walked forward and grabbed shoulders.

"Carl Buford escaped prison two days ago and he may be coming after me and my family. Garcia just take them to the BAU. I'll be there with you soon with Reid."

Garcia nodded in shock before she ran to her car and ushered Fran, Sarah and Desiree into the car. Morgan watched as Garcia drove out of the driveway. He rushed back inside to get Reid.

**Reid - Ten minutes earlier**

Reid felt a soft cold breeze hit his face, he sluggishly opened his eyes to see what had awoken him from his peaceful slumber. Reid awakened to see a man that he knew was not supposed to be there. Reid tried to call out but found a hand over his mouth blocking his cry for help.

"I guess you know who I am," Carl smirked before bringing a gun into Reid's view. "You will do exactly what I say or I will kill you. Derek has to learn the price for ruining my life."

**Morgan - Now**

Morgan rushed into down the hall into Reid's room, he opened the door to find Carl Buford standing by the bed with a gun pointing straight at him. Morgan also saw that his best friend was missing, Reid was missing and he had no idea what the sick bastard in front of him had done with him.

"Where is he?" Morgan tried to say strongly, hated when he heard the slight quiver in his voice.

"Hello Derek. Do you know how difficult life has been since I was sent to that hellhole of a prison? You couldn't keep your mouth shut and after everything I did for you," Carl said with anger in his voice.

"You deserve to be in prison after what you did to them kids, after what you did to me. You did nothing for me, you made me feel like I was digusting. You are a monster. Now tell me where Reid is you son of a bitch?" Morgan yelled at Carl.

Morgan watched as Carl made his way to the closet, Carl kept the gun aimed at Morgan. Carl opened the closet door and reached inside the closet and pulled Reid out. Morgan took a step forward at the sight of his friend gagged and bound. Reid had his hands bound behind his back by a scarf and his legs had been bound with another piece of fabric. Morgan regretted his step forward when Carl pointed the gun at Reid.

"Don't hurt him, please don't hurt him."

"You ruined my life Derek, why shouldn't I take away things that make you happy in life?" Carl spat at Morgan before putting his foot on Reid's broken hand and pressing down. Reid screamed into his gag, Morgan could see the tears running running down Reid's cheeks. Carl removed his voice reducing Reid's moaning to small whimpers.

"I came here for revenge Derek, I am going to get my revenge."

**Please review**


	16. Chapter 16

**Holy crap on a cracker, thank you all so much for the reviews, I never expected such a response from you all with the last chapter. Thank you all so much for the reviews, they were amazing and I loved them all. Thank you!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid fought against the memories that were trying to overcome him as he laid on the floor watching the horror in front of him. He fought against the memories of Jay taping his hands behind his back, he fought against the memories of being restrained with sharp wire. He struggled with the memories of Jacob Harris. Reid tried to ignore the pain of his hand, it hurt so much but he knew he had to focus on Morgan.

He could bear seeing Morgan looking so scared. Reid knew that this man was the reason why Morgan took so long to trust people. He knew that Carl Buford was the reason that Morgan feared remembering his childhood.

"You seem to care a lot about what happens to you friend here," Carl observed before leaning down next to Reid, gun still firmly pointed at Morgan, and grabbed a fistful of Reid's hair and yanking Reid's head up. Reid moaned at the pain but tried to focus on the rope tying his hands together. He knew the scarf was flimsy, he just needed time to get out of it. Reid gritted his teeth as he began to try and get out of the scarf bound round his wrists. He ignored the pain, he had to help Morgan. He couldn't watch Morgan be in pain anymore, not after everything Morgan had done for him.

"Leave him alone Buford, he has done nothing wrong and has nothing to do with this. Don't hurt him anymore," Morgan pleaded. Carl dropped Reid's head harshly. Reid looked into Morgan's eyes and could tell that Morgan was scared.

"This is private matter Derek, why don't we move to the living area?" Carl said before walking forward slightly. Morgan backed out of the room at the same pace that Carl walked forward. Reid could do nothing but watch Morgan and Carl leave the room. Reid focuses on the scarf and used his good hand to try and loosen the scarf. Reid tried and tried for a few minutes when it finally happened. With one last tug, the scarf loosened from around his wrists allowing him to bring his arms to his front. He cradled his braced broken hand for a few seconds before he focused his thoughts.

'I have to help Morgan, I have to save him' Reid thought.

Reid quickly untied his legs before ripping the gag from his around his mouth. Reid swayed for a moment as he got to his feet but steadied himself quickly. Reid took two steps forward but stopped frozen when a gunshot echoed through the house. Reid ran to the door and open it quickly, he stared down the hallway and saw Morgan on the floor clutching his leg in pain with Carl Buford standing in front of him.

Reid watched as Carl aimed the gun at Morgan's head.

Reid started to run as fast as he could towards Buford, he didn't care at the moment if he got hurt and he didn't care if he died. He had to save Morgan, he had to save his big brother.

**Morgan**

Morgan gritted his teeth and hissed in pain as he held his hand to his thigh, he could feel the blood running through his fingers.

"Goodbye Derek, don't worry I'll kill you friend too so you won't be alone," Carl said before aiming the gun at Morgan's head. Morgan looked and felt a dread fill his heart. He knew he was about to die but he couldn't accept the fact that Reid was going to die with him. It had been his job to protect Reid and he had failed him, he had failed him again.

"No!" Reid's voice screamed. Morgan watched as Carl moved the gun away. Morgan watched as Reid tackled Carl to the ground, the gun slid near Morgan. Morgan shuffled forward painfully, his eyes constantly watching Carl and Reid struggle with each other.

**Reid**

Reid felt Carl grab his hair and smash his head into the floor. Reid was stunned for a moment but managed to keep himself awake and concious. Reid rolled onto his back and smashed his foot into Carl's face. Carl yelped in pain as he fell backwards, Reid lunged forward and punched Carl in the face with his good hand making sure he made a proper fist. Reid punched him two more times before Carl lunged at him and tackled him back to the ground. Reid face whipped to the side as Carl punched him in the face. Reid felt his head ring out with pain before two hands wrapped around his throat and began to squeeze.

He struggled to breath as Carl strangled him, he hit his hands against Carl but his efforts made no difference.

"Go to hell Carl!" Morgan screamed before a gunshot pierced the air. Reid watched as a bullet hit Buford in the head, blood spattered him.

Reid gasped in air as he felt Carl's hands loosen from around his throat. Reid grunted as he pushed Carl's body off of himself and onto the floor. Reid turned his head, ignoring the wet feeling of blood trickling down his forehead to see Morgan leaning against the wall with gun in his hand. Reid crawled over to Morgan, shaking away the fuzzy feeling that tried to consume him.

"A-Are you o-okay?" Reid asked as he looked at Morgan's leg, Reid put his hand on the wound and applied pressure. Morgan groaned before answering Reid.

"I-I'm fine," Morgan said painfully. "I'm fine thanks to you."

"I couldn't let h-him h-hurt you, I-I couldn't let h-him hurt my big brother," Reid smiled gently.

"Thank you Reid, thank you for saving me. I'm just happy the sick bastard is dead now."

"I'm just h-happy that you a-are alive, I-I'm happy that you a-are safe."


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey everyone, so feel free to bust a cap in my ass (bit hyper so excuse the words) with Reid's revolver for having such a late update. I'm really sorry and I hope that you can forgive me.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, they are great and amazing as always.**

**Reid is going to be getting stronger now and we will be seeing the old Reid and the new Reid personalities finding a balance. Don't worry, there will be some gentle whump in there so don't worry.**

**Italic is dream**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat patiently as the doctor rebraced his hand and checked him over, the cut on his head had already been stitched up and his forehead now had a small square bandage over the stitches. Reid knew that he had a black eye and a bruises around his neck but he didn't care, all he wanted to do was go and see how Morgan was doing. He knew that Morgan was out of surgery, his doctors were just being overly thorough.

"You have a mild concussion Spencer and I want you to keep your hand rested," the doctor smiled at him.

"Can I go? I-I want t-to see my f-friend Morgan," Reid said as he gently jumped off the bed, he swayed slightly and felt the doctor hold his arm to steady him.

"Woah..easy there Spencer," the doctor said gently. "I was going to send you home but I think I should keep you here under observation."

"No, I want t-to see my f-friend. I have t-to see him," Reid argued back as he steadied himself.

"I don't think so Spencer, you are staying here."

"H-How about I stay at t-the hospital but I stay with m-my friend. W-would that be acceptable?" Reid asked hoping that the doctor would agree with him. The doctor gave Reid one last look before letting out a small sigh.

"The moment you have any signs of pain, dizziness or blackouts you are to find a nurse immediately, do you understand?" the doctor bossed Reid.

"I-I understand."

**Morgan**

Morgan groaned as he awoke, he looked around and found Garcia smiling at him, her smile making everything that had happened to him back at house go to the back of his mind. He focused on her bright blonde hair and way her eyes sparkled when she smiled.

"Hey babygirl," Morgan smiled before he pushed himself up to sit. He winced at the pain in his leg but he ignored it.

"Hey, how is my chocolate adonis?"

"He is fine and a lot better now that you are here," Morgan laughed gently. Morgan was about to continue talking when the door opened slightly and Reid's head popped around it.

"C-Can I come in?" Reid asked. Garcia got to her feet and pulled Reid into the room at lightning speed. Reid was surprised when Garcia brought him into a hug and squeezed him tightly, he returned the hug before looking over to see Morgan smiling. Reid withdrew from the hug and made his way to sit on the chair near Morgan's bed. Morgan looked at Reid and felt guilt rush over him as he saw the bruises around Reid's throat, the black eye that was slightly swollen.

"I-I'm okay Morgan, I have to stay h-here for the n-night b-but they are letting me stay w-with you," Reid smiled at Morgan.

"Reid, you don't have stay here with me. I'll be fine," Morgan insisted even though deep down all he wanted was for Reid to stay, he wasn't going to be that selfish, he knew that Reid needed to have a proper nights rest and he couldn't do that if he was sat in a chair all night.

"I w-want to stay, you did it for m-me when I was at-attacked. Y-You w-would be around w-when I was in h-hospital the first time and y-you t-take care of me now. It's my t-turn to take care of you now."

"I'm staying as well, I'm not leaving my two wonderful and protective boys alone," Garcia said happily.

"Garcia-" Morgan and Reid began to argue in unison.

"Don't 'Garcia' me you two, besides I want to make sure you two are fine and who else is going to eat my famous cupcakes," Garcia said before producing a small pink box.

"Y-You have cupcakes," Reid said happily, almost as if his inner child had taken over.

"Help yourself," Garcia giggled slightly. Reid immediately opened the box and smiled as he picked up a cupcake, he took a large bite of it before letting out a small moan. Morgan also picked up a cupcake and began to devour it.

"G-Garcy, you are the b-best," Reid said as he took another bite out of his cupcake, all the trauma he had suffered locked at the back of his mind at the goodness he was surrounded by.

"Yes, she certainly is," Morgan said. Garcia blushed slighly before leaning over and giving Morgan a kiss on his cheek.

**Later that night - Reid**

_Reid found himself laying on a bed unable to move, he found himself completely paralyzed on the bed. Fear engulfed his entire mind and being when he saw Jacob Harris and Jay Henson come to stand at each side of him. Reid's eyes widened as he watched Jay bring out a knife. Reid knew that he was dreaming._

_"Hello Reid, are you ready for another game?" Jay laughed before placing the knife at Reid's cheek and making a small slice._

_"I can't wait to have another piece of you, would you like that crazy?" Jacob laughed before caressing Reid's cheek._

_Reid didn't know what he was feeling as he stared up at the two men that had been the beginning and end of his brutal torture. Jay had started everything that night when he had kidnapped him and Jacob was the reason why he was afraid of everyone around him, the reason why he knew that he could never feel comfortable being with another person in an intimate way._

_He looked up at the two men and realised something he knew he should have known earlier._

_"You can't hurt me anymore," Reid said. The two men frowned at the statement._

_"Of course we can crazy, you should always be careful of who is standing behind you. Maybe I need to teach you a lesson," Jacob said angrily before jumping on the bed and straddling the paralyzed Reid. He put his hand to Reid's belt buckle and tugged on it as he tried to unbuckle the belt. He continued to pull but the belt buckle would not move._

_Reid began to laugh gently before the laugh grew louder._

_"Morgan doesn't have to be scared anymore," Reid laughed hysterically as he found himself finally able to move, he looked at Jay and Jacon to find that they were unable to move. Reid carefully slid off the bed, still laughing at realisation that had struck his mind._

_"You sick bastards can't hurt me anymore because you are dead! Morgan killed Carl Buford, he killed his nightmare and he doesn't have to be afraid anymore. Morgan killed you Jacob, I don't know why I'm still so afraid of you, I hate you because you took my innocence when you raped me, you fucked me like I was nothing!" Reid shouted angrily with the occasional laugh spilling into his voice. "Morgan shot and killed you, I don't have to be afraid of you anymore."_

_Reid turned to Jay knowing that he was finally going to have to confront what had happened when Jay had kidnapped him after he had escaped the hospital._

_"I shouldn't have to fear you either, you ruined my life and you ruined any chance of me ever having a normal trouble-free life but I know you are dead. I killed you myself and I'll be honest, I was happy that I killed you because you deserved it, you deserved to die. You begged me to stop but you never stopped when I begged you to stop. I didn't stop because I didn't want to."_

_Reid instantly felt better as he finally admitted how he had truly felt about killing Jay Henson. Reid let out a small laugh before letting out a very long and relaxing breath._

_"I'm not afraid of you anymore because you are dead, you are dead and you are nothing but ghosts in my memories."_

Reid jerked in his chair as he woke up, he realised his breathing was heavy, he looked around the room and noticed Morgan was staring at him with worry in his eyes. Reid relaxed in the chair he had fallen asleep in and took a deep breath. He knew feep down that he felt as if a huge weight had been lifted of him. He looked over to the chair on the other side of Morgan's bed and found Garcia asleep with knitting in her lap

"You okay pretty boy?" Morgan asked.

"I'm f-fine, I just realised s-something though. I r-realised it a-after you killed C-carl Buford," Reid said gently to Morgan. Morgan looked surprised.

"What did you realise?"

"I-I realised t-that I shouldn't be a-afraid of ghosts because t-they can't hurt m-me."

**Please review**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter. I was meant to post this yesterday but I was watching the opening ceremony for the Olympics, I'm British so it was kind of a must watch. **

**Thank you for the reviews, you are all super amazing and I can't thank you enough for sticking with this fanfic for so long. Thank you again. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Three days later**

Reid opened the door to Morgan's house with his good hand, he opened it wide as Morgan hobbled in using crutches. Garcia was behind Morgan, watching him intently in case he fell back. Morgan wobbled over to the sofa and collapsed into it with his leg out in front of him. Garcia quicky placed a few colourful bags on the floor before walking over to Morgan.

"I'm feel so guilty for not being able to stay, I have to use my mystical powers for the team and fill in till they find a new technical analyst," Garcia sighed unhappily. Kevin had left his position and moved to another department elsewhere, Garcia was happy that she didn't have to see him every day.

"Garcia, we will be fine. Go to work and help the team, they are two members down and need all the help they can get. They need your mystical powers, we can wait for them," Morgan smiled at her. Garcia giggled slightly before leaning down and giving Morgan a kiss on his cheek and giving him a small hug.

"D-Don't worry Garcy, I-I'll look after h-him," Reid spoke up from near the door. Garcia walked over to Reid and put her on his cheek.

"I know you will but I also want you to take care of yourself as well. I have to go but I will be back as soo as I can, I have brought supplies and they are in the colourful bags. Bye my lovelies," Garcia said to them before giving Reid a quick kiss on his cheek and going out of the door. Reid closed the door behind her before walking into the living room to see Morgan trying reach for his phone on the table. Reid quickly rushed over to the phone and gave it to Morgan.

"You should swing around so you are lying on the sofa, it will help your leg fill better. Trust me I know," Reid smiled sadly. Morgan decided to follow Reid's advice, he turned himself around so that his back was against the arm rest and his legs laying on the sofa, he winced slightly but found the pain decreasing once he had settled.

"That does feel much more comfortable," Morgan said before he relaxed further into the sofa.

"D-Do you need anything? A-A drink maybe," Reid asked.

"Reid, you look exhausted and you have barely slept since you told me about your dream, go and get some sleep. I can hobble around and get something if I need it," Morgan said as he observed the dark circles under Reid's eyes, he knew that Reid had been drinking coffee and only taking small naps over the last three days. Morgan was happy that Reid had confronted his fears but he also knew that Reid partially feared the new revelation.

Morgan still knew though that Reid was doing better, his nightmares were less frequent since his dream and he seemed to be looking over his shoulder less and less.

"I'm f-fine, I-I want to help y-you. You have h-helped me s-so much. It's my turn to h-help you."

"Reid, I was shot in the leg, it hurts but it will only take a small amount of time to heal. You have been brutally tortured and raped. You need help because what you went through is something that not many people could survive. You don't need to worry about helping me Reid, I'll be fine. You need to focus on getting better and on getting some sleep," Morgan said to Reid in a gentle voice.

Morgan noticed that Reid visibly tensed at mention of his rape. It was clear to Morgan that the memories of his his attacks still affected him.

"A-At least let me g-get you something b-before I go to sleep," Reid breathed out as he tried to calm his nerves. Morgan sighed knowing that Reid wasn't going to sleep till he had gotten something for him.

"I'm a bit thirsty, I'd love a soda," Morgan said even though he was laced with guilt for asking Reid.

Reid let out a small smile before he rushed to the kitchen and grabbed a soda. Reid returned to Morgan and gave him the soda.

"Thanks Reid." Morgan thanked before a question came into his mind. A question he wasn't sure about asking.

Reid sat down on the other sofa that was across from Morgan and yawned quietly as he leaned against sofa.

"Reid, can I ask you something?" Morgan asked.

"Y-Yeah, anything."

"How did Carl get you from your bed?" Morgan asked carefully. Reid sat up a little straighter before brushing a hand through his hair.

"I-I woke up and I saw h-him there, I t-tried to call out but h-he put his hand over m-my mouth and told me n-not to make a sound or he would shoot me. I-I was scared and I didn't w-want you or your family to get help. He forced me into the closet w-where he pushed me onto my s-stomach and sat on my legs as he t-tied my hands and then he gagged m-me. I'm sorry I-I should have w-warned you, I sh-should have t-tried to call out," Reid explained before cradling his hand, the pain of Carl Buford stepping on it coming back into his mind.

"I'm sorry he did that to you. I'm really sorry about everything that happened."

"Morgan, it wasn't y-your fault s-so stop apologising. L-Let's just focus on t-the future. I-I'm sick of looking b-back and being a-afraid, t-the people that hurt me are dead. I-I know I don't h-have to be scared of t-them anymore," Reid said strongly making Morgan smile at how strong Reid had become in the last few days.

"No looking into the past, let's just focus on the future," Morgan agreed.

"D-Do you want to see i-if Garcia l-left some c-cupcakes in the bags?" Reid suggested as he looked over to the bags.

"Definitely," Morgan chuckled. Reid laughed as well before making his way over to the bags and pulling them over to the sofa with his uninjured hand. Reid rummaged through the bags before pulling a small pink box.

"Success!" Reid laughed happily as if his entire heart was in the laugh. A happy laugh meant a happy heart.

Morgan realised then and there that Reid had not laughed like that in long time. It was a laugh that carried hope.

**I realise that last sentence is a tad corny but I like it there.**

**Please review and keep reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey everyone, sorry for the delay but I have one finger strapped up on one hand and two strapped up on the other. It's a bit difficult to type so please forgive the delay.**

**Thank you for the reviews! They are brilliant and I cherish each and every single one of them. Thank you again.**

**Okay so this primarily a Morgan and Garcia chapter and I want to give a warning that halfway through the next chapter I will be time jumping.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**A few hours later**

Morgan watched as Reid slept peacefully on the sofa across from him, he had expected Reid to fall asleep as they started watching the movie. Morgan couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the fact that Reid's mouth was opening slightly. A small noise came from the front door causing Morgan to go on full alert, he soon calmed when he saw Garcia blonde hair and the alice band with a now in it. Garcia walk tiredly into the room causing Morgan to point to Reid and put a finger to his lips. Garcia looked at Reid and Morgan watched as he eyes softened as if she was watching a kitten sleep.

"He looks so cute," Garcia whispered before she went over to Morgan and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Morgan noticed the small dark circles under her eyes and didn't like seeing them.

"Babygirl, you look exhausted. You don't need keep looking after us so much, you need to look after yourself," Morgan said.

"I'm fine Morgan, the team solved the cases but it was a rough one. I like coming here and looking after you both," Garcia smiled before she let her gaze fall upon the bags of goodies she had left. "I see you and Reid got into my goody bags."

"The cupcakes were lovely. Do you know that Reid laughed when he found them? It wasn't a fake laugh, it was a laugh that came from his heart," Morgan said. Garcia face lit up with joy but there was a small spark of disappointment in her eyes.

"I can't believe that I missed that," Garcia pouted before looking over to Reid. "He looks so sweet and innocent. It still amazes me that he is so together after everything he has been through, I know he is still having trouble but he is so much better."

"He is getting because of you babygirl," Morgan told her before he turned slightly and began to massage her shoulders, Garcia sat on the floor against the sofa and let Morgan massage her shoulder.

"That is wonderful," Garcia sighed as she felt the stress of her day melt away at the hands of her chocolate adonis.

"Anything for my babygirl," Morgan chuckled slightly.

**An hour later**

Garcia sat with Morgan watching a movie on the television although they were barely attention to it, they had been talking to each other and helping each other. They stopped talking when they heard a small moan come from the sofa. They looked at him with worry in their eyes.

"Nooooo!" Reid moaned in his sleep as his face contorted into one of pain. "P-Please don't put me a-away a-again."

Garcia rushed over to Reid and felt her heart hurt seeing him pain again.

"He's talking in his sleep," Morgan sighed unhappily, he wanted Reid to get a peaceful sleep, it seemed that life wasn't ready to let Reid get any rest.

"Morgan p-please don't let them t-take me, p-please," Reid began to beg in his sleep.

Garcia leaned forward and began to run her hand through Reid's hair and making calming noises.

"Shh...you are not going anywhere sweetheart. Calm down, Morgan is going to keep you safe, we both are," Garcia said gently as she continued to stroke her hand through his hair.

Reid moaned slightly again but settled into the pillow he had been sleeping on. Reid relaxed and began to breathe more gently, his mind returning to a peaceful slumber. Garcia also let out a breath of relief as she continued to run her hand through his soft hair.

"Garcia, that was amazing," Morgan said in disbelief. He had never known Reid stay asleep while having a nightmare.

"He just needs to know that we are here, he just needed know that his friends are here for him," Garcia smiled sadly. "He is fine now."

"That mental hospital has caused him so much pain, all I want to do is find Dr Greene and beat the crap out of him for leaving Reid in that hell-hole. It has taken so much from him," Morgan said.

"I used to watch him on the CCTV cameras, just to know that he was still alive. One of the reasons I stay with him all the time is because I need to know he safe. I've seen him die twice and I can't ever see that again. I can't sleep properly unless I know he is fine because everytime I close my eyes I see Jay Henson kicking the chair from underneath him. I see Reid struggling for air before dying," Garcia said, her voice shaking at the memory.

"Babygirl, I'm so sorry you had to see that. Reid is safe now, he isn't going to get hurt anymore. I promise you that."

"Morgan, the world isn't safe. I know because I've experienced it's darkness twice now. I just like staying with him and knowing that he is okay because I've been with him while a man tortured him. He was so scared. I like being the person that comforts him when he gets frightened. It makes me feel less guilt."

Morgan looked at her with confusion. "Garcia, you have nothing to feel guilty for."

"He went with the puzzle man because he was protecting me. He let a man torture him and beat him with a hammer so that I wouldn't get hurt. It was my fault that he almost died in that basement," Garcia sniffed before wiping tears away from her eyes.

"D-Don't feel guilty," Reid whispered to Garcia before opening his eyes.

**Please review**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everyone, here is the next lovely chapter for you all. Okay so please don't be mad at me but updates are going to be every two days now. I hope that is okay.**

**Thank you for the reviews, they were amazing and I love reading each and every one of them. I'm so happy that you liked the last chapter and even happier you liked the Garcia/Morgan/Reid friendship.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**Italic is the past**

**All mistakes are my own**

"Garcia, please d-don't feel g-guilty. D-don't ever feel that w-way. I-I didn't want you to get h-hurt, he was going t-to hurt us b-both. I-I made the deal so h-he wouldn't hurt y-you because I care about y-you. You have always b-been there f-for me, I can't t-thank you enough for t-that. D-Don't feel guilty, a-angels like you s-should never feel guilt," Reid smiled gently at her.

"Oh Reid," Garcia cried for second before she leaned forward and enveloped Reid into a tight hug, she felt joy when she felt his small arms wrap around her.

"I love you Garcy," Reid said to her. Garcia smiled knowing that he loved her in a way that wasn't romantic, she smiled knowing that his love for her was so much more deeper.

"I love you too Reid," Garcia laughed gently.

**Five months later**

Reid's hand shook as he read the letter in his hands. He didn't know how to feel as his mind absorbed the words.

You have been approved for duty. Field allowance status - pending

It had been five months since Reid had stopped fearing the ghosts that haunted his mind, he had been working extremely hard to get himself back to normal. He knew that his was better but he still wasn't the old Reid that he wanted to be. He wanted to be the strong Reid who was able to hold a gun steady and not jump at loud noises. He wanted to be the same Reid that was able to speak properly. Reid jumped slightly when someone knocked on his apartment door. Reid still felt uncomfortable living in his new apartment, he had only been there for two months and was still maintaining a habit of sleeping with a gun near his bed. He had visited his old apartment, he wanted to visit it to see if he could stand being there.

_Three months ago_

_"Honey, I don't think that it is a good idea for you to do this," Garcia said as she put her arm around Reid's shoulder to calm him down._

_"I h-have to do t-this," Reid gasped. "I-I have to confront this. I-I can't stay away forever."_

_"Sweetheart, you've been doing so well. Don't go in that apartment. What happened to you in that apartment was horrific and you almost died because of it. Please don't go in there," Garcia begged fiercly before looking up at Morgan._

_"Reid, she is right. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. You don't want to go into that apartment," Morgan said to Reid in a loud voice._

_Reid ignored them and raced to the apartment door, he unlocked the door and took a few steps into the apartment. He looked around and found the apartment was empty, he remembered then that the apartment was still up for a new tenant. No-one wanted it due to the whispers of what had happened to him going around the complex. Reid stood frozen as he looked around, a small creak came behind caused a memory to flash to the front of his mind._

_'A hand clamped over his mouth causing him to yelp'_

_"Reid, come back," Reid heard a voice echo. He was too deep in thought to hear the voice as he took a few steps forward, he looked to the side into his old bedroom and felt his chest constrict as he was assaulted by memories of his attack._

_"You going to scream for me crazy," Jacob Harris whispered in his ear. Reid cried and sobbed as he felt Jacob plant kisses down his neck. Reid screamed when he felt a hand in a place where it shouldn't have been._

_"I'm gonna fuck you till you want to die," Jacob whispered in Reid's ear again before licking his cheek._

_Reid screamed as he felt a sharp pain._

_"Reid, snap out of it!" Morgan said as he shook Reid's shoulders. Reid looked at Morgan with eyes brimming with tears and his entire body shook._

_"N-Not again!" Reid shouted before he pushed Morgan away and bolted out of the apartment. Reid ran down the stairs of his apartment complex and out of the door. His knees buckled before he retched and vomited of the ground. Reid dry heaved and jumped when he felt a hand on his back. Reid jumped away from the touch but calmed when he saw Morgan staring at him._

_"I w-wanna go home," Reid cried before wrapping his arms around stomach and taking deep breaths. Morgan was at Reid's side instantly and helped him up, he led Reid to the car slowly._

_"Don't worry Reid, we'll get you home," Morgan said in a soothing tone._

A knock at his door caused Reid to snap back to the present, he quickly walked over to the door and opened to see Garcia, Hotch and JJ smiling at him, he looked at Garcia and saw and small basket in her hands.

"Congrats my junior g-man!" Garcia said happily as she walked into the apartment and gave Reid the basket, she pointed to a piece of paper inside the basket and leaned to whisper into Reid's ear.

"My own cupcake recipe," Garcia giggled. Reid looked at the piece of paper and smiled. He knew how precious Garcia's cupcake recipe was to her, he swore that no-one else would lay eyes upon the recipe.

"Thanks Garcy," Reid said before hugging her. He withdraw from the hug to find Hotch looking at him. Hotch walked forward and patted Reid on the back gently.

"Can't wait to have you back in the office," Hotch smiled.

"We are all so excited to have you back Reid, the place hasn't been the same without you," JJ said as she ruffled Reid's shortened hair slightly.

"I'm nervous a-about coming b-back," Reid admitted.

"Everything is going to fine Reid, the best thing is that you are working with me for a month. The awesome duo will be fighting crime again," Garcia giggled.

"Is that true?" Reid asked Hotch.

"Yes, we think it would be best to ease you back in. You will be working with Garcia and helping us via webcam on cases that take us away from the office. You'll also be delivering profiles to those requesting help so expect a lot of paperwork," Hotch explained.

"I feel a l-lot less nervous n-now," Reid breathed, he was happy at the fact that he was working with Garcia again.

He knew then that he had to get used to the horrors of the job in a month if he was going to keep a job he knew he was barely holding.

Reid was estatic at the fact he was working with Garcia again, he was looking forward to that.

**Please review**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. **

**Thank you again for all the reviews, I wake up and do a little dance when I check my emails and see them there. Thank you again, they were all wonderful.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Monday Morning**

Reid stopped at the glass doors to the BAU offices and took a deep breath in, he knew that he was extremely early and that no-one would be in for at least another hour. Reid pushed open the glass doors and walked in, he gripped his satchel strap even tighter as he felt so unfamiliar with the office. Reid walked over to his old desk and noticed that it was now occupied by someone else. Reid felt slightly angry that someone had taken his desk, a desk that had been his little sanctuary all the time he had been with the BAU but he knew that the anger he was feeling was irrational.

Reid walked over to Morgan's desk and sat down in the chair as he waited for the team to arrive. Reid felt more nervous than ever.

**One hour later**

Morgan, Hotch and Garcia walked together out of the elevator with a cup of coffee each.

"Why wouldn't Reid let me pick him up today?" Garcia said, her voice full of worry and concern. Garcia knew that Reid was still nervous about travelling on public transport since his first attack but Reid had been so adamant when she had offered to drive him in that he would be fine on the train. Garcia smiled when Morgan opened the door for her, Garcia gave him a small wink before walking through the door. Garcia walked around the corner and stopped when she saw Reid sat at Morgan's desks.

"Morning Reid, how are you sweetie? Did you get here okay?" Garcia said as she walked over to Reid and smiled at him. Morgan and Hotch came up behind her a few seconds later.

"Y-Yeah, I-I got here fine. The t-train wasn't that busy," Reid smiled back nervously.

"How long have you been here?" Hotch asked.

"About an hour, I-I just wanted to get to work e-early. A-Avoid all the crowds," Reid said honestly, he knew that it wouldn't help if he lied to Hotch and he would get his arse kicked by Garcia if he lied to her.

"Youu took a big step today, you'll be fine today," Garcia said as she gave Reid's shoulder a small squeeze. Reid stood up from his seat and took a deep breath.

"I-I promise I'll tell you if I-I have any problems. I-I know that Garcia would w-whoop my arse if I-I wasn't honest today," Reid laughed gently.

"You bet your cute little butt I would," Garcia giggled back.

"Are you ready to started?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah, definitely," Reid said confidently. Reid knew that he needed to start living life again even it meant he had to see some of the horrors that life had to produce.

**Five hours later**

Reid ran his hands through his hair as he sat in the toilet cubicle, he had come into the men's bathroom to have a few minutes to himself. He smiled at the memory of walking in Garcia's office and finding a desk had been set up for him, little Tardis and everything. Reid jumped as the door to the men's bathroom hit the wall. Reid quickly pulled his feet up off the and onto the toilet seat so no-one would know he was there.

"Why the hell is Agent Reid back?" a male voice sighed. Reid looked up and felt slightly uncomfortable when he heard the men begin to pee. Reid listened as another voice spoke.

"I have no idea. The guy looks like a twig and he has been on leave for a long time. He isn't fit to be back in the BAU, it's because of that little prick that my application join Aaron Hotchner's team was denied," the other man said angrily causing Reid to feel upset.

"I don't think he'll be here much longer, not after what everyone is saying happened to him. I give him a week before he is running to the crazy house again," the other man said.

Reid felt a tear roll down his cheek, he hated hearing what the men were saying. It hurt him more that they knew details of why he had been away.

"What happened to him?" the man who had been denied a place on the team asked.

"He tried to off himself but when that didn't work he got sent to a mental hospital. Some guard attacked and raped him. He came back to work after recovering but got attacked again by the same guy. Just shows you how weak he is, what FBI agent lets a man rape him twice?" the other man answered.

"One that doesn't belong in the FBI or in that team. I should had gotten his job, instead I lost it to a weak little shit" the man said angrily as he finished washing his hands. "Come on, we have to get back to the meeting."

Reid waited till the two men left the bathroom before letting out a small sob, he felt hot tears running down his face. He continued to cry silently. He wanted to stop but he couldn't stop the men's words echoing in his mind.

Reid cried to a few minutes, not making a sound before wiping the tears away from his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. Reid knew that he couldn't stay at the BAU, he needed to go home for a while. He had already finished all the paperwork he had been given. He only needed some time to think. Reid walked out of the cubicle and walked out of the bathroom, he quickly walked towards Garcia's office. He walked in to find Hotch and Garcia looking at some footage, they both looked up and noticed something was wrong.

"Reid, what's wrong?" Garcia asked as she noticed Reid's eyes were puffy and red, she knew that he had been crying.

"N-Nothing, I'm fine. Hotch, w-would it be o-okay if I w-went home?" Reid said before cursing inwardly at how shaky his voice was.

"Reid, your not going home till you tell us the truth, you promised us you would. Why you have been crying?" Hotch asked.

"I d-don't want to talk a-about it," Reid said even though he wanted to tell Hotch what had happened.

"Reid, sweetheart. Tell us why you are so upset?" Garcia said before walking over to Reid and placing him on the chair, she ran her hand through his hair and was happy when he she saw him let out a small smile.

"This is w-what h-happened..."

**Please review**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone, its the weekend and I have some spare time so I decided to update the fanfic and I was also promised a cookie by HpDork FreakaZiod (make it chocolate) if I updated quickly. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews and I am amazed at the reaction the last chapter received, you are all amazing and the little dance I do now when I see the reviews in my email box has no turned into a full disco dance. Thank you again for the reviews. They were awesome. **

**Hope you like that chapter**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

"I was s-sitting in one of the c-cubicles, I just needed a f-few minutes. T-Two male agents c-came in, t-they said some t-things about me," Reid explained to Hotch and Garcia. He didn't like telling Hotch about what had happened, he felt like he was being some kind of snitch.

"What things did they say?" Hotch asked. Reid remained silent, Hotch asked again. "Reid, I need to know what they said."

"O-One of them blames m-me for being denied a place o-on this team, t-they think I'm weak and t-that I'll be running t-to the crazy h-house. T-they know what h-happened to me, they k-knew t-that I-I had been raped. They said what k-kind of FBI agent let's a man r-rape him twice. They mentioned m-my suicide attempt," Reid said before bowing his head down.

"I am going to kill them!" Garcia screamed angrily before she started to storm out of the room. Reid and Hotch quickly stood up and pulled her back. Reid was slightly surprised at her outburst of anger.

"Garcy, j-just leave it," Reid pleaded with her, he didn't want her getting into trouble because of him.

"This matter is not going to just be left Reid, I will not accept that attitude within the FBI. Reid, part of being an FBI agent is supporting every person in the FBI. I think I know who one of them was. Reid, I will deal with this right now but I want you to stay here until I do. I don't want you going home while you are still upset. Stay here with Garcia," Hotch ordered Reid. Reid could tell that Hotch was angry.

"Okay, I-I'll see if Morgan or E-Emily have any paperwork. I-I can't just sit d-down and do n-nothing," Reid said.

"Reid, I need to ask you this. H-How are doing with the crime scene photos?" Hotch asked.

"S-Some memories t-try to come f-forward but I-I'm managing. I-I can see them and not f-freak out. I-I'm fine," Reid said with a small smile at Hotch.

"I just needed to ask," Hotch smiled back. "Stay here till I come and get you."

Reid watched as Hotch left, he couldn't help but feel immensley weak at that moment. He knew that he shouldn't have told Hotch anything that had happened. He should have been able to take the comments and shrug them off but for some reason he couldn't. He couldn't shake off the fact that he people thought he had let Jacob Harris brutally rape him when, in fact, he had struggled and fought as hard as he could against the bastard.

"Dr Timelord," Garcia said causing Reid to snap out of his thoughts and smile slightly at the comment. "What's bothering you?"

Reid knew he needed to be honest Garcia.

"W-Why do people think I let J-Jacob rape me? I-I didn't-" Reid said before his breathing began to go a little faster. "I-I fought a-as hard as I could, I-I didn't let him do a-anything. H-He forced me to do them."

Garcia half hugged Reid as she put an arm around him and onto his shoulder. She pulled him close and felt his breathing return to normal.

"Reid, just ignore what those assholes said. We know that you didn't let Jacob do that to you, we know that he forced himself on you and did - and did those awful things to you. You are so strong and you have no idea how proud I am of you for coming back to the BAU. The entire team is proud of you for fighting through everything you have been through. You have been so strong," Garcia said to soothe him.

Reid looked up into her eyes with a sadness that she didn't understand.

"I h-haven't though, I wasn't always s-strong Garcy. I-I tried to kill m-myself and I-I almost succeeded. I wasn't strong at t-that moment. How can you think that I'm so s-strong?"

"I don't think that you are strong Reid, I know that you are. Don't think about your suicide attempt, I don't want your sweet mind going back to that moment. You have a pure heart, a pure soul and a wonderful mind. Everything is going to be okay," Garcia smiled at him before giving him a little squeeze.

"T-Thanks Garcy, I-I don't know what I-I would do without you," Reid said.

"You'd be a lot thinner without my cupcakes," Garcia smirked playfully. Reid laughed to agree with her, he knew that he had gained weight since Garcia had been making him cupcakes.

"So I'm now Dr Timelord," Reid asked.

**Hotch - Half an hour later**

Hotch watched as the two agents he suspected of talking about Reid strolled into his office. Hotch was glad that Strauss was with him on this matter, he was surprised at her support in the matter. She had been against Reid return but she had stopped argueing with him on the matter since she had had a meeting with Reid. Hotch began to wonder what had happened in the meeting that had changed her opinion of Reid. Strauss began to speak.

"Agent Haggen and Agent Luis, you have both been called in due to a complaint regarding comments made about Dr Spencer Reid, I have called you in as we cannot allow these comments to go without disciplinary actions," Strauss said a calm voice.

"What comments are you referring to?" Agent Luis said nervously.

"Comments regarding Dr Reid's return to the BAU and the attacks he was subjected too during his leave from the FBI. After hearing the context of the comments I have to say that I am disgusted that two FBI agents would make such vile comments about a fellow FBI agent who has been through horrific things," Erin said angrily causing Hotch to give her look of shock. He had never heard her defend Reid in such a powerful way.

Hotch noticed how the two men squirmed, he knew then he had the two men who had said hurtful things about Reid. Agent Haggen was the first to break.

"We didn't mean to speak about Dr Reid like that. It's just some members of the FBI are concerned with his return and that fact that the FBI may have been unfair to other agents by keeping a job at the BAU open for someone who may not be capable of filling that role properly," Agent Haggen explained quickly.

"According to the person who informed us of this matter, Agent Luis has a strong anger towards Dr Reid due to his application to BAU being rejected. Do you agree with this statement Agent Luis?" Hotch said, his voice stone cold with anger and disgust at the two men.

"He doesn't deserve that position, he isn't strong enough to fill the position and the twig jumps at every little thing," Agent Luis snapped angrily.

"Calm yourself Agent Luis," Erin said back with a fierce authority in her voice. "You are both suspended for the next two days, I want you both to think about respecting your fellow agents and Agent Luis, I want you to learn to control your anger. Now get out of my sight."

The two agents stormed out of the office with anger on their faces. Hotch looked at Strauss and wondered what effect Reid had had on her during her meeting with the young genius. Erin looked at him.

"Do you have a problem with how the situation was handled?" Erin said to Hotch as straightened her watch.

"No, I have no problems at all," Hotch said quietly.

Strauss walked to the door and opened it, she stopped before walking out and turned to face Hotch.

"Tell Dr Reid that its good to see him back at work. Good afternoon Aaron," Strauss said before leaving the room. Hotch knew then that he had to find out what had happened in the meeting Reid had had with her.

**Please review**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey everyone, I am so sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, I have been really busy and dealing with a few things. Really sorry.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, they were wonderful. Thank you so much!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat looking out of the window on the train as he made his way back to his apartment. Hotch had given him the rest of the afternoon off and had questioned him on what had happened in the meeting he had had with Strauss. Reid had chosen not to tell Hotch out a promise to Erin. Reid let his mind wander back to meeting

**A month ago**

_Reid jumped slightly as someone knocked at his door, he inwardly scolded himself for still being so jumpy. He knew that he needed to stop. Reid put his book to the table and made his way to the door, he looked through the peep hole to see Erin Strauss standing at the door. Reid unlocked the floor locks on his door and opened the door, he felt slightly embarassed at the fact he was in pyjama bottoms and pyjama top._

_"Hello Dr Reid, may I come in?" Strauss asked politely. Reid nodded his head and stepped aside to let her in, he noticed how she looked around before turning back to him._

_"W-What do I owe the visit?" Reid asked as he closed the door and relocked all the locks on the door. He recieved a sad smile from Erin._

_"I'm here to discuss your possible return to the unit. I also need to ask you some difficult questions in order to enable you return the unit. This all depends on whether you would be willing to come back to the BAU," Strauss explained._

_Reid nodded and took a deep breath. "W-Would you like to t-take a seat? C-Can I offer you a d-drink?"_

_"A glass of water would be lovely, thank you."_

_Reid nodded before pointing for Strauss to sit at the table. He quickly walked into the kitchen and filled a glass with water, he returned to the table and handed the glass to Strauss. Erin took a small sip before putting it on the table. Reid sat down on the chair near her._

_"How are you doing Dr Reid?" she asked._

_"I-I'm fine, the t-team is helping where they can. I-I-m trying to be more i-independent," Reid told her before running his four fingered hand through his hair. He quickly hid his hand from Strauss._

_"Dr Reid, I've gone through the reports submitted by Agent Hotchner. Firstly, I want to say that I am deeply sorry that all this has happened to you. You are a good person and none of this should have happened to you. I came here to day to ask you some questions that may be difficult for you to answer. Would you be able to answer these questions?"_

_"Of course," Reid said nervously._

_"The BAU deals with cases that show some of the most horrific things that people are capable of. I need to know if being assaulted by Jacob Harris is going to affect your work or view on certain cases," Erin questioned._

_"My-My work wouldn't be affected by what has happened to me. I p-promise you that. I c-can do my job again, I'm ta-talking with someone a-about what happened to me. I'm g-getting better," Reid said with a strong edge to his voice._

_"W-Who are you speaking to?" Strauss asked._

_"I'd rather n-not s-say for personal r-reasons," Reid said quickly. Strauss didn't know about Morgan's past, he didn't want her to know_

_"Dr Reid, I'll be honest with you. I've recieved some heat from higher members in the FBI regarding your return to the BAU. They are not happy with the space on your team being left open for so long as they feel that you are not capable to handle the job anymore and that other members of the FBI would like the chance to be placed within the BAU," Strauss said._

_"So I lost m-my j-job?" Reid's voice shook slightly. He didn't want to lose his job, he had been working so hard to get back there._

_"No, I told them that they don't know what they are talking about and that you would be returning to the BAU pending the mandatory psych test which I know you and your team know word for word. I expect you back to work in a month. Does that sound acceptable? You have to be passed for duty but as far as I am concerned you are welcome to return. Would you like to return?"_

_"Y-Yes!" Reid said happily before reeling in his joy. Strauss got up from her seat, Reid followed her and stood up as well._

_"You are an exceptional agent and an exceptional man to have survived what you have. I'll see you in a month Dr Reid," Strauss smiled at him before making her way to the door. Reid got to the door first and unlocked the locks on the door before he opened it with her._

_"T-Thank you."_

_Strauss smiled at Reid before she walked out of the door. She stopped and turned around._

_"I would appreciate if you didn't tell the rest of the team about how nice I was in the meeting. I have a reputation to uphold," Strauss joked slightly._

_"I w-won't tell them," Reid laughed softly._

Reid was jolted from the memory when a loud screech filled his ears, he looked up and noticed that his stop was next. He smiled at the fact he was going home. He wanted to try and make Garcia perfect cupcakes.

**The next morning**

Garcia sat on the edge of Morgan's desk with Morgan as she waited for Reid to walk through the doors. She was so nervous for Reid, she hoped that he was okay after the events of the previous day. She finally relaxed when she saw Reid walking into the bullpen with a medium sized box in his hands. He walked down the stairs and up to her with a big smile on his face.

"M-Morning Garcy, m-morning Morgan," Reid smiled as he placed the box on Morgan's desk.

Hotch and Rossi both walked over and greeted Reid.

"What is in the box?" Garcia asked as she tried to sneak a peek but Reid stopped her. Reid opened the box and showed them eight colourful cupcakes. Garcia immediately recognised them and gasped.

"You used my recipe," Garcia giggled happily.

"I-I made enough for everyone. Can y-you tell me if I g-got them r-right?"

Garcia quickly snapped a photo of the cupcakes before she picked up the pink one and took a small bite out of it. She chewed for a few moments before swallowing and letting out a giggle.

"My genius has nailed it!" Garcia said happily.

**Please review**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I apologise for the delay. I can't get much sleep thanks to my neighbours so I'm falling asleep here and there. **

**Thank you again for the reviews, I'm happy that you like the way that Strauss was in the previous chapter. Thank you again, the reviews were amazing and I love you all!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**One month later**

Reid double checked his go bag for the third time, he made sure that he had his medication and all the essentials he would need. He looked to the clock and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He had been cleared for field work after passing his gun qualification, he knew he had only passed it due to Hotch's tutoring again. He was happy that he could carry a gun with him, it made him feel safer.

Reid quickly made his way out of the BAU to the SUV where Morgan and Hotch were seated. Reid quickly climbed into the backseat and placed his go bag beside him. Hotch turned around the face Reid.

"Are you sure that you are ready to do this? Are you ready to go back into the field?" Hotch asked. Hotch knew that he needed to make sure that Reid was ready to go back in the field, he couldn't risk having the team break apart as it did when Reid had previously returned.

"I-I'm ready to go i-into the field, t-trust me I'll be fine. I've been passed f-for it all. I-I think I'm going to miss G-Garcy the most though, it was n-nice working with h-her," Reid smiled at Hotch.

"I must admit you two made a good team," Hotch said.

"The genius and the goddess," Morgan chuckled before starting the car and pulling into traffic.

**The Jet**

Reid sat within the group as they began to go through the details of the case. He was able to look through the crime scene photos and managed to keep the memories locked in the back of his mind.

"Our current unsub is a very disturbed one, he has kidnapped and murdered four women so far, each victim was dressed as a different female fairytale character. There were signs of sexual assault with all the victims and they had been strangled to death. Each victim was missing for two days, we have been called in after the latest victim was found. He is going to be looking for a new victim and we need to find him before he does," Hotch explained as he showed the team the photos featuring the victim. Reid couldn't help but rub his neck as he saw the bruises around the neck's of the dead women.

Reid quickly noticed Hotch looking at him and put his hand back to the table.

"It's possible that h-he has had a p-psychotic break and has broken a-away from re-reality. His delusion i-is detailed w-which suggest t-that he has a pe-personal connection with fairytales, s-something connected with h-his childhood. I-It's probable he s-suffered abuse himself. A-An event or recent trauma would be the ca-cause of his psychotic b-break," Reid profiled to the group, he looked up to see the team with small smiles on their faces. JJ and Emily both let out a small laugh.

"What?" Reid questioned.

"I think your right Reid. It's damn good to have you back with the team properly," Rossi said.

"Good to b-be back."

**Later that night**

Reid yawned as he made his way down the hall of the hotel they were staying at. The team had been working all day and Reid had managed to build a geographical profile of where the unsub lives. It was difficult though due to the bodies being placed in scattered places but Reid was sure the unsub had a comfort zone. Reid took another zip of his tea, a drink he had been ordered to drink by his doctor on occasion.

Reid was almost at his door when he heard a small scream come from a room a couple doors down. He immediately recognised the scream as JJ's. Reid dropped his tea and quickly bolted down the hall till he reached the door, he jumped slightly when he heard a crash followed by a groan of pain.

"JJ!" Reid yelled. He knew that he needed to get into the room and help her. Reid stepped back and took a run at the door, he smashed into the door and heard it crack slightly. He ignored the pain in his shoulder and ran at it again. He crashed through the door to see JJ unconcious and bleeding on the floor. Reid tried to get to her but a bulky arm wrap around his neck and yank him back.

Reid grunted as the unsub squeezed.

"She's so beautiful, I have to have her. She has to join the others," the unsub said in a panicked voice.

"Y-You are n-not..touching her," Reid wheezed before he lifted his foot up and stomped down hard of the unsub's foot, the unsub loosened his grip allowing Reid to throw his elbow into the man's ribs. The man stumbled backwards, Reid twisted himself around and grabbed the man's wrist and twisted it back. Reid lifted his foot up and kicked the unsub in stomach. The unsub grunted and fell back against the wall. Reid quickly grabbed for his gun but found himself tackled to ground. Reid moaned as he the unsub delivered a punch to his face. Reid shook away the pain and rammed his knee into the man's privates, before the unsub could recover he kicked the man off him and quickly got to to his feet.

Reid heard someone yell from down the hall but ignored it as he focused on the unsub in front of him. Reid quickly delivered a roundhouse kick to the unsub's face. The unsub smacked to the ground unconcious. Reid stood above the unsub for a few seconds to make sure the man would not get up.

Morgan appeared at the door with Hotch, they both stood for a moment at the door at the scene in front of them.

Reid rushed over to JJ and found that her eyes were open, he looked at cuts to her arms and cut in her head. He knew she was going to need stitches.

"H-Hotch, call an ambulance. JJ is fine but s-she has injuries," Reid said to Hotch.

**Two hours later**

Reid sat outside JJ's room as Hotch spoke with her. He was just happy that JJ was okay, he touched his hand to his face and touched the bruise that was forming on his cheekbone, he barely felt it. Reid looked up to see Hotch looking down at him, Reid turned around in his chair and peeked around the door to see JJ asleep and resting comfortably.

"Good job Reid, you saved her life."

Reid simply nodded before looking back to his coffee

"Care to explain how you took down the unsub, JJ told me that you fought like she had never seen before," Hotch questioned. Reid started to explain.

"I-I was sick and t-tired of always being s-seen as the weak one. I don't ever w-want to be without a way to defend myself ever a-again. I-I can't go through what I did again, n-not after I've f-fought so hard to get m-my life back. I-I've been taking fight classes for the last t-three months to build myself up a-and to make sure that I was ready to c-come back. I told you t-that I was."

"I'm proud of you Reid, we all are. I already knew that you were ready to return, I must admit that I'm impressed at how efficently you took down the unsub."

"I b-bet I could even give M-Morgan a decent f-fight," Reid smirked. Hotch let out a small chuckle before taking a seat next to Reid.

Hotch was proud of Reid, he was proud that Reid was so strong again. He was proud that Reid was smiling again.

**Please review**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for all you lovely readers. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, I am so happy you like Reid kicking a bit of ass. There will be more of that soon so I hope you all look forward to that. Thank you again, they were all wonderful.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Five hours later**

Reid sat beside JJ's bed and watched as she slept, he hated seeing the bruises that on her face, he knew the unsub had beaten her up quiet badly. Reid was just relieved that he had arrived before the unsub had had the chance to assault JJ, that had been his biggest fear when trying to break down the door, his biggest fear was being too late to save her from such a horrific action. He knew what it felt like to be frightened and used, he never wanted anyone he loved to ever feel that way. Reid couldn't help but let his mind wander back to the attack in his bedroom, his breathing began to get quicker as he felt himself go deeper into the memories. He squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered his only screams and pleas for Jacob to stop hurting him.

Reid jumped when he suddenly felt a hand on his arm, he snapped away from the memory and opened his eyes to see JJ smiling at him from the bed.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked gently. Reid realised that he had a tear on his cheek, he quickly wiped it away and put on a strong face.

"I-I'm fine, how are y-you? Are y-you feeling a-alright?" Reid asked trying to get the conversation focus away from himself. JJ sighed before leaning back against the slightly raised bed.

"I feel a little bruised and battered and a bad headache but I'm fine. I'm fine and I owe it all to you," JJ smiled at him.

"I'm sorry t-that I didn't g-get there sooner, I-I heard you scream and I-I just ran to h-help you. I-I was afraid that I-I was too late to save you from being-," Reid said not being able to complete the sentence.

"From what?"

"I w-was afraid t-that I may have been too l-late to save you from being a-assaulted. All his p-previous victims w-were sexually assaulted. I don't know what I-I would have done if I-I had been too late. I k-know what it feels like t-to be at the mercy of s-someone and be f-forced to do something y-you don't want to do, f-forced to do something that will m-make you hate looking at yourself i-in the mirror because a-all you see filth. I-I never want any of you to k-know that feeling, I-I want to keep you all safe," Reid said before taking a deep breath and running his hand through his hair to try and calm himself down.

JJ leaned forward and took Reid's hand in her own.

"Don't think about what could have happened because it didn't happen, don't dwell on the what if's. You saved me Reid and I owe you my life. I can go home and see Henry and Will all because of you. I don't want you to dwell on what Jacob Harris did to you because he can't hurt you anymore and because you've come so far in the last few months. You gained weight and you are healthy. You come back to work and you are beating the demons inside of you. You are Dr Spencer Reid, a brilliant genius and an amazing man. I will always see you as strong person and nothing else. You will always be a hero to me," JJ said as she held Reid's hand.

"Thanks JJ. I know I-I'm getting stronger b-but the memories will a-always be there. I'm just learning to try and l-lock them a-away," Reid smiled back at her. Reid heard a knock at the door, he let go of JJ's hand opened the door to see Will and Henry staring back at him.

"Mummy!" Henry shouted before running to his mother's bedside. Reid opened the door fully and let Will into the room.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Will said as he took in all the bruises.

"I'm fine, I'm just a little bruised," JJ smiled back at Will before they kissed each other. Reid decided it was time for him to leave.

"I'll leave y-you alone for a-a while," Reid said quickly before giving a small wave and walking out of the door, he only made it a few steps before a touched his shoulder. He turned around to face Will.

"H-Hey Will, JJ is going to be fine. I just wanted to give you some time alone w-with her."

"I just want to come and say thank you for saving her, I don't know what I would have done if I had lost her. Thank you saving her," Will thanked before holding his hand out for Reid to shake. Reid shook Will's hand and gave him a small smile. Will rushed back into JJ's room.

Reid walked down the corridor of the hospital till he reached the exit. He needed a long walk to clear his head.

**The next day - The Jet**

Hotch looked at everyone on the jet. JJ was sleeping with Henry snuggled sound asleep against her. Will was reading a book but glanced up occassionally to check up on JJ and Henry. Hotch saw Morgan listening to his Ipod with his eyes closed while Rossi sat next to him reading a letter. Emily was sat next to Morgan and was doing a puzzle that Hotch couldn't quite understand.

He then turned his attention to the sofa behind him when he heard a small moan. Emily looked up from her puzzle and Rossi from his letter. Hotch watched as Reid slept of the small sofa, he saw Reid's eye's squeeze shut and his face contort into one of pain. Emily poked Morgan to get his attention. Morgan opened his eyes to focus on Reid

"Let me go," Reid moaned in almost a whisper. "Nooo..."

Morgan walked over to Reid as Reid began to whimper.

"I-It hurts...stop. N-Not again..." Reid whimpered before tossing his head to the side. Morgan decided then to try and use what he had named the Garcia Method. Morgan ran his hand through Reid's hair just like Garcia before speaking in a soft voice.

"He can't hurt you anymore. You are safe. Relax, everything is okay, everyone is here," Morgan said softly. Reid immediately stopped tossing and turning in his sleep and settled back into his satchel which he was using as a makeshift pillow. Morgan took a sigh of relief before walking back to the rest of the team. He looked up to see the entire team staring at him.

"How did you calm him down like that?" Hotch asked as he glanced back at Reid to see him a peaceful slumber.

"That everyone is the Garcia Method, the only known way to stop Reid's nightmares. You can thank Garcia for that."

**Please review**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey everyone, firstly let me apologise for the delay in updating this fanfic, I haven't been well the past week and my brain hasn't been functioning very well. Sorry again, I'm feeling a little better now so updates will return to normal.**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews, you are so awesome. I'm glad you all like the 'Garcia method'. I though it would be a nice moment for Morgan. Thank you again.**

**This chapter deals with Reid's past drug addiction so little warning there.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Two days later**

Reid pressed the doorbell and waited for the door to answered, the door opened to reveal Will.

"Hey Spencer, please come in," Will said before he opened the door to let Spencer in. Reid walked into the house carefully so not to drop the box he was holding in his hands. Reid walked into the house and waited for Will to close the door. Will closed the door before turning to Reid.

"Hey Will, I-I just wanted to c-check on JJ and see how s-she was doing. I b-brought this for her," Reid smiled before gesturing to the box in his hands.

"JJ is in the living room, she'll be happy to see you," Will smiled before leading Reid to the living room. Reid walked into the living room with Will to see JJ sitting on the sofa with Henry, they were both watching a disney movie that Reid was not familiar with. JJ turned around and smiled when she saw Reid.

"Hey Reid," JJ smiled before turning to Henry. "Look Henry, it's Uncle Spencer."

Henry gave Reid a small wave before returning his attention back to the screen. Reid gave a small laugh before sitting across from JJ.

"What's in the box?" JJ asked.

"They are for you," Reid said before walking over and placing them on JJ's lap. JJ lifted the box and laughed happily at the sight in front of her. A selection of cupcakes were in the box and spelled out 'Get Well JJ'. JJ turned the box around for Henry to see. Henry giggled at the sight and tried to take a cupcake but JJ pulled the box so he couldn't.

"You can have a cupcake if you go and get some plates with Daddy, go and help Daddy," JJ told Henry. Henry nodded before jumping off the sofa and going into the kitchen with Will. Reid watched as JJ gave Will a small nod, Will nodded back confusing Reid.

"Thank you so much for the cupcakes Reid, they look delicious and I know they taste delicious. You are so lucky to have to have Garcia's recipe, she guards that with her life," JJ said before giving Reid a serious look, she knew something was wrong with him. "Reid, have you slept at all since I last saw you?"

Reid gave a tired sigh before shaking his head. "I-I haven't slept m-much, having nightmares all w-when I close my e-eyes. They've been r-really bad since I-I took down the unsub."

"What are the nightmares about?"

"A-About failure, I had a n-nightmare where I-I had been too late to save you, y-you were covered in blood and you were so p-pale. The s-second nightmare I-I had was about J-Jacob Harris attacking me, I dreamed of t-the attack in my a-apartment except t-this time he didn't l-leave me alive, he sliced m-my wrists open and left me to die. I-I d-died and I-I watched e-everyone find my-my body," Reid explained in a small voice before leaning back into the sofa and closing his eyes.

"Reid, you know that everyone cares about you and that I'm fine. I'm here and I don't plan on going anywhere, you saved me. You were not too late. Jacob Harris hurt you, when I saw you in the bathroom all bloody and beaten my heart broke. He is dead now and he can't hurt you ever again. All that matters is that you are here now and you are doing so well. Don't ever think about what could have happened because it didn't. I just want you to look forward to the future, I want you to look forward to making the phone call that gets Henry into Caltech," JJ said.

Reid let out a small smile at the mention of Henry getting into Caltech.

"I-I know he can't hurt me anymore but t-the memories are still t-there. I'm l-learning to control them."

"I'm always here Reid. Focus on the future not the past."

Reid nodded before he heard Will return into the room with plates. Reid looked to JJ and felt better at hearing her advice although deep down he knew that couldn't tell her one of his deepest problems. He knew he had to tell someone. He needed to tell Hotch.

**Later that night**

Reid stared at his phone still getting up the courage to talk to him. Reid finally grabbed the phone and dialled Hotch's number. He waited nervously for Hotch to pick up the phone, he waited but felt disappointment when Hotch didn't answer. He decided to leave a message in case he didn't have the courage to call up later. He waited for the beep before he started to talk.

"Hey H-Hotch. I-I'm sorry to have t-to call y-you and disturb you but I-I got a problem and I-I'm really worried. I'm worried because t-the feeling is c-coming back. I th-thought I wouldn't e-ever feel it again but I-I am. I'm really s-scared of w-what I might do or if it g-gets too strong," Reid said quickly down the phone before taking a few breaths, he took a deep breath before talking.

"H-Hotch, I need you t-to call me b-back. I-I'm craving, I-I'm craving again and it's getting stronger. I don't k-know if I'm strong e-enough to fight it."

Reid slammed his phone shut and put his phone down on the table. He placed it next to the small little vial.

**Please review**

**Also I would like to recommend a fanfic that I've been reading, I love reading it. The fanfic is called The Genius's Dilemma by Iama Sipe. Enjoy**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I know it's short but I can't sleep so I decided to do some writing. **

**Thank you all so much for the reviews, I loved them all. I cannot thank you enough for all the reviews so far and I just want to say thank you and that you are the best readers a writer could have. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch yawned as he finished the last file in the pile that had seemed to stay the same size the entire day. He switched off his computer before getting up from his chair, he grabbed his jacket and put it on, a small beep came from his phone alerting him that he had a voicemail, he had forgotten he had set the phone to send calls to voicemail before his meeting with Strauss. Hotch put his phone and listened to the voicemail.

He was already out of his office when Reid began to talk. He immediately rushed out of the building when the message had finished. He just hoped that Reid had not done anything yet.

**Reid - Half an hour later**

Reid sat down on his bed and stared at the three items in front of him, items that he knew were his enemy but held a strange hold over him. He stared at the clear vial marked Diludid, the tourniquet and the needle. Reid ran his hands through his hair in fustration as he felt everything hit him at once. He had been fine until JJ had been attacked. He knew that she had not been hurt like the unsub's other victims but he hated himself for letting her get hurt. He hated that Jacob Harris and the other memories were trying to claw and rip their way to the front of his mind. He closed his eyes and wondered what was the point of him surviving everything. He knew that it was only a matter of time before his job at the BAU hurt him again yet he could never leave it. The BAU had made him stronger in some ways but weaker in other ways.

He wanted to make the memories go away and he knew that Diludid helped, he remembered the memories of Tobias being pushed away by the Diludid. Reid picked up the needle and filled the needle with a non-lethal dose. He put the vial down and held the needle in his hand. His hand shook as he held the needle, he never thought he would do it again but the memories were too strong again, they were breaking him down again.

Reid dropped the needle into his bed when a rattle of knocks came at his door.

"Reid, it's Hotch. Open the door now!" Hotch ordered in a loud voice. Reid sat frozen on the bed before he heard someone unlocking his front door, he remembered giving Hotch a spare key in emergencies. Reid sunk back as Hotch walked around the corner and into his bedroom. Hotch stood frozen when he saw the needle and Reid's shaking form. Hotch quickly rushed over to him check his arms.

"I-I only f-filled the needle, I-I didn't take any," Reid said in a quiet voice. Hotch seemed satifised with Reid's answer when he found no injection marks. Hotch quickly grabbed the vial and needle and broke them inside of the sink, he smashed the vial causing the contents to leak down the sink.

"No!" Reid shouted before he could stop himself, he rushed forward as if to save the remains of the vial. Hotch grabbed Reid and pulled him away from the bathroom sink and back to the bed.

"You don't need it!" Hotch told Reid.

"I-It keeps the m-memories away. It d-did with Tobias, it can do it a-again."

"No it can't, all that is going to happen is you going through hell. It might hold the memories at bay for you but it will just create more memories that are going to hurt you. Why the hell would you even consider taking drugs again?" Hotch said angrily causing Reid to recoil slightly.

"I'm s-scared, I'm s-scared of the memories and I-I'm afraid of living m-my life. I'm afraid b-because I know it will n-never be normal again and if an-anything in m-my life goes good then s-something bad will h-happen," Reid whimpered in a small voice as he realised why he was so afraid. He was afraid that if he was happy then that happiness would be destroyed.

"The memories will lessen with time Reid, you can't ever think that drugs are the answer. You don't need this. I'm glad you called me, I'm so sorry I didn't pick the phone up. I didn't hear it. Reid, promise me that you will not think about taking drugs again. You have to promise me. I promise that I will always be there for you to talk to and to support you, the rest of the team will always be there for you as well. Just promise me you won't ever even attempt to take drugs," Hotch said in a more soothing tone as he sat next to Reid on the bed. Reid took a few deep breaths and looked at Hotch.

"I-I promise b-but I'm gonna n-need help," Reid admitted.

"You'll always have help," Hotch assured him.

**Please review**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey everyone, thank you all so much for the reviews. I love you all so much, you are so awesome and thank you again my lovely angels. Sorry for this chapter being short but my sleeping is really off right now so my brain isn't functioning too well.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review**

**Please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch walked out of Reid's kitchen with a cup of tea in his hands, he placed it in front of Reid before taking a seat at the table and clasping his hands together.

"Reid, I'm not leaving you alone tonight. Not in the state you are in, as much as I want to stay with you tonight I can't. Jack is unwell and needs me as well. Who would you allow to stay with you tonight?" Hotch said. He deeply wanted to stay with Reid and help him but Jack was running a fever and he couldn't ignore the cries of his own son.

"I-I understand," Reid said keeping his head down in shame. "C-Can Emily or Garcy stay with me?"

"I'll call them. Reid, I'm not going to stop you from coming to work but for the remainder of the week you'll be with Garcia."

"I-I'm really sorry H-Hotch, I-I didn't know w-what else to do. I-I thought if I took it I-I would be able to f-funtion without the m-memories coming forward, I-I did it once. I-I k-know I was wrong, I just wasn't t-thinking. The craving just t-took over," Reid said in a small voice before he picked up his tea with both hands to keep it from shaking. He took a small sip and felt slightly calmed by the tea.

"Reid, I'm not angry. I just want you to have someone with you tonight and I want you to know that you should never have to feel like this again. Drink the rest of your tea while I call the girls," Hotch sighed before getting out of his seat and dialling Garcia's number.

**45 minutes later**

Garcia and Emily stood at Reid's door, Emily knocked the door. Hotch opened the door with a sad look on his face. Garcia immediately rushed in past Hotch and made her way to find Reid. Garcia walked into Reid's bedroom to find Reid sat on the floor in the corner with his head in a book. She placed her bags on his bed and made her way to his side. He looked up briefly before putting his down in shame. Garcia knelt down beside him and took the book from his shaking hands.

"Reid, sweetheart. It's okay, I'm here. Just let everything go," Garcia said before she brushed some of his hair out of his face.

Reid took a few deep breaths before placing the book on the floor. Garcia was ready for Reid when he launched himself into her arms and hugged her tightly. Garcia sat with him and hugged him with everything she had. She felt Reid begin to cry gently into her shoulder.

"Shh...let it go. I'm here, I'll always be here," she soothed before rubbing small circles around on his back.

Reid lifted his head up, still crying gently and began to talk.

"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking, I-I just wanted t-the memories to get better. I didn't take any, I-I swear I didn't. I'm s-sorry. P-please forgive m-me," Reid cried gently.

"Sweetheart, I know you didn't take any. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm just happy you called Hotch, I'm happy that you called out for help."

"Y-You don't hate me," Reid asked in a small surprised voice. Garcia withdrew from the hug slightly to look Reid's in the face.

"I will never and could never hate you. Let's wipe away those tears," Garcia said before wiping her thumbs over his cheeks and giving him a small smile. "Come on, let's get a smile on that wonderful face."

Reid nodded gently before letting Garcia help him up.

**Emily**

Emily let Garcia go and take care of Reid, she knew that Garcia was the best one to speak with Reid first. She turned around to speak with Hotch.

"I'm sorry that I can't stay but Jack isn't well and he won't sleep without me there. I don't want him alone for a minute, he is a bit fragile tonight but I know he realises what he almost did and how bad it would have affected him if he had taken the diludid. Call me to update me on how he does, I'll have my phone on all night," Hotch explained to Emily.

"He'll be fine, we will make sure that he doesn't try anything else. Where did he even get the Diludid? We didn't find anything when we moved his stuff out of his old apartment. He must have gotten some more or kept it hidden somewhere we wouldn't find it," Emily said.

"Try and find out where he got it from."

"I will. Go and comfort Jack, we have everything under control here," Emily ordered Hotch with a small smirk.

Emily watched as Hotch left the apartment, she took a deep breath and walked towards the bedroom where she found Reid on the bed being comforted by Garcia.

Emily felt sad as she watched Reid struggle with his emotions. She also had questions that needed to be asked and questions that she wanted answered.

**Please review**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey everyone, here is the next lovely chapter for you all. Sorry the chapter is so short. **

**Thank you all for the reviews, they were great and awesome as always. **

**Okay so I want to put this forward and be honest with you. I would like to give Reid a happy ending and I would like to have him end up with Emily. I'm a sucker for them being together. I will leave it with you though. Would you prefer Reid to meet someone new and unknown and be with them? Or what you be happy with him being with Emily?**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

"Garcia, can I speak with Reid alone for a few minutes?" Emily asked. Garcia looked up and saw that Emily had serious look in her eyes.

"I'll go make some hot chocolate, I'll be right back," Garcia assured a nervous Reid. Reid let go of Garcia's hand and watched her leave. He looked up to see Emily with a stoic nature on her face, he knew all too well that Emily only ever had that face when she was angry.

"Reid, where did you get the diludid?" Emily asked. Reid put his head down in shame, he didn't want to tell her where he had got it from.

"Reid, I won't ask you again. Where did you get the drugs?"

"I-I brought th-them about three m-months ago a-after I visited my o-old apartment. I had the c-craving back then a-and I was a-able to fight it but after seeing J-JJ almost get hurt t-the way I got h-hurt, it was h-harder to fight t-the craving. I-I've had some good times and some bad times. I-I fear being h-happy because I know s-something will be around the corner t-to take it away," Reid said in a small voice.

"Why didn't you talk to the team? Why would you turn to drugs again or even consider them an option? The entire team is here for you and all we want to do is help you," Emily sighed as she sat beside Reid.

"You a-all lives and I-I don't want to be in everyone's w-way, you don't think I-I notice that Morgan h-hovers around me and checks my g-gun when I'm away f-from my desk. He checks it a-at least twice a-a week. Hotch ch-checks my desk when I'm not around t-to see if I'm still s-smoking. Rossi k-keeps an eye on me more and more. JJ keeps inviting m-me over f-for dinner every weekend. Garcia practically lives with m-me," Reid chuckled slightly before turning to Emily. "Y-You let me beat you at p-poker."

"E-Emily, I'm sorry but I hate b-being a burden to e-everyone."

"Reid, you are not a burden to any of us. We all do these things because we want to make sure you are protected and safe. Morgan checks you gun because he wants to make sure it is there in working order, JJ invites you over dinner because she wants to keep you close after she came so close to losing you at the hands of Jay and others. Hotch doesn't want your life to be cut short by a habit that you have lectured us about too often. Rossi watches you like a hawk because you are like a son to him, he doesn't want to lose you. Garcia is Garcia, you two have become so close and she doesn't want to lose you. She doesn't want to lose part of her family."

"Reid, I don't let you win at poker. You are better than before if that was even possible. I want you to remember that the entire team is here for you and we will be with you. The entire team is your family and family care for each other. So I want you to listen to my words. If I ever find out you have drugs in your home, I will personally be over to kick your 187 IQ ass. Understood?" Emily warned Reid.

Reid considered her words, he knew that she was right but he couldn't fight the feeling of being a burden. He also knew that Emily didn't make empty promises, he knew that she would probably kick his arse in some way in form.

"Understood," Reid said shakily.

Emily smiled and gave Reid a quick kiss on cheek before ruffling his hair slightly. "I'm happy that you understand that. I'm going to go help Garcia with the hot chocolate. Pick out a movie for us to watch."

Reid watched Emily walk out of his room, he brought his hand up to his cheek and touched the area where Emily had kissed her cheek. He dropped his hand down and let a small smile appear on his face.

One hour later

Emily looked over to the couch from her chair and smiled at the sight she saw. Reid had fallen asleep on the pillow that was laid out of Garcia's lap. She smiled as she watched Garcia stroke her hand through his hair. Garcia noticed Emily staring at them.

"I use to do this when I would have movie nights with him after his kidnapping by Jay Henson. He doesn't have nightmares when I do this and he looks so peaceful. He looks so innocent like this," Garcia said before she pulled the blanket covering Reid up a little further.

"I don't know what he would have done without you," Emily smiled back at Garcia.

**Please review**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey everyone, I'm so sorry for the delay. **

**Is anyone else wanting criminal minds back right now because I'm having withdrawal symptoms, I need some new criminal minds and more new Reid moments. **

**Thank you all for the reviews, they were great as usual. Thank you again. I want to do Emily ending up with Reid but in the reviews there was divide. I will have to think some more. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**One Month Later**

Morgan sighed as he heard a knock as his door, he paused the movie he was watching and made his way to the door. He wondered who could be knocking at his door so late. He was confused when he heard a tapping noise at his keyhole. Morgan opened his door to see a wobbling Reid with a key in his hand.

"Reid?" Morgan asked confused. He watched as Reid looked at the key and then to him. Morgan was surprised when Reid started to giggle uncontrollably.

"S-Sorry...wrong door. Wooopsie!" Reid giggled before turning around and started walking away from Morgan's door. Morgan watched Reid stumble and land on his bottom. Reid started to giggle even more after his fall. Morgan went to Reid's side and helped him get to his feet.

"Reid, come on. Let's get you inside," Morgan said as he began to lead Reid through his door. Morgan realised that Reid had been drinking, he could smell the alcohol on him. Reid stumbled slightly but Morgan kept him steady. He placed Reid on the sofa before he began to check Reid for any injuries. Reid didn't seem to notice Morgan check his arms for any sign that he had taken some Diludid. Morgan was relieved when he didn't find anything.

"Reid, where the hell have you been?"

"I went out foooor a drink," Reid slurred. "I-I was feeling d-down and wanted some time a-alone. Guess Dr Genius d-didn't keeeep count of how many he had."

Reid giggled again causing Morgan to let out a small chuckle. He had never seen Reid so drunk and he hated to admit it but drunk Reid was funny.

"What are you l-laughing at?" Reid questioned before wrapping his arms around Morgan and giving him a hug. "You s-such a gooood friend."

Morgan gave Reid a quick awkward hug back before withdrawing from the hug.

"Stay on the sofa Reid, I'm going to get you some water."

Reid nodded before collapsing back into the sofa. Morgan quickly grabbed a glass of water before making his way back to Reid, he put the glass in Reid's hand. Reid gulped down the water and let out a small burp. Morgan put the glass on the table.

"Reid, why would you get drunk? Was anyone with you?" Morgan asked.

"Nope, I went out all a-alone. Yo-You don't need to worrrry about me a-anymore. I'm s-strong now, I-I can take on any un-unsub that wants to take m-me. I'll k-kick their ass," Reid said as he waved his finger to emphasise his words. "I-I mean w-what can h-happen to me that h-hasn't alllready happened."

"Reid, don't say things like that. You could have gotten hurt, you are in no condition to be out there on your own. You came to my house thinking it was your house," Morgan said with a disappointed tone to his voice.

Reid got to his feet his quickly, he wobbled as he began to speak.

"I'm sorrry if I interrupted w-whatever you were doing, I-I'm gonna go home," Reid said before he started to walk unsteadily to the door.

"Oh no you don't," Morgan said as he put his hands on Reid's shoulder and steered him away from the door. Reid stopped dead and his face started to go a little white.

"Reid, are you okay?"

"I-I'mmmm gonna puke," Reid said before putting his hand over his mouth. Morgan quickly steered him towards the bathroom. Morgan managed to get Reid to the toilet just in time as Reid began to puke down the toilet. Morgan grimaced as he heard Reid retch, he patted Reid's back to try and help him get it out.

"Reid, that is truly disgusting," Morgan said as he caught a glimpse of the sick. Reid stopped being sick and lifted his head up.

"I-I'm tirreed, gonna go sleeeep."

Reid lowered himself to the floor and closed his eyes. Morgan was amazed when he saw Reid fall asleep on the floor. Morgan went to a cupboard and pulled out a blanket and pillow. He placed a pillow underneath Reid's head, he made sure Reid's had nothing in his mouth before he proceeded to cover him up with a blanket. Morgan knew the best place for Reid was next to the toilet, he certainly didn't want Reid throwing up over his new carpet.

**The next morning**

Reid awoke to find himself staring at the base of a toilet, he hissed as he felt his head pound with pain, his brain felt like it was trying to burst out of his head. Reid winced as sunlight from the bathroom window hit his eyes, the pain in his head only got worse.

"Morning sleepy head," a voice chirped. Reid put his hand to his forehead and leaned against the wall behind him. He didn't risk opening his eyes in fear of more pain from the light.

"W-Who's there?"

"I'm the sober fairy, I'm here to help with that hangover," the voice giggled. Reid knew then that Garcia was the one talking, he couldn't mistake that giggle.

"What happened?" Reid said before opening his eyes a fraction. He looked up to see Garcia and Morgan staring at him, Garcia walked over to him and handed him a glass of orange juice and two advil tablets. Reid took the tablets and began to drink the orange juice, he relished at how it helped his thirst.

"You arrived at my door last night thinking that this was your house, you even tried to unlock my door. You were drunk out of your head and you wouldn't stop giggling. You had some water and then you proceeded to throw up in my bathroom. You then went to sleep on my bathroom floor. Reid, why did you have so much last night?" Morgan asked.

Reid shrugged his shoulders before grabbing his head and letting out a little moan. "H-Hangover is horrible."

"Come on, let's go get you something to eat," Garcia smiled.

"Can I have s-some sunglasses? L-Light hurts my head," Reid asked. Morgan disappeared for a moment before coming back and handing Reid a pair of dark sunglasses.

"You may have an IQ of 187 but you are certainly no Dr Genius when it come to alcohol consumption," Morgan smiled at Reid.

**Please review**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey everyone, I felt guilty about having such a long delay that I'm posting this chapter a few hours after the previous one as an apology. **

**So I decided to push forward with Emily and Reid being together, I actually got ordered by my own mother. I got her addicted to criminal minds a while ago. **

**Thank you for the reviews, they were amazing and I will admit that Tanner rose did sway my decision with the Emily thing. Thank you again for the reviews, you are brilliant.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat at Morgan's kitchen table, he was slowly making his way through more orange juice. He sighed as he placed the cold glass against his cheek, he loved the cold sensation, it helped his mind focus away from the powerful pounding his mind was taking. Morgan placed a plateful of food in front of Reid, Reid looked down at the food and felt his stomach churn slightly. Reid wanted to push away the plate of food but he knew that was impolite. Reid grabbed a fork and began to push around the scrambled eggs in front of him.

"Reid, don't make me forcefeed you," Garcia smiled at him.

Reid let out a small smile before scooping a forkful of scrambled eggs and eating it. His chewed slowly before taking another forkful. He had to admit that the food was helping the empty feeling in his stomach. Morgan sat down at the table with Reid and Garcia with a cup of coffee.

"So why did you go out last night and get drunk?" Morgan asked as he watched Reid eat. Reid lifted his head up to look at Morgan.

"I d-don't really want to talk about it," Reid said.

"I'm going to keep on asking until you tell me. All night while you were asleep I had horrible images running through my head. You could barely walk last night and your speech was slurred. What if someone had hurt you Reid? Anything could have happened to you," Morgan said in a serious tone.

"I-I had been t-thinking and I thought having a d-drink would help b-dut I guess i-it didn't. I-I was thinking about the future and what it holds," Reid explained before taking another drink. "I-I'm sorry if I-I made you worry."

"Oh honey, the future is going to be fine. We are not going to let anything bad happen to you, the future is for you do whatever you want to do," Garcia assured him as he took his hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"I'm not worried about s-something happening t-to m-me. I was thinking about the f-future and who I-I would be spending that future with. I wondered if s-someone could ever be with me c-considering w-what I am and w-what has happened to me," Reid said before turning his attention back to his food.

"Reid, of course someone is out there for you. Why would you think someone isn't?" Garcia asked.

"I h-have a missing finger, s-scars around my wrists and s-scars around my b-body that are never going to go away, I can't speak properly and I-I wake up s-screaming sometimes. W-Who the hell would w-want to be with me? She certainly wouldn't w-want to be with me," Reid said before bringing his hand to his mouth as he realised he had said too much.

"She? Who exactly would 'she' be?" Morgan asked.

"I-I don't want t-to talk about it," Reid said as he finished his breakfast. He was just happy that he could hide behind his sunglasses slightly.

"Reid, you clearly like someone. It helps if you can talk about it. We could even help you. I can turn my fairy wings into cupid wings," Garcia smiled at Reid. Reid let out a small little laugh at Garcia's comment.

"I-I can't, I-I just can't tell you b-because it would make t-things awkward."

"How would it make things awkward?" Morgan questioned.

"Y-You have to promise me that if I-I tell w-who I like I-I need you to keep it a s-secret. T-The person t-that I like is the only p-person that can b-beat me at poker."

Morgan choked on his coffee as he realised who Reid liked.

"You like Emily?" Morgan asked with a surprised look on his face. Garcia gasped and let a smile spread across her face. "How long have you liked Emily?"

"The f-feeling has been there f-for a long t-time but I decided that I-I wasn't going to do anything about it. She deserves someone that can give h-her what she wants and I-I can't give her that. I'm still t-trying to repair m-myself, I'm not g-going to burden her with the problems of m-my past."

"Reid, sweetheart. You shouldn't think like that. The past is the past, the future is what you should be looking forward to doing. If you think Emily could be part of your future, you should talk with her. You should as her out. Reid, I want to see you happy. I think Emily could make you happy," Garcia said to Reid.

"Garcia is right, I've seen you two on the jet and when the team goes out together you seem to always be close to her. You always stay close to her even though you don't realise it. Reid, it's clear you both care about each other. I think that you should talk to Emily," Morgan explained.

Reid didn't know what he was going to do. He wanted to move on with his life and he wanted to have Emily involved in his future. He also feared rejection from Emily. He didn't know if handle that.

**Please review**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you, I hope it is okay. I'll probably be putting up a chapter later today (it's 3.05 am) as I write this so that's while I say later today. **

**Thank you again for all the reviews, they were great and I let out a small giggle of happiness when I see each of them. Thank you again. **

**I have a new fanfic called The Murder of Spencer Reid, check it out if you haven't already. See the warning in the summary first though. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Monday**

Reid walked into the BAU with a cup of tea in his hands, he took another sip and found it soothing. He was nervous and worried that Morgan had told the others about his drunken mishap at the weekend. Reid walked into the bullpen to find the entire team grouped around Morgan.

"Hey guys," Reid greeted as he reached them. Emily looked at him causing a small feeling to run through him, it was a feeling that he like.

"Did you have a good weekend?" Emily said before letting out a small giggle. Reid knew right there and then that Morgan had told the others of his drunken adventure. Reid took another sip of his tea and braced himself for the teases to come. Emily was the first to go.

"Should we give you keys to all our apartments?" Emily giggled causing the rest of the team to let out a collective giggle.

"I had a bit too m-much to drink. Y-you have all done it b-before. I remember y-you had a bit t-too much in Vegas," Reid said before he pointed to Emily. Emily put her hands in front of her as if to surrender before walking over over to Reid and putting her hand on Reid's shoulder.

"Don't worry Reid, just promise me that if you want to go out for a drink that you call one of us to come with you. I should let Morgan kick your ass for being so reckless the other night. I was free the other night, you should have called me," Emily said before patting his shoulder and walking to her desk.

"Let's get to work everyone, everyone has a fresh stack of paperwork they should be going through," Hotch said to everyone. The team sighed before walking to each of their desks. Garcia held back though and walked over to Reid.

"Hey, cheer up sweetheart. She wants to be there for you and I think you should ask her out. Go get her," Garcia smiled at him before giving him a playful tap on his chin.

"T-Thanks Garcy," Reid said before he walked to his desk. He made himself comfortable and grabbed the first case file in the very large pile he had. He knew that a few had been sneaked in and he knew the culprits responsible. Reid heard his phone beep, he took it out of his bag and opened the message that he had recieved. He opened the message to see a picture of himself laying on Morgan's bathroom floor, his head on a pillow and his mouth open. He looked underneath the picture to see a message.

'Dr Genius...I don't think so.'

He turned around and to look at Morgan, he saw that Morgan had a huge grin on his face.

"T-That is so immature, d-delete that," Reid said before looking back to his case file. He could fainly hear Morgan laughing but chose to ignore it.

**Later that day**

Reid was packing his bag as he prepared to leave the office for the day, he looked up to see Emily shutting down her computer. He decided then and there that he was going to summon the courage to ask her out. He considered all the reasons why he should and all the reasons why he shouldn't ask her out.

Reid knew he had been through a lot and he knew that if he wanted to take a productive step into the future, he was going to have to go after the things that he wanted apart of that future. He wanted Emily to be part of that future. Reid walked over to Emily and tapped her shoudler. She turned around and greeted him with a smile.

"Hey Reid, what's up?"

Reid's voice caught in his throat, he coughed and tried to talk again.

"I w-was wondering if y-you wanted to go get some dinner," Reid asked nervously.

"Sure, who else is coming?"

"No..I-I mean..just me and you at dinner...like a date," Reid said nervously, his grip on his satchel strap growing tighter and tighter as he waited for an answer. He watched as a look of surprise came across Emily's face, she struggled to say anything back.

"I-I shouldn't have been so u-upfront. M-Maybe another t-time, I-I'm sorry I-I didn't ask properly," Reid panicked before he walked back to his desk. He started to leave but he stopped by Emily's voice.

"Reid, stop!"

Reid turned around to face her, he bit his lower lip nervously as she walked towards him, the sound of her heels making him more nervous about what her answer was going to be.

"I would love to go to dinner with you, let me just grab my jacket," Emily smiled gently at him. Reid couldn't help the grin that spread across his face at that moment, he also felt relieved that his heart had stopped racing and had returned to a normal rhythm.

He watched as Emily grabbed her bag and jacket, he felt happy as they walked out of the bullpen together.

"What type of dinner were you thinking? Food wise," Emily asked, the profiler inside of him told him that she was just as nervous as he was.

"I-I was t-thinking c-chinese food, I-I know a great restraunt," Reid said.

"Chinese it is," Emily agreed before stepping into the elevator with him.

"One more thing Reid," Emily said turning to face him. "You didn't ask me the wrong way, you asked me the right way."

**Please review**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I don't think I have done this chapter right but I've never been on a date so I found it hard to write being on a date. I've made them closer in this because they already have a history and I wanted the connection to be there and ready to go.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, I love them all...I do a little dance when I see them. I should seriously put it on internet.**

**Enjoy and please review (Tell me where I may have gone wrong)**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat at the table nervously as he waited for their food to be served. He looked at Emily to see her smiling at him, he smiled back at her. He knew that he needed to talk to her. He wanted the date to go well because he wanted to start something important with her. He was ready to take the next step in his life, Emily was that next step and he wanted to do everything he could to make sure she was there with him in the future. Reid had always trusted Emily and he had known for a long time he cared for her more than the team knew.

"I-I have to admit t-that I w-was nervous about asking y-you on a date," Reid said before taking a drink of his soda, he had decided against ordering alcohol after his last experience with it. Emily let out a small laugh, she took a sip of her wine before talking.

"I'll be honest with you Reid, I was happy when you asked me on a date tonight. I was just surprised," Emily admitted.

Reid could describe how happy he was at the moment, he had thought Emily would have rejected him in a kind way. He had always thought that Emily was special and that he wasn't special enough to be with her. Reid knew that those negative feelings were still there but he was learning to over come them.

His mind was still fragile and he knew that the nightmares were still there to try and knock him down, he didn't want to burden Emily with his problems but he also couldn't fight against the overcoming need to see her.

"Emily, I-I know that this is t-the first time w-we have been o-out in a w-way that is m-more than friends. I just wanted to tell you t-that I-I've wanted to do this for a very l-long time. I was just scared. T-The reason I got drunk t-the other n-night was because I h-had been dwelling on the f-future, w-when I was t-thinking about the future, I always saw you and I was t-thinking about not b-being strong enough for you."

Reid took another big gulp as he waited for Emily's reaction. Emily brushed her hair behind her ears before holding her hand out in front of her for Reid to take hold of.

"Give me your hand Reid," Emily said gently. Reid brought his uninjured hand to the table. "No Reid, I want you to give me your other hand."

Reid bit his lower lip nervously before bring out his other hand, the hand missing his little finger, the hand that he hid because it had been brutalised by a man that he had killed. Emily took Reid's hand and held it gently, her thumb stroking over the back of his hand. Her touch was warm and he liked it.

"First of all, please do not get drunk again. You worried the team, we were all imagining what could have happened to you that night. You were vunerable and you could have been hurt. Promise me that you will not do anything like that again," Emily said.

"I won't do it a-again, I-I promise," Reid said quickly, meaning every word.

"This is an official date and I want you to know that you don't need to be nervous. We have known each other a very long time, we have been through a lot and you have been through ordeal after ordeal and you've overcome each of them. I'm happy that you are looking into the future. Spencer, if you see me in your future I am happy to try and make that work because I would like to be part of that future if you let me. Don't ever think you are not strong enough for me, you are strong and you always will be," Emily smiled at Reid.

"Thank you Emily," Reid smiled back at her. They let go of each other's hand as the food arrived. Reid had to request a fork in order to eat his foot. Reid and Emily both sat eating, laughing and talking.

"Try this," Reid said as he scooped up some food onto his fork and held it out for Emily. Emily leaned forward and ate the food from Reid's fork, she laughed when she tasted the food.

"Y-Your laugh is b-beautiful, same as you," Reid said without thinking, he realised what he had just said but he liked that he had said it. It was the truth and he didn't regret a word of it.

"Anyone tell you that you are incredibly sweet for a genius," Emily said back at him before giving him a small wink.

"Just you," Reid smiled.

**Two hours later**

Emily pulled up outside of Reid's apartment complex with Reid in the passenger seat.

"You do know t-that the g-guy is supposed to e-escort a lady back to her apartment, to be a gentleman. Not the other way a-around," Reid chuckled slightly as he got out of the passenger car. Emily got out of the driver's seat.

"You didn't drive tonight and I'm not having you escort me home just to get back to you apartment alone. Just because we have decided to go out doesn't mean I'm going to stop being overprotective," Emily said to him before giving him a little nudge.

"T-Thanks for bringing me h-home," Reid said as he stood outside the apartment building doors. Reid and Emily looked at each other. Reid did the first thing that came to his mind, something he had imagined doing for a long time.

"C-Can I kiss you good night?" Reid asked.

Emily giggled slightly before running her hand through Reid's hair affectionately. Reid leaned forward at the same time Emily did, in that one moment he forgot about everything he had been through. He felt Emily's lips on his and he kissed her back, he loved how soft her lips were.

Reid felt sad as he the kiss ended, he also knew in that moment that the future he had been imagining was ready to be his. He was going to make sure he had that future.

**The next morning**

Reid awoke from his bed but didn't want to leave it. He opened his eye's groggily, he looked up at his ceiling before brushing hair out of his eyes. Reid realised then that he had slept through the entire night. He had had no nightmares. It was a strange feeling, he felt like his body had finally had a decent rest. Something that had evaded him for a long time. He also knew that reason why he had slept through the night.

The reason was called Emily.

Reid turned to look at his alarm clock and noticed that it was 10.00am in the morning.

"Oh crap!" Reid shouted as he scrambled out his bed. He was going to be in so much trouble when he got to work.

**Please review**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I'm in an ultra uber happy mode at the moment so I will be updating my other fanfic tonight as well. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, I love them all and just can't ever stop thanking you all for them. Also thank you to my new reviewer for reviewing so many chapters. My email had a bit of trouble keeping up with them all. Thank you again.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid shoved everything he would need for the day in his bag, he himself in the mirror and quickly ran his hands threw his bed head hair, he groaned slightly when he saw that his attempt to look decent had failed. Reid grabbed his bag and bolted out of his door, he narrowly missed a young women coming out his neighbour's apartment.

**Fourty minutes later**

Reid felt nervous as he entered the bullpen, he went through the glass doors and hoped his arrival would be unnoticed. Reid took a few steps in before a small hand slapped gently on the back of his head. He turned round rubbing his head to see a very angry Garcia. Reid knew that he was in trouble then.

"Spencer Reid, where the hell have you been?"

"I'm sorry G-Garcy, I s-slept through my alarm. I'm s-sorry if I made you worry," Reid apologised. Garcia's features softened before she let out a small sigh.

"I'm sorry, I just get worried about you. You are really late, it just brings back memories of the first day that you didn't come into work when Jay had taken you. I'm sorry for hitting you over the head," Garcia smiled at him sadly before giving his cheek a small squeeze. Reid gave her a small smile back as he tried to hide the fact the mention of Jay had made a small flicker of fear fill his heart. Garcia walked away from him, he watched as Morgan gave him a small nod before tapping his watch. Reid gave him a small smile before walking over to his desk. Reid put his bag over the edge of the chair.

He knew that he needed a hot drink, he decided on a cup of tea. He was about to make his way to the kitchen area when he stopped dead at Hotch's voice.

"Reid, can I speak with you in my office please?" Hotch called over the bullpen. Reid nodded before making his way up the stairs and into Hotch's office, he watched as Hotch sat down behind his desk. He looked up at Hotch and couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Care to explain why you were late this morning?" Hotch questioned as he looked up at Reid. Reid squirmed slightly under Hotch's gaze.

"I-I'm really s-sorry that I'm late, I slept through my alarm. I-I got here as fast as I-I could," Reid said as he tried to defend himself.

"How did you sleep through your alarm? I remember you telling me that you always awoke just before it went off," Hotch questioned. "Are you still having trouble sleeping?"

"Actually last n-night was why I was so l-late today. I didn't have any n-nightmares last night, I slept through t-the entire night. T-That hasn't happened in a-a long time," Reid admitted. Hotch looked at him with confusion.

"What do you think caused that?"

Reid knew that he couldn't tell Hotch about his date with Emily, he wasn't ready to tell the rest of the team.

"I'm not sure," Reid lied.

"I'm happy that you slept through the night and I'm happy that you had a full night of rest, just make sure that you are on time tomorrow and from now on."

"I'll be o-on time, I'm s-sorry again," Reid apologised again.

**An hour later**

**Emily**

Emily was watching Reid from her desk, she watched as he grabbed another cup of tea. She still thought it was strange that Reid didn't drink coffee anymore, he stopped drinking it years ago after his first kidnapping. She also wanted to laugh at the fact he still put the same amount of sugar in his tea. She had been thinking about their date almost the entire morning. She had loved the date because Reid had treated her like a lady unlike other men she had dated. Her last date ended up with her putting said date in a taxi and sending him home.

She knew that she had feelings for Reid, she had had them for a while but she wanted Reid to meet someone else, someone that was younger and not worried about her future. It had surprised her when Reid had told her that he wanted her apart of his future but it had also given her the courage to jump into the date. She had loved the date and everything about it. Even how nervous Reid was. She knew that her feelings for Reid were stronger now, she knew she also wanted more. She wanted another date with him.

Deep down was also worry about Reid. She knew that he had been through traumatic and life changing events, she knew that he had scars and nightmares but she didn't care about them, she wanted to do everything she could do to help Reid. She could help move past all his fears.

Emily jumped when a small cup was placed on her table, she looked up to see Reid smiling down at her. She happily grabbed the coffee in front of her and took a sip of it.

"Hey Emily," Reid smiled at before taking a seat at the edge of her desk.

"Hey Reid, why were you late this morning?"

"I slept through my alarm, I-I slept all last night. I didn't have one nightmare," Reid explained before taking a sip of his tea. Emily smiled at the news that Reid had slept through the entire night.

"Why do you think that you slept through the night?" Emily asked. Reid looked at her for a moment, Emily realised it was because of her before Reid said it.

"It was you, I t-think that I was able to block out the bad with something good. Our date helped me do that," Reid admitted.

"Would you care to do it again tonight?" Emily asked, eager for another date.

"I would love to, anything in mind?" Reid asked.

"I have a few things," Emily smirked at him. Reid let out a small laugh before Morgan called across the bullpen for him.

"I'll see you l-later," Reid said quickly before standning up from her desk. Emily gave him a small wave as she watched him leave. Emily's mind suddenly realised what was strange about her conversation with Reid. He had barely stuttered throughout the entire conversation, his speech had practically been normal.

Emily knew she was helping Reid, she knew she was something good for him.

She also hoped that he could be good for her.

**Please review**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hey everyone, I am so sorry for the delay in this chapter. I have been really busy and I hope you can forgive me for not updating. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm really nervous about this chapter so please let me know what you think.**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews, you are all super amazing and I love you all. If I could come and hug you all, I would. Thank you again. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid laughed as he let Emily lead him through the carnival they had been at for most of the evening. Reid enjoyed holding Emily's hand in his, he loved the way she would turn back at him and smile. They came to be side by side again. Emily picked off a small part of candyfloss from the candyfloss Reid was holding in his other hand, she giggled slightly as she ate it. Reid enjoyed her laugh even more at that moment, he loved how free and fun Emily was being. He had never seen her like this before. Reid held her hand tighter as they walked through the crowds.

"Good idea c-coming to the carnival tonight," Reid said before taking a bite from the candy floss, he grinned slightly as he licked his lips.

"It's only in town for tonight and I thought you would enjoy it. A much less formal date," Emily smiled at him. Reid smiled back at her before he stopped walking. Emily also stopped walking as well.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked as she noticed Reid biting his bottom lip. Reid shook his head slightly before he smiled at Emily, he brushed a hair from her face and placed it behind her ear. Emily couldn't help but feel like a teenager at that moment. All she was focused on in that moment was Reid and his incredible eyes.

"Can I kiss you again?" Reid asked. Emily smiled at the fact he was always asking permission to kiss her.

"Stop asking me for permission and just do it," Emily grinned. Reid grinned back happily, he wrapped his arms around her waist and brought his lips to hers. He kissed her tenderly but deeply, he didn't care if anyone was staring at him at that moment. All he cared about was kissing Emily, his wonderful Emily. A woman who made his stutter disappear. A woman he wanted to be with completely but was too scared. He knew she didn't know the truth about what Jacob had taken from him. He wanted to be with her so much though. He withdrew from the kiss and smiled at her.

"Do you want to come back to my place?" Emily almost whispered. Reid nodded his head and held her hand as she pulled him away from the crowd.

**Thirty minutes later**

Reid watched as Emily unlocked her door and deactivated her alarm, he was in a slight daze as Emily pulled him into her apartment. He looked around and noticed that her apartment was nice, it was very her.

Emily slipped off her shoes and felt a strange sensation run through her, she felt an uncontrollable urge to grab Reid and have Reid but she fought against the urge. She didn't want to rush Reid into anything.

"Do you want a drink?" Emily asked as she pointed to her kitchen, she was nervous and she knew her voice gave her away.

"I'm fine," Reid said quickly.

"We can always watch a dvd," Emily offered before she took a few steps into towards her dvd collection. Reid looked at Emily and knew at that moment he had to make his move, he had to show Emily that he could be the man that she wanted. Reid took a few tentative steps forward before he wrapped his arm around Emily's waist, he pulled her towards him and put his lips to her, he kissed her tenderly before running his hand through her hair. He jumped slightly when Emily wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, he relished the feeling of her hands in his hair.

Emily moved Reid to the bed, her hands still tangled in his hair. She sat him down on the bed as she withdrew from the kiss, she pulled her top over her head to reveal her bra. She tried not to think of the scar she had on her chest from Ian Doyle. She smiled slightly as Reid's eyes went wide. She leaned down and pushed Reid down to the bed as she kissed him tenderly, she straddled his hips and began to undo the buttons of his shirt. She was slightly surprised when Reid grabbed her wrists, his breathing heavy.

"Reid, are you okay?" she said as she watched him take a deep breath.

"I-I've never been with a women b-before, I-I was virgin before Jacob H-Harris did what he did. I-I really want this to happen but I just w-wanted to tell you. I-I don't want t-this to be bad for y-you. I-I don't want you to be repulsed by scars," Reid admitted nervously, his voice shaking slightly. Emily took a moment to absorb Reid's words, she leaned up slightly and took Reid's hand, she placed it over her scar.

"We all have scars Reid, nothing about you could ever repulse me. Everything you do just makes me love you more. Just don't worry, I'll guide you," Emily said to him before bring his hand up and kissing it.

Reid smiled at Emily, he let Emily continue undoing his shirt before pulling it off him. He lost his breath slightly as Emily kissed down his neck, he lost it even more when Emily kissed the scars on his chest.

**The next morning**

Emily watched as Reid slept, she watched as his chest rose before falling down again. He looked so peaceful, almost like everything in his past had been erased from their one night together. She smiled at the memory of the previous night, it had been amazing. Every man she had met had only ever wanted one thing from her, they had never been as gentle as Reid had been. Emily looked at the alarm and knew they had to be at work soon. She moved over next to Reid and stroked her hand through his hair, she smiled as she his brown eyes open to look into her eyes.

"Hey genius," Emily smiled at him. "We have to go to work."

Reid leaned forward and pulled Emily into a hug, Emily leaned on Reid's chest and enjoyed listening to his heartbeat.

"I-I wish we didn't have to go to work. I wish we could s-stay like this all day," Reid smiled before kissing the top of her head.

"Me too," Emily sighed as she felt Reid's hand stroke up and down her back.

**Please review**


	36. Chapter 36

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter. I'm not sure about this chapter so please bear with me. **

**Thank you for the reviews and I'm happy that you like the last chapter. Thank you again for them. You are amazing and fantastic.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid watched as Emily left the bed with part of the sheet wrapped around her, he smiled as he remembered the night before and how fantastic it had been. Last night made him forget about everything that had happened to him, it made him forget the horror of Jacob Harris. The dread of the past was still there in his mind but it was dulled by Emily. He had felt her trace the scars on his back when she thought he had been asleep. He had enjoyed it and he had not tensed at her touch. He found her touch soothing in a way he had never before felt. Reid groaned after a few minutes knowing that he would have to get out of bed and get to work on time. Reid wrapped the sheet around his waist and quickly grabbed his clothes from the floor, he almost tripped over the sheet but managed to keep his balance. He quickly pulled on his boxers and was about to pull on his trousers when Emily walked out in a tank top and shorts, her hair wet from her quick shower. She smiled when saw him rushing to get his clothes on.

"Do you want to stop by your place on the way to work?" Emily asked.

"I have some spare items a-at work, I can change t-then. We'll be late if we stop at my apartment," Reid said to her as he finished buttoning his shirt. He couldn't help but notice Emily staring at him. He looked at her with a puzzled look.

"What a-are you staring at?," Reid smiled at her.

"Just staring. I've noticed that you have a more muscular body last night, I like it," Emily smiled back at him before disappearing back into the bathroom. Reid grinned at Emily's comment. He knew that his body had become more muscular, he had been aiming to be stronger for a while, he was happy that the result was visible from the outside.

**BAU - Fifteen minutes later**

"What do you want to do about the others? What do you want to tell them?" Emily asked as she pulled into her parking space. She turned off the engine and looked at Reid.

"I don't think w-we should say anything, I-I might have to tell Morgan and G-Garcia though," Reid said nervously.

"Why might you have to tell them?" Emily asked with confusion. Reid didn't miss the undertone in his voice, he knew thta she was just as nervous as he was about the team finding out what had happened between them.

"The morning after I-I got drunk, Garcia and Morgan p-practically held m-me hostage till I told them why I got drunk. They were the ones t-that pushed me p-past my worries. You t-try getting away from Garcia with a hangover," Reid explained.

"How about we just go through the day as normally as we can. We'll deal it when we have to. I just want to enjoy us for a while," Emily admitted before she took Reid's hand and held it tightly. Reid held her hand back and smiled at her.

"I like it when you say us," Reid smiled at her. Emily grinned back at him.

"I like it too."

Reid and Emily decided to enter the bulding seperately. He gave Emily a quick kiss before he watched her enter the building. He waited a few mintues before making his way into the BAU. He took a deep breath before entering into the bullpen. He looked around and noticed that Emily had made her way to the kitchen and was pouring herself a cup of coffee. Reid quickly made his way into the men's locker room, he jumped when Morgan was appeared in front of him.

"Morgan, I d-didn't see y-you there," Reid said quickly, his voice slightly high pitched.

"Morning Reid, I spilled some coffee done my shirt. I just came in here for my spare," Morgan said as he pulled on a fresh black t-shirt. Morgan looked up and noticed Reid's clothing. "Aren't those the clothes you were wearing yesterday?"

Reid nodded quickly before going to his locker and pulling out his go bag, he pulled on a fresh shirt and sprayed some deodrant on himself. He tried to ignore Morgan staring at him.

"Reid, I know you went to the carnival with Emily last night," Morgan grinned at him. Reid froze before slamming his locker and looking at Morgan.

"How could y-you possibly know that?"

Morgan kept on smiling as he pulled out his phone from his pocket, he turned it around to show Reid a picture. Reid froze as he looked at the picture, the picture showed him kissing Emily at the carnival.

"H-How? I mean-" Reid said as he struggled to find the words to talk back.

"Garcia wanted to go to the carnival so I took her last night. We spotted you two kissing and Garcia snapped a picture. Garcia was practically jumping up and down last night," Morgan explained before putting away the picture.

"I didn't k-know you were there. Pl-Please don't tell a-anyone else. P-Please don't tell H-Hotch, JJ and Rossi," Reid begged Morgan.

"Reid, relax. Garcia and I will keep your secret. I want you to be honest with me, are you happy with Emily?" Morgan asked seriously. Reid relaxed slightly before running a hand through his hair to calm himself. He leaned against his locker and smiled.

"I love b-being around h-her, she c-calms me down and she was gentle. M-My stutter disappears w-when I'm around her and I-I love being with her," Reid smiled before letting out a small laugh.

"I've never seen you this happy," Morgan observed with a smile. "She is perfect for you Reid."

"She's always been perfect," Reid said thoughtfully.

"Did you two sleep together?" Morgan asked quickly. Reid tried to keep his face calm and stoic but his inner self, the part that was kicking the horrible memories in his mind into a cage and keeping them there, couldn't stop the small grin coming across his face.

"You dirty devil," Morgan laughed before giving Reid a pat on the shoulder.

"How did you know? P-Please don't tell Emily that you know," Reid said.

"Reid, you walked into work with the classic 'just had sex hair'. If you don't want the others to catch on I suggest you sort out your hair."

**Please review**


	37. Chapter 37

**Hey everyone, I'm really sorry for the delay but had a bad couple of days and have felt horribly ill for the last two days. I hope you can forgive me. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, they were amazing and thank you so much again. You are all amazing reviewers and I am so happy to have you all. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistake are my own**

**One month later**

Emily poured herself a cup of orange juice from Reid's fridge, she had left him to sleep, he looked so peaceful in his sleep and had only had two nightmares in the last three weeks. She had stayed up with him that night and calmed him down, she hated seeing him so hurt and afraid. Emily smiled though at some of the things that they had done over the last month, they had practically been glued together. She had even surprised him in his hotel room when they had been away on a case. That night had perked them both up. Emily made her way into the living room and looked at Reid's book collection, she studied them and was still amazed at the fact that Reid knew each of them by heart. Emily bumped into the book case next to her causing her to almost spill her orange juice. She heard a small bang at her feet, she looked down and found a small leather bound journal had fallen from the bookcase. She bent down and noticed handwriting inside it, handwriting that belonged to Reid. Emily put her orange juice on the table and opened the journal to the first page.

**Entry 1**

_Tonight I had another nightmare, I can't sleep properly anymore and its beginning to hurt. I can't stand this anymore, I can't keep it inside anymore. All I want to do is scream and cry and make someone understand but I can't, I can't because I can't be that person. I can't be weak in the eyes of my team. I love my team and I know they want to keep my safe but they will never understand what I'm truly going through. Tonight's nightmare was about Jacob attacking me in my apartment. I can't stop dreaming about that night. I can still feel him hitting me, I can hear him taunting and whispering into my ear. I can still feel him inside me._

_I was supposed to be strong back then but I wasn't. I will never be strong because they all took that away from me. They took away my innocence and made me nothing. I can't stop crying and I can't stop the pain. I don't like my new apartment, its lonely and cold. The dark is terrifying because deep down I fear that one of the monsters from my mind is going to come for me, the monster will drag me back to a place I know is hell._

_Emily felt her heart ache as she read the first entry, this journal wasn't that old. This was started when Reid had moved into his new apartment. Emily turned the page and read the next entry._

**_Entry 2_**

_I was sitting on the metro tonight, I should have taken Emily's offer of a ride home. For a moment I thought he had somehow survived being shot, I looked up and saw a man sitting across from me. He stared at me with eyes that were all too familiar. He looked like Jacob, I couldn't breathe and I couldn't stop the memories from rushing forward. I ran off the train and walked two miles in the rain._

_I rather be cold than in pain._

"Your're not supposed to be reading that," Reid's voice said from behind her. Emily whipped around and found herself looking at an angry Reid. "Wh-Why would y-you read that?"

Emily held the book up in her hand.

"Reid, you know that we are here. The entire team is here for you, you don't have to keep everthing buried. Why do you think we wouldn't understand?" Emily said as she walked forward a few steps.

"NONE OF Y-YOU WILL EVER UNDERSTAND!" Reid exploded with anger causing Emily to flinch slightly. "N-None of you w-will understand the pain I-I went through. How c-can any of you understand? I w-was tied to a-a bed and used like I was n-nothing. He ripped throught m-me and b-beat me mercilessly and t-the entire time I could feel him. I wanted to d-die at that moment."

Reid had tears of anger falling down his cheeks before running his hand angrily through his hair. Emily put the journal on a nearby table and walked over to Reid, she tried wrapping her hands around him but he moved back.

"Reid, please let me touch you," Emily asked. Reid shook his head furiously before rubbing his cheeks.

"I-I don't w-want you to have t-this in your life. You deserve someone that is strong and c-can take of y-you. I-I'm not strong and you deserve better," Reid said before walking back into the bedroom.

"Reid, get back here," Emily shouted as she raced after Reid. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him back to her. She put her hands on his cheeks and made him face her.

"Reid, I want you in my life. You are the strongest man I know and I don't want to lose you. You make me feel so happy. I love you," Emily smiled at Reid. Reid looked into Emily's eyes and felt his heart stop slightly.

"You love me?"

Emily smiled as she tucked Reid's stray hair behind his ear.

"I love you Spencer Reid," Emily smiled at him. Reid swooped down and kissed Emily deeply, he ran his hands through her hair and loved the feel of it. Reid withdraw from the kiss and looked into her eyes.

"I love you too."

Emily grabbed Reid and pushed him to the bed. Both lost in the moment.

**Please review**


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm sad to say that this fanfic is coming to an end. I have four more chapters and then that is it. I have a few endings in mind but feel free to throw in what you would like to see and I might be able to put them in there. **

**Thank you for the reviews, they made me feel so better reading them and they were fantastic. Thank you again. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid awoke in the morning to find Emily sleeping against his chest, he let out a long happy sigh before he brought his hand up and stroked his fingers over her bare shoulder. Reid loved the fact that they still one more day of the weekend left. They had originally planned to go out but plans changed and he was happy that they had. Reid thought back to all the take-out food that he had eaten alone, all the nights he had spent with no-one there with him. Reid began to despise those moments. He liked spending time with Emily, he loved her smile but what he loved the most was her strength, she was strong and he knew that he needed that. Reid heard a knock at his front door, he sighed for a moment before carefully sliding out from the bed. He gently lowered Emily's head to the pillow, he didn't want to disturb her. Reid quickly dressed himself and made his way to the front door. He was only a few steps from the door when a familiar voice spoke from the other side.

"Reid, open up," Morgan said before knocking again.

Reid immediately unlocked the door and felt himself freeze slightly at who was with Morgan. He was looking at the entire team standing outside his door. His mind immediately focusing on the fact that Emily was still in his bed.

"Hey Reid, can we come in for a moment?" Hotch asked politely.

"Um...yeah. Come into the kitchen," Reid said as he directed the team into kitchen. Morgan closed the door as he was the last one in. He took a few steps before facing Reid.

"Reid, is Emily here?" Morgan asked with a small smile on his face.

"No of course not," Reid tried to lie but his face and emotions gave him away. Morgan knew he was with Emily, he didn't want the others to know. He knew FBI agents were not supposed to date each other and he didn't want anything to ruin his relationship with Emily. Reid inwardly smiled at the word relationship He loved the meaning and the fact he was now in.

"Reid, you didn't stutter when you answered the door and your hair is messed up again. Is Emily here?" Morgan asked again.

"Yes, she is sleeping and I-I don't want Hotch to find out. I-I don't want rules at work t-to interfere with my relationship with Emily," Reid said quickly before he walked into the kitchen after being called in by Garcia. He felt Morgan follow him. Reid leaned against his kitchen side and felt the entire team's gaze on him.

"Reid, we came over to talk to you. Some of us are a little worried about you and how distant you have been for the last few weeks," Hotch explained before giving Rossi and JJ a brief look. Reid immediately knew he was referring to Rossi and JJ as being the 'some'.

"I'm fine, I-I've never been b-better," Reid said.

"Reid, you need to tell us if something is wrong. We are here for you and we can help you if you are having trouble," JJ smiled at him. Reid was about to speak when he heard footsteps approach the kitchen, seconds later Emily appeared at the doorway of the kitchen in a small top and shorts. Her eyes went wide as she found herself staring at the rest of her team. Emily quickly glanced at Reid, Reid face with a mix of fear and embarrassment.

"Morning," Emily blurted out nervously. JJ gasped as she realised what was going on.

"You and Reid," JJ smiled happily at Emily. "How long?"

"A few weeks," Reid said to help Emily, he walked over to Emily and held her hand before pulling her close to him. Emily smiled at him before turning to face the team. "I know t-that dating other members in the bureau is against rules b-but Emily makes me f-feel happy and alive again. I love h-her and if I need to leave the FBI to be with her I will."

"Reid!" Emily said in surprise as she took in Reid's words.

"Reid," Hotch spoke up, his face stoic as he walked around till he was stood in front of Reid. Hotch put his hand on Reid's shoulder before letting out a large smile. "Reid, if Emily makes you happy then I have no problem with you two being together. As long as your work stays the same and your relationship doesn't interfere with your work I have no problem. Relax Reid."

Reid and Emily both let out a breath of relief before letting out a small smile. Reid pulled Emily closer to him and kissed the top of her head. He couldn't help the small laugh that escaped from him as he heard Garcia and JJ let out a small 'awww' noise.

"You two look good together," Rossi said before letting out a small grin.

**Later that night**

"I can't believe they all saw me in my shorts," Emily laughed as Reid massaged her shoulders. Emily let out a long sigh of happiness as Reid continued and as they watched the movie.

'I can't believe I have you' Reid thought.

"Emily, I'm sorry that I-I got angry with you for reading my j-journal or if I scared you. I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I-I'm really sorry," Reid said nervously.

"Reid, everything is fine. I shouldn't have been reading it, I should be the one apologising. I'm sorry for reading it," Emily said before turning around, climbing onto the sofa and leaning into Reid.

Reid put his hand under his cushion pillow and pulled out his journal, his hands shook as he held it but he steadied them before holding it up in front of her.

"I bookmarked the p-page I want you to read. I want you to read it because it was done just before I went out a-and got drunk. Its about you," Reid said before handing over the journal.

"Reid, are you sure?"

"There are six pages, read them and look at them. Please."

**Please review**


	39. Chapter 39

**Hey everyone, here is the next lovely chapter for you all. I'm in a softy mood and I wanted to really show the love in this. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Only three more chapters after this!**

**Thank you for the reviews, they were lovely and I want to thank you for them all over again. I am so lucky to have readers like you all. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid gave Emily a small kiss on her cheek before getting off the sofa and walking to the bedroom. Emily looked at the journal in her hands before she opened it to the first page that Reid had bookmarked. Emily started to read the page, her mind absorbing every word.

_I had a strange dream, my dream was about Emily. It wasn't a nightmare, it was good dream instead. I can't stop thinking about her kissing my cheek all that time ago, my best theory is that the small kiss caused my dream. In the dream I was laying in some grass, I had all my fingers and it was lovely and warm. It was so peaceful, I never wanted to wake up. One moment I was laying in the grass and then she was there. She was laying next to me and smiling at me. I didn't know what to do. She looked so beautiful laying in the grass, her long hair on her shoulders. She kissed me before letting out a small giggle and ruffling my hair. She got up and started to run away from me, I chased after her but I woke up before I could catch her. I know deep down I want to be more than friends with her but I'm scared. I'm scared because horror follows me, it haunts and hurts me. I don't want someone I care about to be subjected to the pain I've been through. Especially not her. I want Emily to be safe. I want them all to be safe._

_I don't know what to do. I'm too afraid to tell Emily how I feel. I don't deserve someone like her, she deserves someone who can give her what she wants. I know she wants to be a mother so much. She deserves someone who can give her a child, I don't want to curse a child with my nightmares, my fears and my life. I know deep down I want her at my side for the future but I can't._

_I'm okay keeping her in my dreams. She's safe there. I'm not safe in my dreams._

Emily took a few moments to compose herself, she moved to the next page which had been written a few days later. Emily realised it had been done after they had first one on a date.

_She said yes! I've felt like I've been dreaming all night long. I've never felt like that before on a date, I've not felt this happy in a long time. Emily came out with me tonight, she wants to be part of my future. Part of me can't understand why she wants to be with me or part of my future. I'm ignoring that part and listening to the part inside of me that is bouncing around my heart. We kissed after the meal, we kissed and I felt like everything in my past had never happened. In that moment, it was just me and her._

_I hope everything works out, I hope my nightmares and fear don't ruin this._

Emily couldn't help the small smile on her face as she finised reading the small writing on the page. She turned over to the next page to see it covered with carnival photos, the next one was also covered with photos from other events they had gone to, before they started seeing each other.

She stared at the page for about two minutes as she let her mind wander back to memories of the photos. She turned over to the next page and found the next two pages directly addressed to her.

_Dear Emily_

_The last few weeks have been amazing and I never want them to end, I know that this has gone quickly but I just want you to know that I will do anything and everything to keep you at my side. I'm not the most of romantic of people but when I'm with you I feel like I can ignore all the problems of my past. I can ignore them because you make the memories go away. You make me happy. I love you so much and I will always be at your side as long as you want me there._

_I want you to know that if I get ill, if I become a schizophrenic like my mother, that you can leave me. I don't want you to be burdened with that if it happens. I don't want to hurt you. I know that I couldn't keep you safe if I ended up like my mother._

_I want to say that I'm ready for the future and I want you to be apart of that future._

_I never apologised all those years ago, when you confronted me about my behaviour when I was taking diludid. I'm sorry how I treated you back then. I wasn't angry at you, I was scared of how brave you were back then. You were the only one to call out my behaviour, you were never afraid to stand up to me. I'm sorry for how I acted back then and I hope you can forgive me for being so hurtful back then._

_Emily, I tried to kill myself and Rossi saved me. I'm thankful that he saved me because he saved my future with you._

_He saved me from making the biggest mistake of my life._

_I wanted you to read this because I can't always tell people how I really feel. I've written these pages after you told me that you loved me. I still want to give you a choice. I don't know what the future holds or if the future holds bad things for me. I hope it just holds good things._

_I want give you a choice because sometimes I don't feel like I am good enough for you. I want to give you a choice to put down my journal and walk out the door or put down the journal and walk into the bedroom. I hope you come to the bedroom._

_Spencer, your Spencer xxx_

Emily felt a tear run down her cheek, she wiped it away and placed it down on the sofa. She stood up from the sofa and looked at Reid's apartment door. She looked to Reid's bedroom door. She took a deep breath and began to walk.

**Reid**

Reid sat on the edge of his bed, his heart racing as he held a small object in his hands, he smiled as he held it. Reid looked up when he saw his bedroom door open, he couldn't help the smile that came across his face.

"I will always make this choice," Emily smiled at him before sitting next to him and taking the object out of his hands. "You were always good at solving the star puzzle."

**Three weeks later**

Reid ran up the stairs of the apartment building, his gun held firmly in his hands. He was chasing after the latest unsub, he felt out of breath after climbing so many stairs. Reid walked through the corridor, he jumped slightly as the lights in the apartment went off. The grip on his gun increased. Reid heard a creak behind him, he whipped round and felt a blinding flash as something smash into his face.

**Please review**


	40. Chapter 40

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter. Only two chapters left after this and then that is the end. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, I smiled as I read them and I did my new dance of happiness. Thank you again, you are all amazing.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid groaned slightly as he felt his body move, he opened his eyes a fraction and noticed that he was being dragged away into a small room. He felt his attacker drop his legs and run over to the door, his vision cleared enough to see the unsub lock and barricade the door. He tried to get up but found the pain in his head to painful, he hissed at the pain. He put his hand to his face and noticed that his nose was bleeding heavily. He knew from the pain blossoming in it that it was probably broken. He looked back to the unsub to find his own gun being aimed at his head.

"You should have been quicker at seeing me," the unsub smirked at him before walking to Reid's side and delivering a swift kick into Reid's ribs. Reid coughed as the impact left him breathless and his ribs in pain. "You are not supposed to be here."

"You d-don't have to do this, y-you can make things easier if you give yourself up," Reid said back calmly as he remembered to keep himself calm. Reid felt himself freeze as he heard his radio crackle with Hotch's familiar voice. "Reid, we've not found anything. What's your location?"

Reid looked at the unsub nervously, the unsub knelt down quickly besides Reid and shoved the gun roughly under his neck. He vision blurred slightly as the pain in his head increased.

"Hands by your sides," the unsub hissed at Reid. Reid followed the unsub's instructions, he knew that he had to wait for the right moment to make his move. He knew the man holding his gun was a very strong man but he knew he had to try and fight back. He refused to be a puppet in the hands of another unsub. The unsub moved his other hand and pressed Reid's radio.

"Agent Reid is busy at the moment, he'll be back in contact with my demands soon. For now, I want you to keep all your agents back. If you don't I'll happily put Agent Reid's brain all over the wall."

The unsub switched off the radio and smiled at Reid, he stepped back from Reid and kept the gun steady as he did.

"You don't look like much of an FBI agent, they must be hiring any weakling now," the unsub laughed giving Reid's leg a little kick.

"Don't ever call me weak, I am n-not weak," Reid snapped at the unsub. "Y-You can make this easier o-on your sentence if you give yourself up. Holding an FBI a-agent hostage is not going to help you."

"What makes you think that I will be caught?"

"Y-You are surrounded by FBI agents as well as local swat and police. You h-have no way of g-getting out of here. You are delusion if y-you think that you are getting out of h-here," Reid said.

"You have a bit of a mouth of you, don't you?" the unsub said angrily at him. A small flash of light came across the window causing the room to be illuminated by the light. Reid noticed the unsub had become distracted by the light, the unsub looked up giving Reid the chance that he needed. Reid brought his foot up and kicked the unsub's knee, the unsub buckled and fell to his knees. Reid quickly smashed his other foot into the unsub's hand causing the unsub to release the gun. Reid rushed forward and tried to grab the it but yelped as he felt a hand grab his hair and pull him to his feet. Reid moaned in pain as the unsub delivered a swift punch into his stomach. Reid managed to keep himself composed enough to fight back. In one swift move, Reid smashed his elbow into the unsub's stomach causing the unsub to release his hair. Reid stepped back and brought his fist up to punch the unsub under his chin. He like the feeling of satisfaction he received as he watched the unsub smack into the wall. Reid brought his foot up and delivered a swift and fast kick to the unsub's face. The unsub slumped to the floor unconscious. Reid fumbled slightly as he turned his radio back on but finally clicked it on.

"Subject detained. All clear," Reid said down the radio, his breathing slightly pained. Reid grabbed his handcuffs and went over to the unsub, he turned the unsub over with some difficulty and handcuffed him. Reid jumped slightly when Hotch, Morgan and Emily broke down the door. Emily immediately rushed to his side and helped him get to his feet.

"H-He's unconscious, I kicked him in the f-face," Reid explained before hissing with pain when Emily pressed against his nose to see what the damage was.

"Emily, get Reid down to the ambulance. We'll deal with him. Reid, it looks like their was one hell of a fight here. Did he hit you anywhere else?" Hotch asked.

"I t-think I smacked my head when I hit the floor after he hit m-me the first time, I think my nose is broken. He kicked me in my ribs and punched me in my stomach," Reid said as he listed his injuries. He didn't want the team to worry.

"Go to the ambulance, we'll be down soon," Hotch said gently to Reid. Reid nodded and leaned on Emily slightly as they made their way downstairs to the ambulance.

Emily stroked her hand through Reid's hair to try and comfort him but was alarmed when he brought her hair away to find blood on her hand. Reid moaned as her hand made contact with the back of him head.

Emily felt Reid slump slightly before watching Reid's knee's buckle. She managed to catch him as he fell to the floor unconscious.

"Reid! Reid, answer me," Emily said as she tried to wake Reid back up.

"I need a medic!"

**Please review**


	41. Chapter 41

**Hey everyone, the next chapter is the last chapter! I can't believe I'm not going to be writing this any more I hope you like this chapter and that you are okay with how I've decided to end things. I've always had this at the back at of my mind as the way of ending things and I finally decided that I loved this way too much not to do it. The next and last chapter will wrap things up. Sorry about it being so short but had a really busy day.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews, I'm sorry I always make you worry about Reid but I can't help it. Thank you again, you are awesome.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

"We need a medic."

Morgan felt panic as he heard Emily's voice from downstairs. He looked at Hotch who gave him the go ahead to see what was going on. Morgan quickly ran from the room and down the stairs to find Emily holding an unconcious Reid. He felt slightly sick as he noticed Emily's hand covered in blood. Morgan arrived at Reid's side the same time the medics did. They moved Emily and Morgan aside to help Reid.

"What the hell happened? He was fine upstairs," Morgan asked Emily.

"I brushed my hand through his hair to try and make him feel better, to calm him down but I brought my hand away and it was covered with blood," Emily said, her voice full of fear and panic. "I should have stayed with him when we were searching the apartment."

Morgan and Emily stood watched as paramedics put Reid onto a board and carried him to the ambulance. Emily and Morgan followed them and were soon joined by Rossi and JJ. Reid was quickly loaded into the ambulance.

"I want to ride with him," Emily said as she went to the ambulance doors. The paramedic ushered her in quickly.

"Take care of him Emily," Morgan shouted into the ambulance as the doors closed. Emily quickly seated herself in the ambulance and took hold of Reid's free hand. She held it gently as the ambulance made its way to the hospital.

**A few hours later**

Reid sighed as he found himself being take away from the realm of sleep and into the real world. A pain ran through his ribs but it was dulled slightly by whatever was making him sleepy. His eye's fluttered for a moment before opening, he turned his head and smiled when he saw Emily asleep on his bed. He reached out his hand and stroked it through her hair. His smile grew bigger when Emily woke up and looked into his eyes. He loved the sleepy edge to her eyes and smile.

"Hey sleepy head," Emily laughed lightly before leaning over and kissing him on his lips.

"Should I give you two love birds a room?" Morgan chuckled from the corner. Reid and Emily turned to face him with a smirk on each of their faces. Emily returned to her seat but took hold of Reid's hand, giving it a light squeeze of care. Morgan shuffled closer on his chair.

"W-What happened?" Reid asked.

"Emily was helping you down towards the ambulance, you fell unconcious before she could get you there. The doctor says that you have a severe concussion and some bruising to your skull and a wound, that was where all the blood came from. You are going to have some mean headaches in the next few weeks. You have a few fractured ribs and a broken nose. You have some swelling and bruising on your face," Morgan explained.

"I b-bet I look horrible," Reid sighed.

"You look handsome to me," Emily smiled at him.

"You always look beautiful to me," Reid said back to her.

"Get a room," Morgan said jokingly.

"We are i-in a room, my room," Reid replied with a small smirk.

"I'm going to get some coffee, do you want anything?" Morgan asked Emily as he rose from his seat.

"I'd love a cup of tea."

"Tea?" Morgan said, he had always seen Emily drink coffee.

"Reid has turned me around to tea," Emily said before ushering Morgan out of the room. Morgan left the room leaving Reid and Emily alone.

"I was so worried about you, I was so scared when you fell to the floor," Emily smiled sadly at Reid.

"I'm sorry."

"Just don't do it again. Promise me," Emily said seriously.

"I promise. I-I'll do my best."

**Four years later...**

_Reid found himself standing in front of the other bloody version of himself. He looked at the other version and felt a flicker of fear, he kept the fear back though. He was stronger than he was four years ago. Four years ago, he thought he was at his strongest point. He found out that he could be a lot stronger than that._

_"You can't ever forget about your past. I'm always going to be in your head," the bloody version mocked._

_"I know that you'll always be in my head and I can't ever forget the past. I don't think about the past any more because I have a wonderful future ahead of me," Reid snapped back before staring down the bloody version of himself. "I don't have to listen to you any more!"_

Reid felt himself rip away from the dream by a small voice. He felt two hands in his hair before one of the hands started poking his face. Reid opened his eyes and smiled at person poking him in the face.

"Time taw wake up Daddy."


	42. Chapter 42

**Hey everyone. Last chapter! I'm so sad writing this because I have loved writing this series so much and I've loved having you all as readers. I just want to say a big thank you for all the reviews, faves, story adds and for being amazing reviewers. Thank you so much for all the reviews, they have been great and I have loved them all. I hope this last chapter is okay.**

**Thank you again for reviewing.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid let out a big yawn causing his daughter to let out a small giggle. Reid pulled away the covers and sat on the edge of his bed. He smiled when two little arms stretched out telling Reid his daughter wanted to be carried. Reid stood up before swooping down and lifting up his little girl.

"Good morning Diana, where is mummy?"

Diana pointed to the kitchen. Reid smiled as he made his way to the kitchen with his little girl. Reid placed his daughter on his hip as he pushed the kitchen door open with his free hand. He loved the wonderful smell of breakfast as he walked in.

"Good morning sweetheart," Reid said as he walked over to Emily and kissed her. Emily grinned back at him before she looked down at Diana who was leaning against Reid's chest.

"I'm just warming up her breakfast," Emily said before kissing Diana on her cheek. "Did daddy wake up okay?"

"Yah, I poke him on ta nose," Diana giggled before poking Reid on his nose again. Reid and Emily both laughed before Reid placed Diana into her eating chair. He gave Diana a small cup of milk which she took in her small hands and began to drink. Reid poured himself a cup of tea before giving Emily a cup as well. Emily leaned in closer and whispered to Reid.

"Did you sleep okay? I noticed that you tossed and turned a few times last night," Emily asked.

"Just a b-bad dream, nothing serious. Did I worry you Mrs Reid?"

"No, I wasn't worried, well I was. Spencer, you are my husband. It is my job to worry about you. I love the way our life is now. We are married and have a beautiful daughter. I will always worry as it helps me keep what I love safe."

"Nothing will happen, I-I won't let it," Reid said giving her a small hug and kissing the top of her head. Emily and Reid both laughed when they heard their daughter making kissing noises behind them.

"I'm r-really looking forward to the picnic today," Reid smiled as he placed Diana's breakfast in front of her after it had cooled down.

"So am I," Emily smiled before handing Reid a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs.

**Two hours later**

Reid watched as Emily made her way towards Garcia, JJ, Will and Henry, he knew that they were early and the rest of the team was still yet to arrive. Reid unstrapped Diana from her car seat. He picked her up and lifted her from the car. He grabbed Diana's small bag and another picnic basket before closing and locking the car door. He put the child bag over his shoulder and held the basket in one hand. Little Diana took his free hand and they began to walk towards the picnic area. Diana held on to his hand tightly as a dog barked nearby. She leaned into Reid for safety.

"I-It's okay sweetheart, you don't have to be scared. Daddy won't let anything happen," Reid said as they continued to walk to the picnic area.

Diana immediately lightened up when she saw Garcia.

"Pen-Pen," Diana shouted happily before letting go of Reid's hand and running into Garcia's open arms. Garcia lifted up a happy and laughing Diana, Garcia held her in a big hug. Reid placed the basket and bag on the big blanket on the grass.

"I've b-been replaced for the day. I think we both have," Reid said to Emily before pointing to Garcia, who had already given Diana and Henry a present each. Emily let out a small smile as she watched Garcia with Diana and Henry.

"Hey Spence, you okay?" JJ asked.

"I'm fine, I was woken up by Diana poking me in the face today. I-I'm perfect," Reid replied happily.

**Three hours later**

Little Diana's cry pierced the air causing Reid and Emily to go on full alert. Reid immediately ran over to Diana to see she had fallen over. He immediately picked her up and cuddled her to his chest.

"Daddy, I f-fell," Diana cried into Reid's chest. Reid carried her back over to picnic blanket.

"Is she okay?" Emily panicked as she began to check her daughter for any injury. The rest of the team were all looking at them with worry.

"She just had a little fall, s-she is fine," Reid assured Emily before stroking his hand through Diana's brown hair and calming her down. Diana stopped crying but kept herself in Reid's arms and against his chest. "Do y-you want mummy to give you a hug?"

"Wanna stay wit you," Diana said as she held on tighter to Reid.

"She's a daddy's girl. What do you expect?" Emily smiled at Reid while she stroked Diana's hair in a motherly way.

"How is my god daughter? How is my mini genius?" Morgan said before passing Diana a small teddy bear. Diana took it happily and held it tightly.

"Tanks Uncle M-morgan."

"Anytime kid," Morgan smiled at Diana.

**Rossi**

Rossi watched as Reid and Morgan talked, he couldn't the small smile across his face as he watched Reid comfort and care for Diana. He loved that Reid was living a good and happy life. Rossi hated thinking about how different things could have been if he had never discovered Reid trying to commit suicide. Seeing Reid happy and peaceful made Rossi have a little more faith in the world.

"He's a good dad," Hotch said to Rossi as he sat down next to him.

"Did you ever doubt he would be?" Rossi said.

"I never had a doubt he would be. I must admit I was worried about him after his mother passed away but he got through that. I'm just glad to see him living life again. He deserves to be happy after everything he has been through," Hotch smiled. Rossi and Hotch both watched as Reid laughed and played with Diana. Reid was doing a rubix cube and little Diana was fascinated with the how fast he was doing it.

"I still can't believe that you started a college fund for Diana," Hotch said to Rossi before having a small drink.

"What can I say? Reid is like a son to me and I couldn't resist doing it after she called me Grandpa Rossi," Rossi chuckled.

"That little girl has us wrapped around her finger," Hotch said.

"That she does," Rossi agreed.

**Later that night**

Reid yawned as the day caught up with him. He felt relaxed though, he had enjoyed spending time with the team. He had enjoyed not having to worry about work. Reid loved being a father, he loved being a husband but he also loved being himself again. All that fear and terror he had felt about the world had disappeared when his daughter had arrived. He smiled as he thought back to the hospital after Diana had been born.

_Reid almost felt like crying as he held Diana in his arms, she was so tiny. He wondered how something so beautiful could have come from him. The small baby in his arms was wonderful. Reid felt so happy as he held her. He looked up briefly as he watched Emily turn over to her side. Reid looked back down to baby Diana._

_"I'm going to protect you, I promise y-you that I will always care and love y-you. I'm so glad you are here. I'm happy that my team saved me all that time ago. I wouldn't have married your m-mummy and I would never have had you if they had not saved me. I'm your daddy, I'm going to make sure that you have a wonderful life."_

Reid snapped out of the flashback when Diana climbed into her bed. Reid pulled up the cover and covered Diana up. He placed her teddy bear next to her and smiled as she held it tightly.

"Can I have a story?" Diana asked in a sweet voice.

"What kind of story do you want?" Reid said as he approached the small bookcase of children's books.

"One bout you and mummy," Diana smiled. Reid sat down on the bed and started to talk.

"Once upon a time there was a prince called Spencer and a princess called Emily..."

**Ten minutes later**

Reid turned off the lamp next to Diana and turned on the monitor, as dark consumed the room the glow in the dark stickers around the room and on the ceiling gave the room some light. Reid walked into his room and changed into his pyjamas. He promptly joined Emily in bed. He checked that the monitor was on so he could hear if anything happened. Reid switched off the light and laid down against the pillows.

"I heard the story," Emily smiled as she cuddled against Reid.

"It's my favourite," Reid said to her.

Reid watched as Emily fell asleep against him. Reid sighed happily before letting himself be carried off by sleep. Reid loved his life, all the pain and struggles he  
had been through didn't hurt him any more because he was able to hold them back. He held them back with memories of his daughter and wife.

Reid smiled as thought about his life.

And how it couldn't get any better.

**The End**

**Thank you so much for reading, you are all amazing and I have loved having you as readers and reviewers.**

**Never fear though, I'll always be doing fanfics with Reid. **

**Thank you again**


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